Support for people with Depression

Louise22

Big hugs to everyone, especially to crisp £ note xxxx

I was feeling quite positive until my mum went into hospital on Friday after having a heart attack - she also has the first signs of emphysema. So unfair, my mum does not deserve this Don't know what I will do if anything happens to her and this is killing me

Crisp_£_note

Big hugz to Miro and Lou

I havent called home since Saturday :eek: Couldnt face it. Actually I often skip Sundays, and I know Mum was going back to her sisters (from my brothers) then she didnt know where after than!

Will call her either later today or tomorrow (having a good day today, I know mum needs my support but if she bursts my happy bubble I will be so down all week) I am expecting the 'real' mum to be talking again, full of woe and complaints about my brother and her undecisiveness and confusion, so not really looking foward to calling but know I must.

Spoke to MIL when she poped round the other day about it all, she said it sounds like my Brother is 'passing the buck' as hes had enough and doesnt know what to do with her anymore. Kind of the way I feel about the whole thing, but that makes me feel selfish as well which brings on the guilt and that pulls me down again a bit more! MIL said to go back to GP and tell them I need help now, emotional support etc. Also go back and see a different GP about my weight and then the diabetes nurse to get back on track. I have to remember to think about me as well as others apparantly.

Hope everybody is having a good week. Stay strong. Thanks for reading and caring

geminilady

Louise22 wrote: »

Big hugs to everyone, especially to crisp £ note xxxx

I was feeling quite positive until my mum went into hospital on Friday after having a heart attack - she also has the first signs of emphysema. So unfair, my mum does not deserve this Don't know what I will do if anything happens to her and this is killing me

Sorry to hear about your mum, any news today?lots of people recover from heart attacks and go on to live many years so try not to worry too much.By the way if your mum is in intensive care she will not be allowed flowers until she is on a normal ward i did not know this and spent a lot on an enormous bouquet which was wasted.

Miroslav

Thanks shaz and I agree; worst kind of pain is toothache

Sorry to hear Louise. How is he now?

Crisp - Sorry to read of your concerns right now How has it been since you posted?

Hi geminilady :wave:

:wave: everybody else

The only person on this site I have met (before he joined) has received a nasty PM. Some horrible people out there

sal-ad_daze

Hi everyone,
I'm so glad I've found this thread - I wish I'd found it a year ago!
I'll try and explain my situation briefly, but it may not work!!!
I was diagnosed with depression about 2 years ago after I literally lost it at home, shrieked like a banshee threw my phone across the room and stormed out. I returned very shortly after a long walk in the rain but was persuaded to go to the GP. He agreed I was depressed and referred me to the councellor within the practise, I was able to tell her why I blew a fuse. My mother in law died suddenly whilst on holiday with us in Spain and I dealt with all the procedures, my poor husband was in shock. I also had to make sure our teenage son (who was with us) was ok. We flew back home the day after she died and left her there to follow on, I then took charge of arranging the funeral. 8 months later my younger sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer, she was a divorced mum of 4 children and again I had to take charge dividing my time between my home and hers. The children's father decided he'd take the children (against my better judgement) and I had no say in that. When she died he refused to let them come over to help arrange the funeral, the vicar had to go see them (about an hour's drive away). They turned up for the funeral in everyday 'play out' clothes, not even smart school uniform and were whisked away as soon as the service was over. My m-i-l had left my husband her house and we managed to find a buyer for her house and our own to enable us to move to a better area. My daughter was away at uni during this time and also had to deal with the death (from cancer) of her bf's mum. Seeing the councillor did help, it enabled me to talk - you see I don't get the chance to do that. I am sure my darling husband has undiagnosed Asperger's syndrome so finds emotional stuff almost impossible to deal with, he just can't understand what you're trying to tell him. All my old friends have moved away over the years so I have no one I can go and see and chat too.
Now the next bit! 2 years ago my darling son (aged 18) broke the news to us that his girlfriend was pregnant, we didn't hit the roof, no point we just helped him cope. He had changed school at 16 and moved to a local Grammar School for his A levels, he absolutely hated it. In fact he didn't talk to anyone for the first term! He didn't do well in his exams (partly due to the baby, partly due to hating the school and of course partly due to himself) but managed to gain a place at Uni (not one on his UCAS form) but local - he wanted to stay local for the baby. Unfortunately he then found out his girlfriend had been cheating on him and there followed an acrimonious break up. He went away for a camping weekend over August Bank Holiday and came home ill (we think there was something wrong with the water) this was closely followed by flu (thankfully not swine flu) so he was too ill to attend freshers at Uni. Then followed the Student finance debacle and his money didn't come through until after Christmas - he was living in shared accommodation and we were having to sort the rent (oh disabled, living on his pension - more stress). It all became too much for him and he became severely depressed. I was now having to cope with his depression and mine and my poor oh just doesn't understand it at all!
I thank God for his lovely daughter who kept him going but he was going through a really dark time and I was really scared for him, the Dr prescribed him tablets but he has bladder problems and the medication had side effects that affected the bladder so he stopped taking them. He is feeling stronger now and isn't as 'dark' (do you know what I mean?), he has been told he can't repeat his year at Uni so he's now on benefit (used to be incapacity) as the GP thinks he's not ready to work just yet. He's looking to get a job around Christmas and then maybe next year look at the OU and i'm hopefull for him.
My daughter got married to her lovely boyfriend in August and promptly emigrated!
My way of coping is to go on 'automatic pilot' and this is what I've been doing. I didn't enjoy the wedding as I went 'automatic' I knew if I cried I wouldn't stop, I did the same on dd's last evening with us.
I'm glad I've found you because I know I can come on here and have a rant or a sob or even just a waffle and it will help get things off my chest.
Sorry, that wasn't very brief was it? I really just wanted to say 'hi, can i join in'?
Sal

Miroslav

Hi Sal :wave: didn't want to read and run; so welcome. Anyone can join in.

It sounds as though you've had a tough time.

Do you have any kind of counselling at the moment? I couldn't see anything in there about current counselling and my head is not with it this morning.

I'm sure when other posters read your post they may be able to respond better. I didn't want to run without any acknowledgement.

sal-ad_daze

Hi Miroslav,

No, not at the moment. I had one on one counselling for a few months and felt able to try 'alone' so to speak but that was before ds became ill. I did ask at the surgery if I could see the counsellor again but because it had been more than 3 months since my last session I had to be re-referred and it would be group counselling which I'm not confident about. I'm a very private person (usually!) and don't like airing my problems in public, I felt it would just make me feel worse having to do this so I didn't go for it.

Horasio

My son has plumbed to new levels of stupidity

My mum was paying half his rent so we could use his flat when he is out at work in the day. He was given a laptop as a present as well. He had a paying lodger from Christmas to May except they weren't paying. He said he was happy to not have another one. We thought we had the flat sorted then he said he was moving in another lodger. She gives him nothing and doesn't work. My mother has given him nothing since the lodger moved in.

We are so upset because he didn't discuss it with us. I was looking forward to using the place but now we can't because she is in all day and wants to sponge.

How do we get rid of her?

I am also upset that when I was younger, I wasn't allowed to make mistakes and certainly not done the stupid things our son did. He gets away with murder but I can't even have an off day.

I feel like a nobody. When I am out, people don't look where they are going and expect me to move out of their way and are abusive when I won't move or when I am upset at their rudeness. I feel so angry at the double standards. When I am angry I'm wrong, when I am happy, I am wrong. I can't win. I hate people being so rude when I am being nice and hate the fact they are abusive when I am upset by their rudeness.

I feel controlled by my mother and my OH. I detest them for taking advantage of my good nature.

I am so angry at the double standards.

I want to run away from my toxic family and hide from the world.

Horasio

sal-ad_daze wrote: »

Hi Miroslav,

No, not at the moment. I had one on one counselling for a few months and felt able to try 'alone' so to speak but that was before ds became ill. I did ask at the surgery if I could see the counsellor again but because it had been more than 3 months since my last session I had to be re-referred and it would be group counselling which I'm not confident about. I'm a very private person (usually!) and don't like airing my problems in public, I felt it would just make me feel worse having to do this so I didn't go for it.

Group counselling is OK if you can trust them. I tend to find there is one person who reminds me of someone who hurt me in the past and transfer my feelings into them.

I guess it is good to discuss what this person raises in you so long as it isn't directed directly at them.

Horasio

Miroslav wrote: »

Finally, i've had my tooth out after 7 weeks of really bad pain. Went to an emergency dentist who was really nice and I didn't feel a thing and it took 20 minutes, inclusive of going in, explaining the situation, an examination, injections, extraction and clean up, this after my dentist who was due to do it the same day cancelled me - again! So I phoned dental helpline and said it had to be done as I wasn't going a night more in pain and i'd had no more than 5 hours sleep per night for 7 weeks, mainly 2 or 3 hours per night. Got an emergency appointment for 40 minutes later at a dental access centre.

Earlier than morning - 5.30am, I went to A&E as pain was so bad and was given some ibuprogen gel and some oromorph for the pain. For once someone listened to me.

So, I may be depressed, but I can start posting here again now i'm more focused.

I hope everyone is as well as can be and i'll try and visit regular.

I am glad it is sorted. How you stood 7 weeks of tooth pain is amazing. I had tooth pain and I HAD to sort it and went through the Gestapo dental phone system to get it. The people I dealt with were evil. When you are in pain, you want sympathy. They insist you talk to them and get nasty when you say how you feel.

Combined with the pain and how they treated me, I was ready to end it all.

Thankfully, I was seen and it was sorted.