Right, Third time lucky, I will do it this time

angie_baby

work is manic, but im rebelling, boss's are being nasty!

So im on here for 5 mins

AND


OMG

I think i just spoke to my ex, phone one of our suppliers and im sure it was him, he passed me over pretty quickly though, sure it was him, cant forget that gormess voice!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

angie_baby

Well, busy day at work today. And a blast from the past too. Not spent any money thats not budgeted for

Back to getting a free lift in tomorrow, so thats really handy as i will be at work early too and there is loads on

Still got this horrid coldy thing, cough / sore throat, the works really, which on the bright side has made me cut down on what i smoke, only had one cigg today. But on the other it makes me a grumpy mare and a nightmare to work with. Im just so tired too. So ive already had a quick once round the flat, a steaming hot bath, so hot i couldnt really move it in, and am now pretty much ready for bed. Going to have a weak cup of tea and relax for the next half hour with a book.

Hope everyones week is going well so far, mine is still pretty hetic but ive now got until next Fri to get everything ready. Which is great as i bought work home with me too do, but now it can wait, I really feel rubbish.

EDIT Im still here at 22.04

angie_baby

Morning All,

Im at work, got my lift and am shattered, i just cant sleep at the moment. Its really anoying, and ive still got this cold thingy.

Anyway hope all is well, im sure i will update later.

angie_baby

Morning All,

Usual free lift in today. Ran late though as Joes childminder wouldnt answer the door, so i called, still no answer, ok, started making my way to work with Joe, get a call back, 'sorry, i didnt hear the door' so drive back to drop Joe off then start again.

I have just checked my online banking and my CTC is showing at £105.38 instead of the £95 odd. Going to call them up today and just double check it.

Im really looking forward to the long weekend and our day out on Saturday, I dont care what the weather is like to be honest. And if it was wet and windy the way im feeling now it would prob do me good to be able to blow everything away.

I was speaking to my dad this morning and he was honest with me and said that sometimes he doesnt want to talk to me because i am so stresssed all the time Which is not good, I dont like being stressed either it causes me massive mirgranes.
I do not know how to cheer myself up anymore, the debt, feeling lonely , Joes school behavour, all the extra people involed with Joe at school and the fact that his behavour outreach lady told (which she shouldnt off) me that the school have refered me to social services beacause of Joes behavour at school, the school have basicly said that there MUST be a problem at home for Joe to behave the way he does sometimes all feels like its too much. I work so hard and i feel like, well i dont know how i feel anymore.

I was also asked to go out and i just cant do it, as always. In 2008 i went out a total of 6 times. And i promised myself this year would be better, but its not gone to plan so far.
And even when i do go out then i feel bad because i could of spent the money on Joe and I going out or saving for a holiday so im in a catch 22.

I dont know anymore, but at least i can ramble on, on here.

On the plus side my dad has promised that he will have Joe for a day or 2 so i can have a break which is nice and my dad is going to make the picnic on Saturday too.

I hope everyone is feeling a little happier than me at the moment

angie_baby

Well phoned TC, the payment is correct

Its all helps!

angie_baby

Well, my friend has offered to have Joe tonight as a treat for her DS, so looks like i have a night off tonight.

Have already deciced that im having a nice chilled night, glass of wine, bubble bath and just relax.

And even better, it means i get a proper lie in tomorrow :j

natsplatnat

Hi Angie!! Sorry, feel like I have been neglecting you recently!

An unplanned night off - what a bonus... and I agree - the lie-in is even better! (I like my sleep!) Take some time and just chill, try and empty your mind of all your money stress and relax (maybe easier said than done! - I really don't do stress, am far too laid back!!)

Well done to your dad for doing the food for the picnic - a little less for you to have to do!!

Just a thought.... (please excuse if its something you don't want to consider!) but is there no 'respite care' available for you with regards to Joe? My family used to be a 'Link family' for children with all sorts of behavioural/learning problems and we would have a child for a day an afternoon or just an hour to 2 to give the parents a break. I'm not sure if its something you would consider as it sounds like Joe is a dream at home - but just something I thought I would put out there for you to consider!

The whole going out (or not as most of us DFWers are finding out) is one of the hardest things to get my head around. I have only had one 'big night out' (excluding my birthday as OH paid!!) so far this year.... until my LBM I was going out about once a month and blowing £40-60!! The invites are still there but I have been strong and said NO!! I really want to go out dancing though :rolleyes: May have to budget ahead a month or 2 and see who I can drag out. But there is always something that crops up that takes precedence over my night of spending. It looks like I will have to travel to either Pontefract (York way) or Exeter at the end of April / early May. One of my Uni friends is having the first baby of our group in July and this will be our last child-free get together.... so money will be needed for that (hoping they can decide where we are going to meet soon so I can book some cheap rail tickets!! How MSE am I?)

Anyway - I really should be working - but have that Friday feeling even though I am in tomorrow and Sat! So for now, goodbye and I hope you have a lovely evening..... YOU ARE UNDER STRICT INSTRUCTIONS NOT TO DO ANY HOUSEWORK TONIGHT!!

Nats x

angie_baby

Aggggggg,

Hi Nats,

Just typed a reply and it disapered

Anyways, thanks as ever for the post nats. To be honest respite wouldnt work for us, im always at work and i actully want to spend more time with Joe, I feel guilty as i dont think i spend enough time with him, during the week its basicly in from work, dinner, baths, book and bed and thats about it yes we have the weekends but i still feel like he needs more time with me Esp in half term when his mates from the childminders are at home with there mum and dad I feel so cruel just dropping him off for the day when hes got no mates there,

The way i feel at the moment i just want to grab Joe and run away somewhere hot for a couple of days, thank god i cut the cards up otherwise i think i would of done it by now.

My dad has said that i do need a break though, and has promised to have Joe overnight and the day sometime next week, the thing is without Joe im lost! Havent a clue what to do with myself

I think im just having a down week / month / beginning of the year :rotfl:Im sure it will get better!

Im def going to just chill tonight, theres not really much housework to do other than washing. And i promise not to do any tidying!

I know what you mean about today feelin like a Friday, think i felt like that on Tues, its a shame you have to work Ive been looking forward to this break since about Jan

Anyways i should really be working too, thanks again nats :A

And of course have a great Easter :easter_os:EasterBun:easter_ba

Yes, i just found all the other smilies

robsmum_2

Hi Angie, I have just found your diary and want to join your band of friends, hope that ok. Your diary made me cry as I could have written whilst my sone was young(29 now).I had a lot of health problems with Rob and school problems and although not offically at that time I was a single mum.
Also how you are feeling at the moment is exactly how I have felt for the last 2 weeks! No enough money to cover the basics, tried to work out budget etc. After my LBM I contacted CCCS and have appointment with them on 21st. In mean time I have cancelled all my DD's, written to my creditors and explained situation and trying to get some cash together to start to apply budget after appointment. Hope that makes sense.
Please look at my diary and I will subscibe to yours, I think we can really support each other.
You are doing exactly the right thing for Joe and not many kids these days get home cooked, good, healthy meals all the time.DON'T BEAT YOURSELF UP FOR DOING YOUR BEST. Defintely, do a contact book with school (if SS become involved they would recommend it any way) I used to work for them. The teacher sounds a nightmare. My smoking has gone up and not down also!
You are not alone and now you can adopt a Cyber Oldie also. Enjoy your night of tonight and just chill.x

Maybelline_Eyes

Hi Angie,
I've been reading your diary too, just as a lurker really!
My kids have now grown up (25 and 22) and i wasn't a single parent but still found life very tricky at times, so i can imagine it's double that for you. But chin up! You always sound like you're coping so well. Also i thought robsmum's post was very nice so wanted to thank her.
I've got the lurgey too and a headache to go with it (sinuses) so i don't know if my chill with a glass of wine is going to do me much good:rolleyes:
Anyway, have a good night off and enjoy yours (glass of wine), you deserve it!