Support for people with Depression

shazrobo

hi cb2, your story of the women in holloway running the wing gives me hope for the future.,
i really think my sons anger stems from the fact that they are different to others, (they have autistic tendancies, and dont seem to be able to socialise very well, they don't really understand rules, they have severe adhd, and are unable to concentrate, or keep still, and causes them frustration, as well as annoying others, they have poor co-ordination, and learning disabilities), and as such are seen as easy targets by bullies, who seem to target them.
especially now that they are older, they dont socialise or attend any after school activities, the school hols will be a nightmare, because they will be around me 24/7.
they are angry cos they have never had a father in there lives, to do boy things eg fishing etc. they get picked on for not having a dad, when obviously they have they just dont see him, through there own choice as well as his.
they are very jealous of each other, and never get much individual time with me, without the other being present, and they just dont seem to get along.
on the plus side, most people who have met them have commented how polite and well behaved they were, like last night when we went out for a meal, their manners were brilliant.
dont know what the future holds for either of them, but hope and pray, they will be able to live happy and fulfilled lives,

shaz x

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
And welcome to Fur-iday!
It's really lovely to see peeps posting again, although I am sorry that the reasons usually aren't too good, iykwim?
Having said that, our UN ambassador, ettie b, has sent word that we do have to meet our EEC quota of depression for us to be able to keep the title of our thread - and inspections are imminent! So if we could try and keep the overall level of happiness at say '5' or below, we'll be fine.
It's not funny really, I know - I'd bet my last bag of catnip that there isn't one person here who wouldn't do everything possible if it meant they would be well again. That's not to say that we have to be miserable all the time and that we can't enjoy anything in our lives - mental ill health doesn't work like that, does it?
I like reading the positive experiences because the positives give us the chance to think, ''What if...?'', and as people on here are proving, it really can happen to you. (I say ''you'' 'cos I'm a lost cause! )
But somehow it means more, makes it feel possible and gives hope, when someone who has really struggled, given up hope and shared their experiences on here, is suddenly starting to see some happiness and light in their days.
Umm...Thank you for listening and please don't forget to stop by the gift shop on your way out!

Sorry guys, I think I'm having one of those days!


Better do some reading back and some Tiffing I guess.
I've got to keep a beady eye on that sazzerty though! Methinks she and the gilly badgie are heading south on holiday and she'll probably try and sneak off work early if I don't watch her!
I really must get a life.
Be kind to yourself, guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi katie-tulip!
Hello sweetie - how are you feeling today?


And it's lovely to see you posting again too, katie-tulip. Yep, you have been a busy girl, what with all the excitement of your brother's wedding and the anticipation of the carnival coming up too. But even so, my Tiffy radar was going off over you, because you have been so quiet. *Anyone not yet familiar with the Tiffy radar, please ask sazzy!*
I thought you might be having a bit of a blip, angel and I did shout out to you a couple of times on here, just to let you know I hadn't forgotten about you at all.

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling low hunnie - I bet it's all down to that gilly-brocky-badgie burrowing around underneath your roots! It has nothing whatsoever to do with the lack of smarties issued to the thread recently, okay?! Being a caring Tiffster,, here's a blue smartie just for you - - just don't tell anyone, ok?

You bring smiles to so many here, miss tulip and you must rest and look after yourself, okay? It's been a long time since your last blip so hang in there hunnie, because things will even out again for you. It's really frustrating when all you want to do is feel better but you just can't seem to throw those low feelings off. You will get through this though, katie.
Besides you've got to get well soon or I'll have to blame sazzy for everything instead of just most things!
Be kind to yourself hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi lm!:hello:
It's good to see you posting again, hun.
How are you, angel? Free from the glandular fever yet? I know you weren't feeling too good and were worrying about whether you might have swine 'flu. (God forbid!) Don't you worry any more, anni. If my ex-hubby hasn't got it, you'll be fine! He had the longest case of it ever recorded - it's just a shame that it took 14 years of being with him to get a diagnosis from the divorce court! Just kidding, we are quite friendly now on the few occasions we get to talk. I'm not a bitter man-hater - in fact, I'm waiting to go to sazzy for training on how to become a man-eater!RAWR!

It sounds like everything is going really well with you and sam hun - another source of inspiration for us. Just think, this time last year this would all have felt like an impossible dream and yet here you are, living it. You look a hundred times happier. It was so nice to see a piccie of you and sam as your avatar - he looks like a sweetheart.
Your haircut looked lovely by the way - it really suits you. Isn't the similarity between you and moo just a little bit scarey?
Anyhoo, I hope you'll feel better soon anni. Keep us posted on your latest adventures.
Safe journeys, hun.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

hayley11

Hi :hello:

Is it ok if I sneak back in? I haven't posted in here for a long time but I just feel like I need to talk to people who understand what i'm going through and you're all so lovely and kind.

The last few weeks have just been so awful, i've been having a lot of problems with my OH, we came so close to splitting up, I've got other health problems, and now my mum has fallen out with me, over absolutely nothing and she made me feel so bad about myself. I'm finding it very hard to see the point, in anything.

Even though my OH is partly to blame for me feeling so bad, I feel guilty that he's having to put up with me being like this again. I know i'm such hard work, especially at night and he has to be up for work and I just feel awful for being such a burden.

Everyday is hard work, such hard work, I didn't get out of bed til gone 12 today, I just lay there thinking about what I should be doing and I just couldn't make myself move. Because what's the point?

I'm not on any meds at the moment, was taking some for a while earlier in the year but they didn't agree with me and I just stopped taking them. Didn't really want to go back on meds. I'm waiting for an appointment for CBT but been waiting a couple of weeks now and I still haven't heard anything. I wanted to go see my doctor today but can't get in to see him til Tuesday.

I just want to feel normal, get a job again and just live my life instead of feeling like this. Nobody I know understands, they all just think i'm faking so I don't have to work, not my boyfriend but everybody else. I thought my mum was on my side but it turns out she's not. I just feel so lonely.

Sorry for rambling

newlywed

Hi hayley,

Everyone on here is lovely. You're not really alone. We're here too

I know what you mean about the guilt - I was signed off work for two weeks (just gone back today) I felt guilty for being signed off, guilty for staying in bed most of the days, guilty for not wanting to cook dinner. Mine is coz of bereavement but they are very similar (and the bereavement might have triggered depression on top of that tho).

Thankfully OH has been really good which has helped loads, but I still feel guilty that I've been at home most days and only just manged to do one tiny job indoors, when he's been at work for hours.


I'm back at work today - still not sure I'm really ready but surviving so far Had panic attacks yesterday, worrying that being back at work would mean the feelings of not being able to cope would come flooding back along with the feeling that I was just struggling to exist and not really living, and that I would end up crying in the toilets at work again. I just figured I wouldn't really know unless I tried - and friday is a good day as that's only a one day week

Well I'm not sobbing in the loo's yet but don't really want to be here.

After reading a book on depression I realised that I felt guilty for not be able to cope, guilty if I didn't cook OH a healthy dinner, guilty if we ran out of things at home (coz I do all the shopping), guilty if I sat and spent time on things I wanted to do at weekends instead of doing housework etc, guilty if money was running low and I bought some food specifically for me and my lunches - instead of spending it all on OH and the step kids.

So for now, I've had enough of feeling guilty. It's not like I've done anything really wrong is it?

It's time to spend a bit of time on me, a teensy bit of money invested in me. Coz if I don't look after me, then I'm not going to be in a mentally fit state to look after anyone else.

So that's my only "should" that I'm going to allow myself to think about - I should spend a little bit of time each day looking after ME and doing what I want!


Can you manage to go to the library and get some books on depression and CBT? Maybe they will help a teeny bit while you wait for the CBT appointments?

Also moodgym is a website for a tiny bit of online CBT. http://moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
And it's linked site is http://ecouch.anu.edu.au/

hayley11

Hi Newlywed, well done on going back to work, must have been really hard

I'm so glad somebody else understands the guilt. It's awful isn't it? And when I say things about it to my OH, he just tells me not to be silly but I should be doing more, I've done nothing today apart from make myself a brew and some ravioli.

I've tried reading lots of books about depression and things like that but I can't concentrate on them to be honest

I know if I was physically fit (I have a lot of problems with my back) I wouldn't feel this bad. I do have good days but when I try to do things, my back gets bad and then it gets me down again. I just feel really trapped at the moment, like there's no chance of me ever feeling better.

How can I start feeling happy when my own mum won't even talk to me? It makes me so sad I just feel like giving up. I don't see the point. I thought she was the one person I could rely on no matter what. She won't talk to me for weeks, if not months now. I don't know why she does this to me. It's not the first time she's fallen out with me over nothing. She relies on me as well though and she'll miss having me to talk to but I told her I want an apology before I'll speak ot her again and I know I won't get one.

newlywed

I know how hard it is when a parent won't talk to you. My dad didn't talk to me for ages because he didn't agree with my choice of husband :rolleyes:

I had to sit down and figure that your parents aren't there forever, that's not how life goes. At some point you have to take decisions for you and not for them. You have to grow up and let go and live YOUR life, not what they think your life ought to be.

But included in that is the fact that my dad has now died and I'm relieved we were back on speaking terms although it was never quite the same. If he had died at the point when he would hardly speak to me, my guilt would be impossible to live with.

Why not give your mum a little while to calm down and then either write her a card, or speak to her. Tell her you were hurt, that you thought she was the one person you could rely on and you really need her support.

Sometimes an apology won't come and in time, if you continue not speaking, you might wonder whether an apology was really all that you thought.

LadyMorticia

Heya Hayley.:wave:

I don't really have any advice for you but my mum and I hardly speak. I don't mind it that much to be honest as there is a lot of bad history between us.

*hugs*

beachbeth

Feel awful today. Got period pain, stinking headache, runny nose, sore throat, bad cough and just want to go back to bed. Just done my ironing and think I will wash my hair and then go lie down.

Theres a lot needs doing on our house - need new radiator in our bedroom and it needs redecorating, kitchen needs redecorating and we need a new carpet in the lounge as well as a new front door. Its hard to get my OH going when it comes to DIY but we've really got to get on to it. The fact that its raining doesn't help either. Theres water dripping into our bedroom now too.

Fed up.