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Would you and kids go on hoilday without partner

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  • fay144
    fay144 Posts: 796 Forumite
    I never went on holiday with my dad growing up - 3 kids on holiday (in a tent/caravan) would be his idea of hell, so he stayed at home to look after the pets. My OH and I have the odd weekend away alone.

    However, if I was you I wouldn't go this year. He has not been having treatment very long, so I can understand why the idea of having to cope with cooking/cleaning/etc on his own while feeling rubbish is still too much.

    Kids don't need to go away on holidays - you could probably find enough day trips/activities in the local area to fill a week, which they would enjoy just as much.

    Then, if the situation is ongoing in a year or so, I'd reconsider. It may just take a while for him to get comfortable with the routine of treament, and the idea of being left alone.
  • poppyolivia
    poppyolivia Posts: 2,976 Forumite
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    edited 13 April 2009 at 5:04PM
    My Dad was a farmer and hence wouldn't want to go away in summer when it was baling etc so Mum took me away on her own. TBH he wouldn't have enjoyed a relaxing beachy holiday suitable for kids anyway so was best on our own!!!!

    Are you my sister?:o My dad has had 2 holidays that I can remember and he's 58...and he's a farmer! Mum used to take us everywhere...bussing it up north etc...good days!!:j We never went abroad with her when we were wee but we do now! Dad still stays at home though!

    Thought about it for a wee while and I think since he is ill you should stay at home...if my husband went if I was ill.....nah he wouldn't do it neither would I...for a start I couldn't enjoy the holiday knowing he wasn't well....????
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  • bank_of_slate
    bank_of_slate Posts: 12,922 Forumite
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    I would look at short breaks too, Center Parcs is a fantastic place, we go twice a year.
    ...Linda xx
    It's easy to give in to that negative voice that chants "cant do it" BUT we lift each other up.
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  • kay74
    kay74 Posts: 129 Forumite
    One of the kidney charities (can't remember off top of head if NKRF maybe?) has caravans that people on dialysis can use - think may be for CAPD people but sure they'll have list of places you can use. Is he maybe scared of going somewhere else - if he's new to renal clinic then he may just be getting used to setup / nurses etc and my be nervous about going somewhere else. However, I do think he needs spoken to because (having had kidney disease following relapsing course for last 12 years) it's often my family that feel it harder than me, and I would never want them not to have a holiday as I know how hard it is for them not being able to help (IYSWIM - I'm living it whereas they're observing).
  • thriftlady_2
    thriftlady_2 Posts: 9,128 Forumite
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    edited 13 April 2009 at 7:22PM
    My husband takes our kids camping for a week in the summer hols, he goes with his sister and her kids. I don't go because I don't like camping (not that I've ever been lol, I just know I won't like it). This has never been an issue for either of us -after all if I'm unhappy on holiday everyone else will be too:rotfl:I love it actually, a whole week to myself, the house stays immaculate especially the bathroom and I get to eat what I really like when I like.

    We also have a week away altogether in a building with plumbing and electricity and stuff:D
  • My husband and son went on a weekend break without me when I was in hospital after a slipped disc. I encouraged them to go.

    It was booked and paid for, shame not to go and anyway, why should they not have the break just because I couldn't?
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  • Reds-on-Sea
    Reds-on-Sea Posts: 428 Forumite
    I'm pretty sure my partner & I would both insist that the other go away on holiday without us in that situation, BUT I'm also pretty sure that neither of us would want to, or dream of leaving the other on their own, especially if they were ill!!

    of course there's the matter of the poor kids not getting a holiday this year....

    some things are more important. To me anyways.

    Yes, he's a tiny bit selfish asking you to stay, but I think you're being more selfish wanting to have your holiday & leaving your sick husband at home alone. He's probably down in the dumps enough as it is.
  • rosie-marie
    rosie-marie Posts: 264 Forumite
    I go on holiday every year without my OH. I take my daughter with me and we have a great time. I highly recommend it as its good to have time away from each other. The thing is we do have a holiday together as a family too - so its not quite the same thing, but certainly not something to feel guilty about.

    Also my mum goes on two holidays - one with my dad and one without. I think its a really healthy thing to do. But that is just my opinion. Of course your own circumstances/relationship is different so only you can decide if its the right thing to do. Good luck.
  • dieselhead
    dieselhead Posts: 599 Forumite
    I think the difference for me is that the OP's husband is ill and if it were me then I think I would feel very guilty about leaving him at home if he were unwell.

    However from what others have said it sounds as if it is very possible for him to go on holiday home or abroad and continue with his dialysis, and the husband knows this. It sounds like he won't be able to join in with the holiday 100% but while he is having treatment his kids could be doing kids activities or in the pool, I really don't think he would be missing out. This makes him sound a little selfish, if possible a change of scenery is great and it sounds like given a little extra organisation there is no reason why the whole family shouldn't go and enjoy a holiday.
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  • UKTigerlily
    UKTigerlily Posts: 4,702 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts
    A friend of mine runs a business providing holidays top people on dialysis, I think they only deal with this, let me know if you'd like putting in touch with her, maybe a chat would reassure him? Maybe he's worried about having it abroad or elsewhere?
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