Single and in Debt Part II

sarahb123_3

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))

Oh Sarah I am sorry you feel so bad. I really am. I know I have been avoiding my friends this holiday cos the one and only time I went out although I had a good time I was VERY aware I was the only single person there and most people were younger then me.

When your life doesn't work out the way you always assumed it would it takes along time to figure out what to do instead. I am still wondering. I have been so depressed recently and not even looked at my bank account

Its very hard Sarah and don't think it isn't. I think both of us need to find something to enthuse about and focus on.

to be honest for me its the house, renting it out and then travelling - all the places I should have gone in my twenties when I was in pointless relationships and hankering after horrible men.

I can't really write much more, cos I feel so much of what you feel.

take care hon and know you are not alone in this.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I had to quote the whole thing as there isn't one bit that doesn't apply to me too. Grrrrrr. We do need to get something to focus on and for me it is the house too, I think. Just finding it hard to be enthusiastic at the moment, everything feels so far away and I am feeling so down.
If I really put my mind to it I could start looking at the beginnning of next year with a view to getting somewhere at the end of the year but I need to focus on and account for every single penny to do it.

It is carppy always being the oldest one and being the only single one, it's like everyone else knows some secret or has had everything handed to them so easily and they are all overtaking me. I don't even know how they got their lives to go that way.

I need to make a plan. I need to not spend anything unless it is necessary. I need to lose weight. Will have to do a bit of reading my favourite self help books tonight and make a plan.

PinkTwirl

I heard back from a second interview today. They gave the job to someone who already has a job whereas I will be out of work in 6 weeks. Apparently they couldn't decided between us and based the decision on the fact that she lives nearer to Edinburgh than me, despite me having travelled more than that distance every day for the past 5 months.

I feel sick to my stomach, I haven't been able to eat today and i don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I really wanted to just be able to pay my mortgage and my £22K debt. Now I feel like I'm screwed. I can't believe they would base a decision on that. It seems morally bankrupt to me to give someone with a job already another one and make the other person face possible bankruptcy and having to ponce off the state in the meantime.

I'd go and buy some wine but I can't afford it now.

I feel totally screwed.

sarahb123_3

makeup wrote: »

I know what you mean about spending money on bits and bobs that you don't need. I'm such a sucker for lovely stationery too! Paperchase has way too much of my money!!!

They currently have a very nice spending diary.:o

Please try not to get upset about being single and worrying about being 'on the shelf' (plus stop using that horrible phrase :eek:). There is so much anecdotal evidence about couples meeting when they least expected or least hoped they would. I remember spending an evening with a friend of mine in tears and absolutely distraught and she was convinced she was destined to be single forever and shortly afterwards she got together with her husband and they are planning their first baby now. I think once you are feeling better about yourself and have achieved some of your goals you can start being more active about meeting someone. For example think about internet dating (I've been to one wedding and know two couples who live together who met online), making sure you are 'out there' - if you don't meet new men you are unlikely to find a new boyfriend and things like that but I think you might find this easier when you feel a bit more optimistic and positive???

Thank you, it always gives me hope when I hear stories like that and I do hope that's what happens to me. I need to lose weight so I can be swept of my feet without causing anyone an injury.

I feel like I've really benefitted from being part of the 'Single and Fabulous' thread community and I think you should feel really proud for setting that up. I've been able to talk about things on here that I haven't necessarily been able to talk about with my friends (they're not exactly smug marrieds but it isnt' the same as chatting with the single folks!!!)

Exactly, whether you want to meet someone or not- and I often change between the two- there are things I don't really want to say to friends in a couple. And I am really glad I set this thread up because now have all you lovely people who understand what it's like, not just managing the debts by yourself, but all the other things that come with being on your own.

sarahb123_3

PinkTwirl wrote: »

I heard back from a second interview today. They gave the job to someone who already has a job whereas I will be out of work in 6 weeks. Apparently they couldn't decided between us and based the decision on the fact that she lives nearer to Edinburgh than me, despite me having travelled more than that distance every day for the past 5 months.

That's rotten news PinkTwirl, I really feel for you. All I can say is that you are obviously doing something right to keep getting to the last stage of the interviews and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the perfect job will come along and you will be glad you didn't get this one. You just have to hang on in there for a little longer.

makeup

PinkTwirl wrote: »

I heard back from a second interview today. They gave the job to someone who already has a job whereas I will be out of work in 6 weeks. Apparently they couldn't decided between us and based the decision on the fact that she lives nearer to Edinburgh than me, despite me having travelled more than that distance every day for the past 5 months.

I feel sick to my stomach, I haven't been able to eat today and i don't see any light at the end of the tunnel. I really wanted to just be able to pay my mortgage and my £22K debt. Now I feel like I'm screwed. I can't believe they would base a decision on that. It seems morally bankrupt to me to give someone with a job already another one and make the other person face possible bankruptcy and having to ponce off the state in the meantime.

I'd go and buy some wine but I can't afford it now.

I feel totally screwed.

Oh Pink, I really feel for you. What a horrible thing to find out? I mean it is a crazy way to pick someone - what if she moves further away?? Will they take the job away from her????

I hope you feel better soon and can get back some optimism and hope.

Take care

PinkTwirl

sarahb123 wrote: »

That's rotten news PinkTwirl, I really feel for you. All I can say is that you are obviously doing something right to keep getting to the last stage of the interviews and I know it doesn't feel like it now, but the perfect job will come along and you will be glad you didn't get this one. You just have to hang on in there for a little longer.

Thanks, it's probably not the best attitude to have, but I'm hurt, disappointed and desperate and all I can think of is that they are totally morally bankrupt b*st*rds. I cried most of the morning at work in front of 11 men and then punched a wall and hurt my hand.

On another note, I hope everyone is well.

FeeFee

I agree - that's a totally nuts way to choose an employee

PinkTwirl

makeup wrote: »

Oh Pink, I really feel for you. What a horrible thing to find out? I mean it is a crazy way to pick someone - what if she moves further away?? Will they take the job away from her????

I hope you feel better soon and can get back some optimism and hope.

Take care

Exactly! Also, they asked me in the interview "will you move to Edinburgh?" I replied "I don't know", I wouldn't have, but they didn't even give me the chance to! There are high speed rail links between Glasgow and Edinburgh every 15 minutes because of the large number of people that commute!!!

I find it hard to believe that I have a clone that got the job because she's 20 miles nearer than me but that's what they said. How pathetic.

I hope she doesn't take it and then I can tell them where to stick or, or she's so bad that she causes them all sorts of grief. Am I vindictive, yes!

makeup

PinkTwirl wrote: »

punched a wall and hurt my hand.

On another note, I hope everyone is well.

I once hit the wall with a frying pan as I was so angry and made a hole in the plaster work. It was there forever reminding me of my anger......:mad:

Maybe it is good to let all the emotion out???

Anyway, yep am well. Finished the last of the simnel cake and easter eggs so not a good day diet-wise but certainly tasty and at least it isn't in the house now!!

FeeFee

hey wait a minute!!!!!!!! I hadn't finished that...:mad:

Sorry computers get the better of me sometimes...
Just wanted to suggest that its worth moderating your disappointment when you get these horrible rejection calls because 'other' candidates do withdraw... it's quite common for people to use a better job elsewhere to gain a better deal for themselves at their current job... you then leave the door open just in case...:rolleyes:

Only saying because I know of someone who was rejected for a job at my work who gave a bit too much negative feedback and was then skipped over when the job came back on the market......

Meantimes keep up the hard work and it WILL pay off....