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Would you and kids go on hoilday without partner
Comments
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christmaspud wrote: »morning everyone
just wanted to ask everyone
would you go on hoilday or even think about going to hoilday without your partner, my partner has kidney dislayis every monday wedensday and friday for 4 hours a day(linked up to machine in hositpal)
and my partner does not want to go on hoilday while he is on this,
he says seeing as im his partner i should not want to go on hoilday without him so that means me and my kids dont have hoilday while he is on kidney dislayis, it does not really affect my partner kids as they have hoildays with there mother who they live with....
now am i in the wrong by wanting a hoilday for all of us
my partner said i cant really love him if i want to go on hoildaY WITHOUT HIM(MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY)
any advice please.........0 -
I don't think you would have posted if you didn't know the answer already.
Don't ask him - tell him. Give him the choice of joining you for a weekend, of having dialysis on holiday, or you and the kids going away along.
If he won't choose, it's option three.
What he does then, is up to him.Debt free 4th April 2007.
New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.0 -
I don't think you would have posted if you didn't know the answer already.
Don't ask him - tell him. Give him the choice of joining you for a weekend, of having dialysis on holiday, or you and the kids going away along.
If he won't choose, it's option three.
What he does then, is up to him.
ITA, this emotional blackmail isn't an adult way of dealing with the situation he finds himself in TBH. Lots of couples holiday apart for many reasons- DH took the kids away at half term because he teaches and gets more time off than I do- I had to work. It wasn't nice being home alone but it was necessary.
IMHO either he is being callous "I can't have a nice holiday so you can't either" (whereas actually he could have a rather good holiday if he decided to so so!) OR more likely he is feeling insecure that you could "do without him" and maybe will meet someone else on holiday (like that will happen with the kids to look after!).
Talk to him, put the feelings to bed and have a great holiday with or without him!0 -
thank you all for all your great advice
im going to try and talk with him about all this
thank you all very much0 -
We're in the same position as you, my OH also has his dialysis on mondays, wednesdays & fridays and I know he wouldn't mind if I went away for a break with my DD (not that we can afford it).
As others have said there's nothing stopping your partner from going on holiday with you. Have a word with his dialysis unit, they'll be able to tell you which hospitals have dialysis units who could take him and once you've booked your holiday your unit will liase with the other unit and sort out his dialysis.
One other thing, my OH has his dialysis in the evening he doesn't have to be at hospital until about 5.30pm so it may be possible for your partner to get an evening slot during the holiday, that way you'd be able to spend all day together. He could have his dialysis on the Friday as normal, go away on the Saturday, have his dialysis Mon, Wed & Fri at the holiday unit then travel back on the Saturday.
It seems to me that your partner is using emotional blackmail and that's not fair, dialysis doesn't just effect the patient it effects the whole family because your life revolves around it.Dum Spiro Spero0 -
Well as a father to 2 young children, I can say that it would be no problem if their mother took them on holiday without me. I am probably going to be working right through the kids summer holidays, and won't be able to get any time off work,(I'm a contract worker and they don't allow holidays during the shutdown period) I would miss the fun that we have when we go together, however I'd rather it was just me missing out than my kids missing out through no fault of their own. I say take the kids and if he doesn't want to be there then that's his choice.0
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Too right I'd go away without my partner.
I have done and I will do again. We're not joined at the hip.
A sign of a healthy relationship is being able to identify and help fufill the needs of your partner/family. If you and your children need to go on holiday and your partner can't/chooses not to then he needs to start thinking of the family as a whole rather than just himself and support you rather then trying to emotionally blackmail you out of going away."One day I realised that when you are lying in your grave, it's no good saying, "I was too shy, too frightened."
Because by then you've blown your chances. That's it."0 -
I would definatly have serious words with him about his behaviour its compleatly out of order to be so childish am sure he would have something to say if his children where missing out on things because of her partner ! perhaps putting it that way might make him see sense0
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Yes he is being childish by saying if you loved him you wouldn't want to go
BUT...
Since when did kids NEED to go on holiday? I've never ever been on holiday with my parents and I'm 33!
Have to say, if it was my family, I wouldn't go without my OH in those circs because I'd feel mean on him that he wouldn't be able to come with us, or if he did, he wouldn't be able to enjoy himself.
Saying that though, I wouldn't mind him going away with the kids and leaving me.
OP, how long have you been in a relationship with your partner?Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...0 -
Having thought about it since I posted earlier, he is probably still coming to terms with his illness and not seeing the long term aspect of it for you and the kids. Maybe a long and honest chat would be the best thing.“A budget is telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.” - Dave Ramsey0
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