Burlesque Babe's Re-building life but back in debt diary

Burlesque_Babe

Burlesque Babe?? Starting a diary? I thought she was debt free



Sigh...........well, here I am. And no, I'm not.


For the last couple of months I've been swilling around in my head that I need to sort my finances as they've got to the point of no return and I'm very sad, disappointed and ashamed to say that my debt free life I managed to attain 24 months ago is no more..........

For those who don't know me - a quick intro. I joined MSE in 2005 and managed to pay off 25k of debt through bloody hard work. I did every trick in the book and although it was stressful, I did it. I was in a very well paid job of 28k at the time but was still struggling but I learnt every MSE trick in the book and changed my spending lifestyle.

However, unfortunately I had a change of manager and, to cut along story short, she treated me like poo and I had some kind of breakdown I kept going and through her actions in re-structuring the department (of 3 :rolleyes:) managed to get redundancy and then put in for constructive dismissal through intimidation. I won, in fact they couldn't pay me off quick enough after seeing the 118 pages of diaried evidence and the witness statements of some very senior staff.

So, I was out of a job, had 28k in the bank but was a complete shed head, Ihad no confidence and was too scared to do basic stuff like go to the supermarket - god knows why. I already had AQA as a job from my last debt busting and I decided to just live on that until I was ready to step back up to the plate.

After 12 months of that (and a dwindling interest in spending 10 hours a day 7 days a week glued to the screen) I felt better enough to get a very low grade job - it was all I had the confidence for. I got an admin. job at £7.50 an hour for 18.5 hours a week but in an area I'd always been interested in. I also re-trained and am now also teaching adults part time - very part time really!! I am also still doing AQA (although doing it makes me almost want to cry with boredom ) and all that is bringing me in less than £1000 a month before tax.

I have a partner. We've been together 6 years next month. We don't live together and he has his own house, so his own bills. He stays here 7 nights a week. He has always been a bit erm....reticent....to help but since leaving my last job he has agreed to pay towards the food and I've slowly got that up to £80 per month.

I cook from scratch, I have no social life other than DFW meets and my lifestyle is very MSE.

However, this lack of salary has meant I've been dipping into my savings at a rate of around £300 a month this year (on top of money already spent over the last 2 years) and............

I have an overdraft and some CC debt I'm paying the minimum as that's all I can afford.

This has all been a growing worry for the last few months and is now almost constantly on my mind.

So, I'm back with a debt busting diary. I have around 5k in debt, nothing in comparison to before, but I exploited many of the offers etc last time so it will be doubly hard to get the easy extra income.

When you see my SOA, you'll see the gaps, and you'll also see I still have some savings. The MSE way is to use the savings to clear the debt, but this would really break my heart and I feel I should work at it to clear it without using much of the savings I have left. I know that isn't the way to do it, but it's just not how I can face doing it.

For those who do know me, I feel a bit of a fraud as the debt has been growing over the last 12 months but I've been trying to tackle it in a kind of 'it will disappear soon by magic' of way, but funnily enough, it hasn't.

Actually, that's a very long intro.........but I wanted anyone reading to understand how and why i'm in this position.....

Right, I'll do a SOA next.........it doesn't make for pretty reading.....:(

Snaggles

Hiya BB - welcome back to diaryland.

Firstly, don't panic, you've realised what's happening before it turned into a disaster - £5k in debt is significant but not horrific. And for what it's worth, I do tend to agree with you about keeping back some savings. Us girls who run a household on one income need access to a pot of cash in case things go wrong, and that peace of mind is worth more than a few quid a month in interest saved (in my opinion ).

So, you know the drill - brew, SOA, hugs, kick up backside....etc.

We're all here for you hunny xxx

Primula

Hi there
I'm still a "newbie" here in comparison to yourself, but wanted to say good luck, you did it before so you know you can do it again. I'll be reading with interest!
P
x

Burlesque_Babe

thankyou Snaggles, I think the tears are finally coming now though.........

Snaggles

Burlesque_Babe wrote: »

thankyou Snaggles, I think the tears are finally coming now though.........

They will do sweetie - and they are needed. You've been holding all this back for the last few months, and it HAS to come out. Cry your heart out, get it all out of your system. You will find that the tears will dry, and they will have taken with them a lot of the fear and embarrassment you were feeling. That in itself will help you feel a bit less exhausted by the task in front of you.

Wish I could give you a real hug, here's a virtual one for now (((((hug))))).

tenmah

Just wanted to say good luck. Let the tears come, it is only natural, then when you have finished you can face what you have to with a clear head.....

Buffythedebtslayer

Snaggles wrote: »

They will do sweetie - and they are needed. You've been holding all this back for the last few months, and it HAS to come out. Cry your heart out, get it all out of your system. You will find that the tears will dry, and they will have taken with them a lot of the fear and embarrassment you were feeling. That in itself will help you feel a bit less exhausted by the task in front of you.

Wish I could give you a real hug, here's a virtual one for now (((((hug))))).

Wow Snags you are so wise. That is why I always think you are older then you actually are. :beer:

Many hugs BB, I can't say much else, Snags said it best.

I wish I was as good at paying off debts as you are tho, I never knew you were once 25grand in debt.

Whats you best tip?

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Burlesque_Babe

The irony of it all.............my phone has just rung - one of those overseas pay off your debts companies...........I don't know whether to laugh at the timing or cry...........

Buffy.........my best tip (although I'm not sure if any tips from me should be listened to as I'm back in the poo!!!) ......to be honest, is keep a diary. It kept me focused and gave me the opportunity to write it all down. I became obsessed - as I could well do again, but it let me see everything I was doing every day.....

Gemmzie

Glad to help anyway we can as always BB

pepe2008

I read Snaggles' post as 'welcome back to dairyland!

If anyone can follow the MSE way, you can BB. Its a shame that you are having to face it again but at least this time the mountain appears to be a bit smaller.......it just feels massive in the cold light of realization that something has to be done.

Pepe xx

Numpty_Monkey

BB you have nothing to be embarassed about
You have realised that you were getting into debt, and are doing something about it