Burlesque Babe's Re-building life but back in debt diary

Burlesque_Babe

I have to say I did hear myself think the other night 'I want my career back' and it literally stopped me in my tracks and I had to play it back in my head.

At the end of the day, my situation isn't the end of the world. I am still in a better position than lots of others. I'm paying all my bills, I'm making all the minimum repayments and my credit file is now nice and clean. I have a job (even if they are rubbish pay and weird hours). In fact, I have 3 official jobs plus invigilating so it almost makes me seem greedy :rolleyes: .

I have food on the table and fuel in the car. True, I don't have any fat to trim (except from my own body :rolleyes: ) but I am in a stable if tight position.

I don't worry about my current situation. I'm mindful of it not being ideal, but it isn't causing me worry.

The only time I would start to worry is if interest rates jump hugely (as they could). I am on 5.44% fixed until next July, when I will need to move. I would need to look at the wording but their variable is something plus x% and if it is more than my current payment I need to be able to move, but this needs to be tied in with being in a job where I would readily be accepted elsewhere.

I was on 28.5k to be accepted last time (the month before I was made redundant so I knew I was back on a fixed rate), so I guess I'm on a 12 month countdown to be as near as I can to this salary......

beanielou

ZTD wrote: »

You can't live in virtual poverty forever.

Why not
A lot of people do(including me)

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have to say I did hear myself think the other night 'I want my career back' and it literally stopped me in my tracks and I had to play it back in my head.

That's a good sign.

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

At the end of the day, my situation isn't the end of the world. I am still in a better position than lots of others. I'm paying all my bills, I'm making all the minimum repayments and my credit file is now nice and clean. I have a job (even if they are rubbish pay and weird hours). In fact, I have 3 official jobs plus invigilating so it almost makes me seem greedy :rolleyes: .

But that's the point. You're working so hard - flat out - but only barely keeping your head above water. That's why a better paid job would be a good break for you. You can't drive a car flat out all the time without waiting for a bang and a cloud of smoke, and it's not different for people.

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I have food on the table and fuel in the car. True, I don't have any fat to trim (except from my own body :rolleyes: ) but I am in a stable if tight position.

I don't worry about my current situation. I'm mindful of it not being ideal, but it isn't causing me worry.

Which is good news.

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

The only time I would start to worry is if interest rates jump hugely (as they could). I am on 5.44% fixed until next July, when I will need to move. I would need to look at the wording but their variable is something plus x% and if it is more than my current payment I need to be able to move, but this needs to be tied in with being in a job where I would readily be accepted elsewhere.

IMHO (gazing into crystal ball) interest rates (Bank Base Rate) won't be going up any time soon. However, lenders may increase their margins - so SVR may go up. But I don't think (gazing into crystal ball once more) that they'll go up tremendously.

The concern is more if you are unable to work - how long could you be off for before you have trouble?

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

I was on 28.5k to be accepted last time (the month before I was made redundant so I knew I was back on a fixed rate), so I guess I'm on a 12 month countdown to be as near as I can to this salary......

The rate you're getting interviews at the mo, you should do that.

Burlesque_Babe

ZTD wrote: »

The concern is more if you are unable to work - how long could you be off for before you have trouble?

If I were so ill I couldn't even AQA? About 9 months on my savings. I'd then have to start living on CC's (obviously not ideal) which would give me another 18 months. I'd be flat broke and about 20k in debt on month 28 though!

ZTD wrote:

The rate you're getting interviews at the mo, you should do that.

yeah, but I need to be going to interview where they are actually taking on people they see, not just wasting their time playing at interviewing :rolleyes:

ZTD

beanielou wrote: »

Why not
A lot of people do(including me)

Because there is also the amount of effort taken to keep you there.

It's a bit like having two people bobbing in the sea. One has a life-jacket on, and doesn't take that much to keep themselves floating. The other has an anvil tied to their ankle, and is thrashing vigorously to keep themselves afloat.

Although both are up to their shoulders in water, one is in a much better position than the other.

And alas in BB's case, I believe the anvil to be the house (OK strictly speaking the mortgage). It's a pretty anvil - but still an anvil.

Burlesque_Babe

yep, my mortgage is a killer. It's the situation though and the norm for down here these days, in fact, my mortgage is probably small in comparison to the majority down here (I had a 55k deposit as well!). At least I have a decent equity if I ever needed to leave - I'd guess with the downturn, I have about 70k equity now, rather than 100k I had about a year ago. I don't want to (or need to) leave the area, but it is a big bill for a small property.

If I were still with my ex, we'd only have about 20k left on our mortgage (we paid 45k in 1992 in the last recession when house prices were falling through the floor), but that's another life and I'd probably be in a terrible position debt wise because he would not be an easy convert to being an MSE type person.

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

If I were so ill I couldn't even AQA? About 9 months on my savings. I'd then have to start living on CC's (obviously not ideal) which would give me another 18 months. I'd be flat broke and about 20k in debt on month 28 though!

You're too organised...it would take me ages to find that out for myself.

When I was with XOH, I did know how much interest rates would have to go up before it would wipe out our overpayments, and how much they'd have to go up before we could no longer afford it. I'm a bit lax these days...

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

yeah, but I need to be going to interview where they are actually taking on people they see, not just wasting their time playing at interviewing :rolleyes:

They will come. Keep an eye out for those people re-advertising. Hopefully they will have been visited by the clue stick in the meanwhile and will be re-advertising sensibly....

ZTD

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

If I were still with my ex, we'd only have about 20k left on our mortgage (we paid 45k in 1992 in the last recession when house prices were falling through the floor), but that's another life and I'd probably be in a terrible position debt wise because he would not be an easy convert to being an MSE type person.

If I was still with mine, we'd either have a second house up in Northumberland (near where Pepe stayed) or we'd have just literally paid off the mortgage completely (April this year).

But as you say - it's another life.

beanielou

ZTD wrote: »

Because there is also the amount of effort taken to keep you there.

It's a bit like having two people bobbing in the sea. One has a life-jacket on, and doesn't take that much to keep themselves floating. The other has an anvil tied to their ankle, and is thrashing vigorously to keep themselves afloat.

Although both are up to their shoulders in water, one is in a much better position than the other.

And alas in BB's case, I believe the anvil to be the house (OK strictly speaking the mortgage). It's a pretty anvil - but still an anvil.

I can see where you are coming from but for most people in a one income household its the reality.
With you both on the other life.
I would be almost morga ge free & have a holiday house on a wee Scottish island.
All part of lifes rich pattern though.

Burlesque_Babe

I am on the verge of crying and it's for a really stupid reason.

I've had all the old money stress feelings well up this afternoon and they aren't even related to me.

My ex has had the threat of redundancy for about 2 months. He is a teacher at a private school which has suddenly merged with another school to stop it going down the pan.

the result is a huge swathe of redundancies and it has been swift since the announcement at Easter. He knew the head of department at the other merged school had a better chance of being slotted in (done with scores/matrix etc) because the other school teaches A level and his does not.

He had a letter yesterday to say he has been selected for redundancy and his meeting will be on Tuesday. There is little chance of him being offered any other job.

He will get around 6k redundancy (for 17 years service!) plus 12 weeks notice.

He has his mortgage, a secured loan at 264 per month and about 5 CC's totalling around 12k. About 2 years ago I helped him get all his CC's onto 0% (the total was around 10k). I explained that this was a chance to get the debt reduced. He didn't listen and kept his spending levels at the same amount and at the end of the year his debt was up to 12k and the banks had pulled most of the 0% deals.

He had an insurance claim which is just about to pay out 5k, he'll need to spend around 500 of that but he has the rest, so he will have around 10.5k plus 12 weeks notice. He has 2k bank charges on hold so that can't really be counted for anything. He also gets 3k cash lump sum refund on his loan in Aug 2010 as long as he doesn't claim on the insurance.

He is not a fighter. He has already said he will just sell the house and live at his Mums. He won't ever get another job, he needs to be on 30k, he doesn't want to reduce his food spending (around 250 per month on 1 person - I kid you not).

I went to see Charlie just now and he was out. On the table was an annual statement abouthis secured loan and the letter saying he has been selected for redundancy. There was a note saying 'concerned about the future of Barclays and situation at school'.

All the old money fears I used to have when we were together came back like a wave of sickness. I started to worry for him. He veers between oh well, it will be fine and off to spend another £70 in Tesco and then it's the end of the world, no future for me ever, might as well jump off a bridge.

I want to help him, but I keep telling him - he keeps getting last throws of the dice (ie getting it on 0%) but he had to make sure that he was ready if the shiite hit the fan. He hasn't done and the shiite is going to and I'm now feeling stressed for him because I don't think he will cope.

We went through some terrible times when we were together financially through a combination of naivety, head in the sand and stupid spending. Even when I tried to change, he wouldn't, it was one of the factors which led to us splitting up.

There are still lots of things he can do and I am willing to help him, but I just fear for the next couple of months ahead and I know it is stupid that someone else's situation affects me this way, but it does - it stirs up horrible old worries and fears and part of me thinks - this is absolutely not my problem - and part of me thinks - I really want to help him through this as much as I can. He doesn't have the support network of DFW and I don't think he can do it on his own.

I don't expect anyone to reply etc to this rambling, because it is just a rambling, but I feel how I used to when we had an unexpected bill, and I knew I'd have to tell him when I got home and how he used to react. He hasn't had what I used to call his 'black' depression since we split but I am fearful and want to support him however I can, but at the same time it's affecting me already.

Please ignore all of this, I need to get it out of my system somehow.