We'd like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum. This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are - or become - political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
Would you and kids go on hoilday without partner
Comments
-
Yes, I'd take my kids on holiday without my partner, and he'd take them without me - he has even been on holiday on his own and left the kids with me. I haven't done the same, but I know that I could if I wanted to.
As for 'poor kids' I think that if they haven't been away in almost 2 years then it's not unreasonable to want to take them, especially if you don't live close enough to a beach for day trips.
Where in the country are you though? perhaps you could take the train to a seaside for a day trip? I've started looking into it, and bought a family railcard because I'd love to take the children to a beach during school holidays when my husband is at work.
How long will dialysis last for? sorry I know nothing about it. If he wasn't ill I'd say yes, go, absolutely. How ill is he though, and how much does the dialysis affect him? If you went to butlins for 3 nights and filled the fridge and freezer with meals, bought bread and milk would he able to look after himself, or is he too ill to cook? Is he too weak to shower himself?52% tight0 -
I would book a holiday for you and your kids. To be completely honest, it sounds like you could use a break. It must be quite upsetting for your kids knowing that he isn't well and i think a short break would do them the world of good. It's not a question of whether you love him or not, it's about what would be good for the kids. It's quite petty of him to say that you don't love him if you want to go away without him.0
-
Ive been on holiday w/o husband -he couldnt go as he had just had surgery and insurance wouldnt cover him (skiing holiday). It was already booked but when I came back he said it was an awful week and it wouldnt happen again. It happened again last new year, holiday already booked but he had had a heart attack in the November and once again insurance wouldnt let him go. I did say I would cancel and kids would go with my sister and bil but he insisted that I went -so I did. I personally cannot see a problem with going away alone - if boot was on the other foot I would want all my family to go and enjoy themselves whenever or wherever and would be happy to listen to how they had all enjoyed themselves on their return. Just reassure him - phone him every night. The first time I went away I left little notes around the house telling him how much I loved him and would miss him. Good luck and go...0
-
thanks for all replys, regarding the dialysis he has to have it untill a suitable kidney become availble for him, yes he can look after him self well he seems to cope ok in the week while im at work full time, he does cooking cleaning, bits in the garden, he find on the days he has dialysis he is tired so normally when he gets home from hositpal come home and goes to bed until i get in from work(so has a few hours kip then he is fine) he can shower himself, i have thought of getting a rail card so we can go on day trips as i dont drive, we live in milton keynes, on the days he goes for dialysis he is pick up from home and taken to oxford(john radcliffe hospital) for the treatment and brought back in the car his time slots are normally about 8am till 12pm and he is home by 1.30pm so has rest of day to him self untill i get in from work.0
-
How old are your children? I'm just being nosey
Whether I'd go or not would depend on how well he was and if he could look after himself, and if he had somebody to call if he needed to.
We don't do 'if you loved me you wouldn't go' in my family, but perhaps his illness is making him feel insecure. Sorry to be blunt, but does he think he might die while you're away?
Also, I got a sense in your first post that you think his children are better off than yours because they can have holidays - are you feeling that he is less committed to your children than you'd like? If so did you feel that way before he got ill?52% tight0 -
I haven't read the other posts, but I think you should go on holiday without him, for the sake of the children. I love my boyfriend and love going on holiday with him best, however I also go on holiday with my sister and other friends sometimes, and although my boyfriend misses me, he doesn't mind.
Could you and your partner have a nice night (or 2) away somewhere, just the two of you, as a holiday for you both?0 -
I've only just stumbled on this thread whilst searching for info about Center Parcs but just wanted to say (if the OP is still around on this forum) that my Mother was on dialysis and every year, she received a letter from her dialysis unit asking if anyone wanted to apply for a free holiday. The holidays were through the BKPA and you could have a fortnight on a half board basis for the patient and a partner in either Crete or Majorca, they had dialysis centers very close to the hotels. If you wanted to take any other family members, they were happy to let you do this and you paid the extra costs.
Also, it might vary from each NHS board, but we were able to take my Mother on holiday to a country where there was no reciprocal dialysis arrangement. Our health board provided a "payment guarantee" and settled the dialysis bill for us on our return.0 -
I would not leave my partner - sorry0
-
Firstly, as you asked for opinions, I have to say I wouldn't leave my partner if he was ill, but then I don't have kids, so it's easier for me to change my plans without disappointing anyone. Having said that, I don't think the kids will suffer from not having a hoilday - look elsewhere on the boards and there are lodas of people with ideas for fun days in and out which you could organise to make sure your kids have a fantastic time without leaving home.
However, aside from that, could it not be that your OH is scared? After only three months, he might not be confident in going elsewhere for dialysis or worried that if anything happened when he was away he might not be as comfortable as he would be at home. Maybe he's projecting his fear on you because he doesn't want to admit that his situation is scary and that he doesn't yet feel confident enough to be more adventurous? Will he discuss the possibility of going away a little further in the future when he's had a chance to come to terms with his situation?
Personally, the thing I hate most about being ill is missing out on things, and a family holiday is exactly the kind of thing that makes you really aware that you aren't out there enjoying yourself because your stuck on your own being unwell - that seems selfish, but with it all so new to him and still trying to adjust to the lifestyle changes that he will have to take into account, it might not be a permanent mind-set, just a knee-jerk reaction to feeling as though he's missing out on life.
I hope you can work something out - it sounds like a very difficult situation all round and I hope you can find a solution which leaves everyone happy.0 -
He needs to grow up.
He is denying his partner's kids a few days away and does not seem to want to look into alternatives so he can join them, well imho he really needs to stop focussing on himself all the time and try to see it from a child's point of view. OK, the guy is ill, but the kids only have one childhood, why should it be spoilt by another adult who is behaving like a big kid?
Does he compete for attention with them the rest of the time too, OP?;)
I know if my DH was tied to home he'd still want us to have a break form the situation for a while, isn't that what the kids need, it's not a fortnight in the sun, it's a few days of being carefree.Member of the first Mortgage Free in 3 challenge, no.19
Balance 19th April '07 = minus £27,640
Balance 1st November '09 = mortgage paid off with £1903 left over. Title deeds are now ours.0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply

Categories
- All Categories
- 348.2K Banking & Borrowing
- 252.1K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 452.3K Spending & Discounts
- 240.8K Work, Benefits & Business
- 617K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 175.6K Life & Family
- 253.9K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 15.1K Coronavirus Support Boards