Support for people with Depression

newlywed

Yeah I know it's a huge step for him - he's often of the opinion he's healthy and fit so why would he need a dr or pills? I'm so proud of him that he's actually booked to see a dr (that's where I chickened out so many times before).

I think he seems a little brighter at the moment knowing there is a explanation for how he's been feeling and that there may be a way forward, out of it all.

I just hope the dr isn't too pushy about him getting pills.

GotToChange

I am aware that some of what I have said may seem as though I am not understanding the weight of very real depression and that suggestions such as mine could be regarded as trivial and unhelpful, although I hope not. This is not coming from someone who has no knowledge or experience (and that's all I'll say) of depression.

The easiest and hardest thing can be to "give in" to it, be overwhelmed and before you know it, you are so far down, it's impossible to get up. One thing may be to try to externalise - look at yourself from the outside in - in a grateful way. Sometimes, simple can work - overcomplicating, over-thinking and unintentionally wallowing can't possibly help.

beachbeth

possley wrote: »

Hi all.
on the surface I get on ok with my Mum, but she can be quite critical of what I do and is short tempered. I think she is disappointed I am not ‘making more’ of myself which I can understand. When I was very very down last summer she made things a lot worse with comments like ‘pull yourself together’ ‘stop being lazy’ etc, which just set me off into floods of tears etc. I don’t have the money etc to move out as I am a student, and no one to live with anyway. My parents have been really good to me and I have always had everything I wanted.

I can identify with you so much. My own parents are well off and I wanted for nothing growing up. However, my mum was also very critical and I couldn't do right for doing wrong most of the time. I had quite a lonely childhood because I wasn't allowed to mix with the local kids or go out to play in the way most kids were in those days. My mum then wondered why I didn't grow up to be a confident, outgoing person who perhaps runs her own business.

Don't let the fact that your parents may have looked after you well and spent money on you make you feel guilty that you are a disappointment to them. They are probably like my parents in that they aren't there for you emotionally.

Please go back to your doctor - that is what they are there for and what they are being paid for. You still aren't feeling well so go back and explain to them how bad you feel and see what course of action they think you should follow now. You are not wasting your doctor's time - your mental wellbeing is very important.

Depression makes you feel tired so tell your mum this is one of the symptoms and you can't help it. I used to tell my mum that it was my anti-d's that made me need more sleep because I think she thought depression was a made up illness!

Hugs for you and I hope you are feeling better soon. xxx ((()))

boo666

Sazbo wrote: »

Welcome and thanks for sharing your story, boo666 and good advice too, re: writing things down for the doc. Following on from what you and CB2 have said - I am fortunate in that I never suffered abuse. But even so, I can fully identify with what CB2 said about the need to release the pain that gets bottled up, for whatever reason. I know I've said this before, but counselling was a godsend to me - it was the first time anyone ever said to me, "It's ok for you to feel the way you are feeling. And here is a safe space - your space - in which you can talk about how you feel, when you're ready.." That's when the healing process started for me. It's not a quick fix but then depression doesn't happen overnight either. It takes time.

Sazzy x

thanks for that sazbo..

i did go to counselling but it did not work for me {not saying that it does not work for others} so my doctor is making me a appointment to go and see my local mental health team.
she thinks that because i had years of abuse and did not have it resolved when i was younger it might well of done some long term damage.
it does help to know that there are other people out there with the same problems and most do find it hard to even think about going to see a doctor, but now i can see the help is there and i wish i had seen this years ago as my life could of been so much better from a early age.
on the advice of my doctor i have started a long distance collage course that i can work on for the next 12 months at my own pace and this seems to help alot, when i find myself starting to tick i get the course work out and get wrighting.
the doctor also said that it was a very good idea to write things down eg keeping a diary of your day to day life and then when i go back to her or to the mental health team they can read further into things.

joblessummer12

hi everyone. havent posted for a few days because havent really had the energy too, just trying to deal with the day to day. However i had a lovely weekend just gone as my bf took me to the Zoo and for dinner and then on sun i went for a bbq, which allowed to catch up with friends.

Beth-congratulations on the birth of your nephew...hope mum and baby are well.

Newlywed-your OH has taken such a big step to say he needs help. i just hope he'll have a supportive GP that will take on board what he has to say to work with him to feel better.

Plushroom - good to hear you were able to talk frankly with your partner about what your going through, because it can be feel lonely to have no support at all. It also sounds like your taking very positive steps to getting well again, which i know can be hard when you don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. Keep going and you will get through.

Boo - Welcome! and thanks for sharing you story as it takes alot to do. I know you said counselling didnt work for you, as it didn't work for me either. but having psychotherapy has helped me. It is also aimed at dealing with past issues and how they are affecting you today. Good luck with your course!

Possley - Welcome! thanks for sharing how your feeling, you arent alone hun. i was just wondering have you talked to your uni about how your feeling? as they are usually very supportive and help lessen the uni pressures for you. also going back to see your doctor is a good idea, AD's are often hit and miss as im trying my 4th lot, but don't give up, you will get through this.

hoping everyone else is doing ok xx

newlywed

Can anyone tell me the differences between counselling, cbt and psychotherapy???

System

newlywed wrote: »

Can anyone tell me the differences between counselling, cbt and psychotherapy???

hey, i'm going to attempt to answer your post!

Ok, counselling is a bit of a broad term as it can include CBT in can also include Psychodymanic therapy. Its generally used to refer to one of the "talking therapies"n though.

I'm stealing the next bit from the NHS website)
Psychodynamic-During psychodynamic therapy, a therapist will help a person consider how their personality and life experiences influence their current thoughts, feelings, relationships and behaviour. This understanding enables them to deal with difficult situations more successfully.

CBT-CBT is a talking therapy that is based around the idea that the way a person thinks about a situation affects the way that they act. In turn, a person’s actions influence the way they think and feel. It is therefore necessary to change both the act of thinking (cognition) and behaviour at the same time.
The NHS is using CBT more frequently, particularly for treating common conditions, such as depression and anxiety. CBT courses are usually short-term, for example, between six and 24 one-hour sessions.

So in short "normal" counselling tends to be psychodynamic and retrospective (what happened in the past to cause how you are feeling) and CBT is focused on there here and now, and your thoughts and how they affect your behaviour.

Psychotheraphy tends to be either of the above though more often a psychotherapist may be a psychiatrist, psychologist or other mental health professional who has had further specialist training in psychotherapy (as opposed to just a counsellor or other therapist)

Hope that helps a bit!

~*Plushroom*~

joblessummer12 wrote: »

Plushroom - good to hear you were able to talk frankly with your partner about what your going through, because it can be feel lonely to have no support at all. It also sounds like your taking very positive steps to getting well again, which i know can be hard when you don't even want to get out of bed in the mornings. Keep going and you will get through.

Thanks hun, I really hadn't wanted to do it. I've always gotten through depression on my own with a little help from a GP. But he did keep pushing and it all came out and I'm glad, it's one less person that I feel i have to put on a happy face for when I can't bear to.

I'd say he's gotten the seriousness of it seeing as he called 13 times today just to talk to me - of course due to the time difference from here to his base it meant that I was having lunch and nowhere near my phone. If he'd just done as he said and e-mailed telling me when he'd attempt to call this could all have been averted :rolleyes: Oh well, it's still nice to have a couple of voice messages from him telling me he loves me. Once I get more credit I'm going to use the voice record function so that I can copy them to my laptop - that way I'll always be able to listen to his voice even when he and I can't call. Makes me sound like a soppy git but his voice really does help, after talking for 2 hours on sunday I got the best nights sleep I've had in a long time. Not great, certainly not what most get, but still good.

Also, lucky you, I love zoos. Which one did you go to?

boo666

thank you for all the hellos from everyone :j

joblessummer12

newlywed wrote: »

Can anyone tell me the differences between counselling, cbt and psychotherapy???

CBT - this looks at how we think (cognition) and what we do (behaviour). It also just tends to focus on the hear and now problems and how to deal with them, rather than the causes or past issues. But is away of talking about how you feel and how your actions can affect those feelings. It breaks a problem down into smaller manageable chunks for one to deal with, so that you can change your thoughts and behaviours towards it. it is also a very active therapy as you are given "homework" to do between sessions.

You can read more about this from the royal college of psyciatrists here: http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/cbt.aspx

Counselling - allows you to talk about any area of you life, thoughts and feelings. you lead the session and not so much the counsellor but they do guide you (this is what i found when i was having it). By listening the counsellor can understand how you view things and try and clarify things, maybe even giving a different viewpoint. But always helping you to come to a decision rather than outright giving advice.

More on this at the british assosciation for counselling and psychotherapy here: http://www.bacp.co.uk/education/whatiscounselling.html

Psychotherapy - is another talking therapy between the therapist and client, the experience i have in particular is of psychodynamic therapy. Which focuses on past experiences and how they are affecting us today and therefore allowing you to gain a better understanding of your feelings. but they are other forms such as behavioural, and family and marital. i also find that psychotherapy is more longer term than the other two, which often has a set number of sessions your given. for example when i had counselling the set number of sessions was 12, but if your counsellor felt you needed more they could extend this.

More info here at the royal college of psychiatrist: http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinfoforall/treatments/psychotherapy.aspx

Each therapy has there pros and cons and will work or not work for people differently. i find what's key is to be able to build a relationship with the other person because its only then you will feel safe to open up (which pyshotherapy and counselling focus on but not sure about cbt).

hope that helps some.