MSE Pregnancy Club VII

Krystaltips

Worth a try AM, ta... Will try it a bit later... You know how usually when your back hurts you can sit down and it feels better... I think I was standing still too long and it's not eased up since I sat down...

efrieze, I don't know that there is any advice you can offer your friend... Sounds like it's something she needs to work through in her own way... My sister has a friend who's Mum is so hung up on having a grandaughter that after 3 boys she is now paying for IVF and gender selection in a foreign country!

efrieze

astonsmummy wrote: »

The only advice i would give her is to be thankful she can have a baby, sorry sounds harsh but it's the truth.
Never come accrosss someone being completely devestated by hearing the sex wasnt particularily what they wanted

I said that but she said that hearing about other people's problems doesn't help her and that this is HER PROBLEM and it is important to her. I think this will spiral into a big depression for her. She said she worries that in 20 years her boys will leave her and neverhave the relationship with them that she might have with a daughter. She won't listen to reason. It's a hard one.

astonsmummy

efrieze wrote: »

I said that but she said that hearing about other people's problems doesn't help her and that this is HER PROBLEM and it is important to her. I think this will spiral into a big depression for her. She said she worries that in 20 years her boys will leave her and neverhave the relationship with them that she might have with a daughter. She won't listen to reason. It's a hard one.

Oh dear, she really needs to seek some proffesional help, something like that could well lead to PND.
The only thing I can think of if she has a word with the MW or doc to see if she can get some form of councelling or something, seems like a bit of a deep seated issue.

efrieze

BTW Big labour vibes to MFD. I've been following the threadfrom my holiday in spain to see how she is doing!!!

emlou2009

its hard for her to deal with now but she will of course love him to pieces when he is born, he is after all still the fruit of her loins! IMO mums are closer to their boys than their girls and boys arent as stroppy either.

efrieze

astonsmummy wrote: »

Oh dear, she really needs to seek some proffesional help, something like that could well lead to PND.
The only thing I can think of if she has a word with the MW or doc to see if she can get some form of councelling or something, seems like a bit of a deep seated issue.

Yes- I think it might lead to PND. She found out her DS1 was a boy at her 20 week scan and told me (afterwards) that she cried for 3 days but was able to deal with it when pregnant so that when he was born she would have already coped with it (and she was fine, I think).

AS I said, seems shallow and silly to me but it isn't to her.

efrieze

emlou2009 wrote: »

its hard for her to deal with now but she will of course love him to pieces when he is born, he is after all still the fruit of her loins! IMO mums are closer to their boys than their girls and boys arent as stroppy either.

Yes - I am sure she will love him but she knows that the longing for a DD will never go away. And inevitably evenone else she knows will pop out DDs (including me!) and it will be hard to deal with each time.

MrsTinks

efrieze wrote: »

I said that but she said that hearing about other people's problems doesn't help her and that this is HER PROBLEM and it is important to her. I think this will spiral into a big depression for her. She said she worries that in 20 years her boys will leave her and neverhave the relationship with them that she might have with a daughter. She won't listen to reason. It's a hard one.

Sorry but I can't help myself: How awfully shallow is she!

Seriously! If it was THAT important to her then why did she get pregnant again - a 50/50 chance seems a huge risk if she wanted a girl that badly! At 20+ weeks I don't think termination is really an option even if she wanted that (and if she does I seriously hopes she never falls pregnant again! I'm prochoice and there are situations where I think terminations are the best way forward, however not getting the sex you wanted is NOT one of them!) and she'd never guarantee falling with a girl next time if she tried again.

I think her best bet is to seek some professional help and get her GP to refer her to a psycologist. Unless she deals with this now she will probably never bond with the baby and that would be a terrible home to grow up in I think...

LouBlue

feelinggood wrote: »

Weekly shop here is about £150. Far too expensive, and hubby keeps saying I need to try and get it to be cheaper. Suppose I do, but I like my food!

Sorry to butt in, haven't caught up on whole thread yet, just thought I would say that at 8pm on ITV, its Brand v Budget...could save people hundreds of pounds apparently.

3onitsway

weezl74 wrote: »

after making you all feel sorry about the sleep thing, I have to confess that a very lovely thing is happening tonight. My friend locally who I met on MSE is a trained nursery nurse, and is staying over tonight in the same room as Fergus, and banishing us to bed for, drumroll please...... a whole night's sleep! :T:T:T:T:T:T:Thow unbelievably lovely is that?!

I'm really excited, but also nervous, that my body won't let me just relax and enjoy it and I'll keep waking or something!:mad:

Bet you all hate me now!:o But what a lovely friend though.:D




Weezl x

Could you send her over here tomorrow night please - all I want is a whole nights sleep!! Please, please, please