Mothers...what would you do?

kelda_shelton

Other thought...

Offer to help her do a car boot or ebay sales to raise some of the cash. I bet there are lots of toys your OH's little brother doesn't play with anymore that she could get sold!

Other thought - what about Disneyland PARIS?

Swans1912

kelda_shelton wrote: »

Other thought...

Offer to help her do a car boot or ebay sales to raise some of the cash. I bet there are lots of toys your OH's little brother doesn't play with anymore that she could get sold!

Other thought - what about Disneyland PARIS?

Not the dreaded DLP!!! Went there in September and wasn't a big fan at all!
Oh yes, i'm sure OH's LB has more toys than ToysRus :rotfl: I will indeed offer to help with this if she would like to do it, once again I hadn't even considered that!

Pee

Actually, I wouldn't give up smoking and/or drinking to attend anyones wedding.

It is great that you have chosen the magic destination for you to get married, and I hope you have a lovely and very special day. If you want your future mother-in-law to be there, you are going to have to buy her ticket. This is because her priorities in life are different to yours. It may not be her idea of the perfect wedding. that doesn't matter. It is yours, and your DF is happy with it.

She choses how to spend her - presumably rather meagre - money and you choose how to spend yours. Sorry. You can't change that.

You will probably find that when you have children, she spoils them, too.

Swans1912

Pee wrote: »

Actually, I wouldn't give up smoking and/or drinking to attend anyones wedding.

It is great that you have chosen the magic destination for you to get married, and I hope you have a lovely and very special day. If you want your future mother-in-law to be there, you are going to have to buy her ticket. This is because her priorities in life are different to yours. It may not be her idea of the perfect wedding. that doesn't matter. It is yours, and your DF is happy with it.

She choses how to spend her - presumably rather meagre - money and you choose how to spend yours. Sorry. You can't change that.

You will probably find that when you have children, she spoils them, too.

Thank you for your honesty. I must ask though, assuming you have children, would you really nor give up drinking/smoking (or even cut back a bit) in order for you to be able to afford to attend your child's wedding? Honestly? I know everyone's different so I suppose really theres no right or wrong answer

hendersonb

I never thought about using clubcard vouchers - I'm sure you could save up quite a few in 2 years. Give your MIL one of the key fobs and you could use the card to buy your shopping/petrol. I'm sure if you made tesco your only place to buy stuff between you for 2 years you could pay a large part of the trip

veruccasalt

gibboelli wrote: »

It's your wedding, do just what you please. If she doesnt want to try her best to save up for it then seeing her son get married isnt very important to her. So stuff her!

No matter what, NEVER compromise on what you and your fiance want just for the sake of making life a little easier for someone else. It's your day so have whatever you like!

What a charming response.

Violetta_2

Just a warning if someone suggested I sold my daughters toys and gave up the few luxuries I had to make my miserable life on benefits bareable and then scrimp and save for 2 years to go on someone elses idea of a holiday (even if it was my daughters elder brothers wedding not that I think if she had 1 he'd be like that) I might be tempted to tell them where to go.
I am so sorry if this sounds harsh but it does seem like you are being very harsh on your partners mother. It can't be easy being a single mum on benefits with a 6 yr old.

veruccasalt

Violetta wrote: »

Just a warning if someone suggested I sold my daughters toys and gave up the few luxuries I had to make my miserable life on benefits bareable and then scrimp and save for 2 years to go on someone elses idea of a holiday (even if it was my daughters elder brothers wedding not that I think if she had 1 he'd be like that) I might be tempted to tell them where to go.
I am so sorry if this sounds harsh but it does seem like you are being very harsh on your partners mother. It can't be easy being a single mum on benefits with a 6 yr old.

The more I think about this, the more I agree with this view point.

You may well have a dream of what you would like (and luckily your OH goes along with you), but you are asking way to much of your guests. One of my University friends got married in Finland, and expected all of us to give up our scant annual leave and hundreds of pounds just to adore her for the day.

Needless to say we very politely declined her invitation, sent a generous gift and had the holiday we wanted later in the year.

I dont think its fair to call her selfish-she could probably level the same accusation at you.....:rolleyes:

kelda_shelton

Nobody is making her future MIL attend - shes just trying to think of ways she could...

tattoed_bum

my best friend is a single mum on benefits and i know that no matter how hard she tried she would'nt be able to afford this .
i know that by the time she has paid her gas and electric ,food for her and her son she is lucky to have £10 left to last the rest of the week never mind enough to save anything and yes she does smoke the £10 she has left she spends on this .
that may seem selfish to you but she has no partner ,no social life ,this is her only treat .
it is a lot to ask of someone to spend hundreds if not thousands to attend a wedding .
she is probably a lot more upset about this than she may be showing you