Would you and kids go on hoilday without partner

christmaspud

morning everyone
just wanted to ask everyone
would you go on hoilday or even think about going to hoilday without your partner, my partner has kidney dislayis every monday wedensday and friday for 4 hours a day(linked up to machine in hositpal)
and my partner does not want to go on hoilday while he is on this,
he says seeing as im his partner i should not want to go on hoilday without him so that means me and my kids dont have hoilday while he is on kidney dislayis, it does not really affect my partner kids as they have hoildays with there mother who they live with....
now am i in the wrong by wanting a hoilday for all of us
my partner said i cant really love him if i want to go on hoildaY WITHOUT HIM(MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY)
any advice please.........

Pigeongirl

Is it a serious relationship? If it is then I'd say it's a bit mean to go on holiday without him. I certainly wouldn't want to go on holiday without my other half, especially if he was so poorly that he was needing dialysis.

slobbery

Well I have to disagree with last poster. If you have a good solid relationship then spending time apart is fine, there's nothing wrong with doing seperate things.
In our relationship we do things together and seperately, he goes off to weekends with his historical interests and I'm shortly off to Italy with my sisters. We also have at least one holiday together with the children.
We also work together, so are with each other all day every day.
If you love and trust each other, time apart shouldn't be an issue?

lynn2

When I was in business with my husband, I took several holidays abroad, just me and my three young children whilst he ran the business (too expensive to pay for cover)
The kids and I had a great time. It caused no problems.

it'smeinit

I think he's being a little selfish for not wanting children to have a.. holiday!
It's not their falt that he's unwell. There life should not be put on hold!!

SatansPlaym8

I dont think its mean wanting to take the kids away on holiday. I dont think its selfish at all. Everyone needs a break so could you not compromise and go late friday night all together and come back early monday for his dialisys? I know you said he isnt keen but explain about the children. I dont understand how he can say if you want to go on holiday you dont love him. Everyone needs there needs meeting once in a whilke to guilt trip you into not having a holiday could do more damage to your relationship.

MrsBartolozzi

Can you not go on holiday somewhere he can get dialysis? I have a friend who goes off to trek in Norway most summers and he gets dialysis there. (I know no more details than this, sorry, but I was told that there was some kind of reciprocal agreement between European countries allowing people to arrange for their dialysis while on holiday. I am sure your renal unit would know more.)
If your OH gets it done at night (as my friend does) then the disruption to your family's holiday would be minimised.
Just a thought:).

doelani

My husband and kids ( his and mine) have been on holiday without me and I had no issue with it. He also would have no issue with the other way around.

I know the situtaion is slighly different if he is sick and he probally wants you here for support but has he other family / friends that can support him ? How long has he been having treatment ?

This is not just you but your children being deprived of a holiday, sorry if it was me I would be having a serious talk with him and trying to get him to agree but if not I would eb putting kids first.

NoAngel

I remember going away a few times with just my mum as my dad was busy running his business. It was never a problem. As a preious poster said, I'm sure that dialysis can be arranged at otherhospitals, I've heard of this before. However, he may be too ill to go? I don't think your children shouldn't get a little holiday becaue of this, surely one week somewhere won't be too much?

bestpud

Yes, I'd go and I'd want my children to have a holiday if I were on dialysis.

Nothing to do with loving him or not - in fact that's a childish statement tbh.

squirrelchops

My Dad was a farmer and hence wouldn't want to go away in summer when it was baling etc so Mum took me away on her own. TBH he wouldn't have enjoyed a relaxing beachy holiday suitable for kids anyway so was best on our own!!!!