What is fair when dividing your estate within a step-family?

POSSETTE

I was single no kids,when we moved in together,hubby had 2 daughters approx 7 and 10 then. We thought if he died he would leave 50% of house to girls and 50% to me...but then i thought a bit more and realised he couldnt leave 100% of house as he only owned 50% of it,i owned the other half..!
So solicitor did a will at this, he leaves me 25% of house and girls 25% of house,so i would technically own 75% of house and his ex could not then force me to sell my home so she could have money to bring girls up.
It stayed like this until they grew up and now have homes of thier own,now we leave whole house to each other,and after second death,it is split between 2 girls and my nephew.
We also have the death in service pension payments,and endowments that would apy out also,so i would give the girls something from that.
As for,if he died and i remarried etc...hell no...i dont want all that again!!

Im going to run a dogs home and be that strange doggy woman that every town has some where!

lostinrates

Mojisola wrote: »

Surely that's the mother's responsibility - the daughter does have two parents.

i don't think the child has a right to anything, but I think you are right she has two parents: regardless of the breakdown in their marriage he is still her father.

localhero

funbus wrote:

My partner and I would really value your opinions on what you would do if you were in this situation.

We have been together for just over 12 years. He has a son aged 22 from a previous marriage, who still lives at home with us. I don't have any children. In writing his will, do you think it is reasonable that my partner should split his estate 50/50 between his son and me?

Usually, in a ‘normal’ marriage, everything would go to the surviving spouse which would then be passed to the children upon the spouse’s death. Yet step-families are different aren’t they?

I know the ultimate decision is my partner’s but we’d be interested to hear your views on this.

What do you think would be fair or right? And are they the same thing?

Thank you

What your husband needs to decide is who he would ultimately want to inherit his house after you have died.

If it is his daughter, then the only way that he can achieve the certainty of this is to leave the house to her, but if he dies before you, then to leave you a life interest in the property.

That means you will retain a right to remain living in the property, but if you were to remarry/have more children or require long term care then the capital will be guaranteed to pass to his own child.

One or two people have also made this suggestion in this thread, but it is interesting how many others have followed the traditional route and left everything to each other first and then on second death split between children/stepchildren.

Unfortunately people's attitudes and circumstances do change after their spouse dies, and stepchildren are left completely at the mercy of the step-parent who is legally entitled to make a new Will, and in many cases do. This a very common problem that can easily be prevented with a Will that caters sufficiently for all parties.

Where there is jointly owned assets, in particular the house, the ownership needs to be as 'tenants in common'. It is not unusual then for each spouse to leave their share to their own children.

wendywitch

I don't know what will happen in my situation. My parents are married but I have sister from my mum's previous relationship.
At the moment my parents are refusing to make a will even though they are both in poor health.
I always thought in the end anything would be split between the two of us but if my mum went first surely it would all go to my dad then if there still is no will just to me as apart from his half sister me and my girls are all he would have left.
If my mum did go first (which is highly likely due to her age and health) and because of my dad's medical condition I for see having to give up my home and move back to look after him anyway. My sister and dad have never really got on and she is never around to help

FairyElephant_2

POSSETTE wrote: »

Im going to run a dogs home and be that strange doggy woman that every town has some where!

He He! As things are going at the moment, I will be the Mad Cat Woman equivalent to you!!!!!!

DH has 3 kids, I have none (not for want of trying, sadly). If either of us goes before the other, the house passes to the survivor. If we don't have any kids together, then when the survivor goes, his 50% of the house will go to his 3 kids, split equally, and my 50% will be split between my godson and various charities I support. Of course it will always be possible for the survivor to change their will and alter the end outcome, but we have made the promise to each other that it will be this way.

He actually thinks his kids will come out rather well from this deal, as I have actually paid more than 50% of the house because I had savings to put into it and he didn't, and I have more disposable income than him as he has to pay maintenance for the kids, so I can make extra mortgage payments!

sandy2_2

Ah yes inheritance!!! Before I married I owned my house and had my own money, my second husband came to marriage with nothing. He had 5 grown up children. Since we married we have accrued joint assets including property, but I don't feel comfortable about his children inheriting my initial contribution to our now joint assets...am I horrible or would other people feel the same

POSSETTE

no..not horrible, as i am the same, i dont want all our assets going to DH daughters,i want something to go to my side of family,so i have my nephew for that!

Katie789

Tricky ground and something well worth discussing but my partner and I have 2 boys together and he has a daughter from his 1st marriage. If we die together the estate will be split 1/6 to his daughter (1/3 of his 50% share) 5/12 each to the boys (1/2 each of my 50% and 1/3 each of his). If one of us goes first everything passes to the other which is where we have a difference of opinion. He would split the whole estate between the 3. I however would just split it between the boys. We cannot agree on this and so are leaving it up to fate, we are only 24 and 35 at the moment though so who knows if we'll feel differently in 40 years time....

My view is that the daughter will also have claim on her (wealthy) mother's estate but this would be the boys only inheritance so it is fair that she gets less

pinkpig08

we too have this difficulty. DH has 2 children from a previous relationship, and we have 1 together, soon to be 2. We have agreed that if anything should happen, his 2 children will get 50% split between them, and our child will get the other 50%. Once the new child is born, our children will get a third each, and his 2 will get a third split between them.

Our reasoning is this - his 2 children have 2 parents, he is providing his share of inheritance - it is up to their mum to provide the other. Our 2 children have both of us, hence the third is their whole inheritance. I hope I've explained myself properly.

swiss69

Having read the posts it is clear that this is a complicated subject if you have made a will - To anyone who has not, the laws of intestacy (Dying without making a will) are extremely complicated and the rules have just changed. It is absolutely vital that anyone in this position gets advice from a solicitor as home made wills are just an accident waiting to happen unless your wishes are extremely clear.

To the OP, as the first person to reply said, your other half can leave the house to his son but give you the right to remain in the house until your death at no cost to you as long as you maintain the house and do not remarry.

If he has money on top of the house then I would imagine that a fair solution would be to leave some to you and some to his son. It all depends on circumstances though. For example if his son has a poor job with no great prospects going forward and you are totally financially independant with a great job and prospects going forward then what happens then? Alternatively his son could be a doctor and you have no job....It really depends on circumstances.

For all of you with children from other relationships, have you thought about what would happen if you or your spouse/partner inherits money from their parents but as one poster has done, made a will leaving everything to their 2 children they had together with nothing to his daughter from a previous relationship if he dies first, Is that now fair? I am sure that grandparents would not want this!

This shows that grandparents too need to think carefully about who they leave their money to.........

I am with an early poster - Spend what you have and just leave the bare minimum...With life expectancy now, it is not inconceivable for people to be in their 60's before they inherit by which time surely they are financially secure themselves...Maybe its better to just bypass a generation and give it straight to grandchildren who will have much more fun spending it:D