Something rotten in paradise

Silverbird

poppyolivia wrote: »

I'd reply to the advert with a false name and meet him!

Gotta say, this idea sounds fantastic.

On a more serious note, I felt sick after reading this.

I'm afraid there's only one option - he's got to go.

Regardless of whether or not he's actually cheated already, the man has went onto these sites specifically asking for $ex that doesn't intefere with his normal life. What kind of lowlife would do that? If he had problems or he felt there was something lacking, then his first instinct should be to talk it through with you.

I can't even imagine how difficult this must be because I'm married myself (2.5 years) and deeply in love and the thought horrifies me, but I do know that I would be absolutely appalled and disgusted and all my trust for him would vanish. I would leave him, despite the fact that I know it would be incredibly difficult to do.

I really feel for you and I do so hope you can find somebody who makes you happy and keeps you happy in the future.

suki1964

GucciMane wrote: »

Its the truth. Im not like you guys who try and divert the situation. The answer is short and concise i will guarantee it will work.

Wonders what the answer is

RedBern

Quote:
Originally Posted by GucciMane
Its the truth. Im not like you guys who try and divert the situation. The answer is short and concise i will guarantee it will work.

Wonders what the answer is

The answer is 'short and concise' - duh

flikkerty

Just ask him, is there any point of going through any set up meetings just to prove a point? I wouldn't bring myself down to that level of secrecy and underhand tactics. Think of all that anxiety it would put you through - and for what? A massive row when you do see him.
Don't bottle it up though.

It is easy for us to comment, we aren't in the situation, we can only speculate what we would do in the same situation and we are all different. Don't punish yourself, do what feels right for you. At the end of the day everyone on here feels for you. Hope you are ok?

Terigirl

Well, I confronted him over the weekend. I was very surprised - there was no big 'guilty' explosion of temper, he just hung his head down and talked about it with me calmly. He admits that he has a '!!!!!! problem' (ie that he looks at it all the time even when he isn't up for sex) and that the signing onto flirting sites came from surfing these sites.

I was crying and asking him why he would do that to me - why was he advertising for someone else - and he said he didn't know, he just wanted to see if anyone would respond to him... he admitted it... I'm gutted.

He did say that he would never have actually met up with anyone, but I'm just not sure I can believe him... I suppose he could have denied it, it's better that he admitted it maybe... I don't know. I'm so confused.

foreign_correspondent

hmm, I am not sure I would believe him either... if someone had got back to him saying they lived down the road, sent some saucy pics or whatever, and let him know they were ready, willing and able, he would have just said 'oops, sorry, no, I ought to have said, I am married"...

Maybe he would have, I dont know, but once you start going down that route I think it might be hard to turn back. Has ayone responded to him so far?

hot.chick

well done for confronting him, it can't hve been easy to keep it inside all tis time - I know I'd have done it on the day - I can't keep things like that hidden for so long!!!

I'd have to read every emial he's sent, it would make me feel sick but I know this is what I woud need to to - I'd have to know every detail.

I know this isn't for everyone - but I'd just need to know.....

Good luck - I really do hope you get it sorted out x x x

Curious_George_2

Terigirl wrote: »

Well, I confronted him over the weekend. I was very surprised - there was no big 'guilty' explosion of temper, he just hung his head down and talked about it with me calmly. He admits that he has a '!!!!!! problem' (ie that he looks at it all the time even when he isn't up for sex) and that the signing onto flirting sites came from surfing these sites.

I was crying and asking him why he would do that to me - why was he advertising for someone else - and he said he didn't know, he just wanted to see if anyone would respond to him... he admitted it... I'm gutted.

He did say that he would never have actually met up with anyone, but I'm just not sure I can believe him... I suppose he could have denied it, it's better that he admitted it maybe... I don't know. I'm so confused.

thats the thing, you dont have to decide wether you believe him or not,
he has broken your trust and now has to live with the consequences of that

wether you decide to leave him or try and forgive, lets face it stuff like this doesnt get forgotten... you cant trust him now no matter what he says
you have to think about wether you can live like that,

ive told my OH that should he ever feel like cheating he may as well leave anyway because if he breaks my trust in him i would be unbearable, checking up on him all the time, trying to catch him out again etc

swiss69

!!!!!! is an addiction like any other and an addict needs help to stop the cycle. It is so readily available now that many many men have this addiction and most of their partners wouldnt have a clue.(I know this just by knowing what friends look at!. Most stop at looking rather than advertising on websites but I can see that some would do that just to see what the response might be. Whether they would then go on and do anything about it is open to debate. I suspect that most would had they gone that far.

Check the history on your mans computer and if it has nothing on it you can be fairly sure he will be looking at !!!!!!. Another tell tale sign is the lack of intimicy that men show when they are engrossed in their secret life. If your man wants you less and is withdrawing from you, you can bet that 8 times out of ten he will have a !!!!!! addiction.

Curious_George_2

swiss69 wrote: »

If your man wants you less and is withdrawing from you, you can bet that 8 times out of ten he will have a !!!!!! addiction.

sorry but there is no way thats right,
there can be a million reasons why someone might distance themselves from a partner, and not all of them are rabid !!!!!! addicts