Self Harm

nifty

Ok, sorry folks but it's gotto be said...it's the bain of my life. How many of you have to deal with it, have come across it?
I don't claim to understand it, I just know that it ruin's so many lives!

C.xxx

UKTigerlily

I have to deal with it, I was/am a self harmer (Rarely now thankfully), it's more of a bane to me than anyone else. It's not the SH that ruins lives it's the illness that causes people to. It's a horrible thing to go through, but hopefully can get better.

Mia_Moore

I'm a recovering self harmer and have been harming for over 14 years.

Why do I do it? There are lots of reasons, but I'm not sure I can make you understand.

I've cut and punched myself out of deep self hatred, like a sort of punishment for letting myself and other people down. I've done it in order to release some pressure when I have been so very desperately depressed.

VfM4meplse

nifty wrote: »

Ok, sorry folks but it's gotto be said...it's the bain of my life. How many of you have to deal with it, have come across it?
I don't claim to understand it, I just know that it ruin's so many lives!

C.xxx

Self-harming is complex and is best treated with professional help. First learn to love yourself. Then consult your GP as they may be able to organise a referral who will hep you identify your demons and face them.

Notsosharp

Not sure how to start with this or what to say....

I did type a big long post but then it was lost :mad:

I used to SH on a fairly regular basis up until about a year ago, its only with professional help from a psychiatrist I have managed to get it under control.

I did it for several reasons, the pain helped when I was feeling "numb" and desperate to feel anything, it was a distraction from dealing with what was going on in my life, a release from all the emotional pressure I was feeling, stopped me facing what was really upsetting me and facing life basically. I think it was also slightly addictive, the "high" that came afterwards was what made it addictive, oh and it was a visual sign of the pain inside.....Its kind of a relief to be talking about it though seeing as I have felt really, really ashamed for doing it.

I don't think I did it for attention, I always did it in places that could not be seen and when my GP asked to see it I refused point blank to let him take a look.

The main thing is to figure out what triggers the cutting and then try and avoid them or deal with them differently. I wrote everything down, I have books and books filled with my maudlin ramblings, usually written when more than a little drunk. Getting drunk on my own triggered it too so I won't drink on my own any more. Distraction or hitting a pillow (or kicking it across the room) helped, I have read somewhere about a box filled with things can help (though what things I don't know) drawing or writing on yourself with red pen. But if none of these work then try holding an icecube or putting an elastic band on your wrist and snapping that.

But you (if it is you) or whoever will need to get help, SH often do worse and worse things because their methods stop "working" and they are far more likely to commit or attempt suicide so please please please get help.

bestpud

I used to regularly SH and still do now, sometimes, but less harmful methods if I can.

For me, the 'cure' was realising why I did it and then challenging myself every time I have the urge.

I think, once you have started using something like this it deal with pain, it will always crop up as an option in times of stress. I think it is the same for addicts (of any kind). They don't just forget about alcohol/drugs/gambling/whatever; they simply learn to avoid them and/or replace them with something safer.

I have found holding ice cubes helps and also drawing a picture of myself and damaging it in some way.

The worst part of SHing for me though, is the way I was treated by medical professionals in the times I needed to get treatment.

Many of them think they will encourage people to do it more if they are kind, but in fact the opposite is true.

When I felt that low, people saying things like I didn't 'deserve to have such beautiful children', or 'you are a time waster and there are more deserving patients', or 'we should not give you pain relief as it is self inflicted and you need to learn a lesson', or ' you won't want pain relief as you like pain', just confirmed what what I already thought about myself....

squirrelchops

It is also a dissociative act. By this I mean the following:

Often if there is a trauma in a persons life the trauma becomes 'locked' in a part of the brain. Quite often when this starts to become 'unlocked' the person can feel unable to cope with the shift of these memories now reaching the front of their consciousness.. Self harming can therefore be a method of coping with this shift of memory of truma hence dissociating from the event by using self harm instead.

Hope that makes sense.

feelinggood_2

I'm a recovering self-harmer.

I agree with a lot of what has been said, like bestpud, the treatment by medical professionals has been less than brilliant. To be told I should 'grow up and get a job' isn't the most helpful advice. I found that rather than encourage me to seek help, it meant I didn't seek medical attention in future.

It is similar to other addictions, and the only way I've been able to cope with it is to use the coping strategies I learned in Alcoholics Anonymous.

I'm waiting for a Pyschotherapy assessment, hopefully that'll help with self-harming as well as the other issues.

I self-harm in two distinct ways. The more controllable side is 'to deal with emotional pain' bit. When something bad happens, I get a build up of anxiety, or I feel low, I self-harm in an attempt to relieve this. I also have something similar to what Squirrelchops mentions - dissociative self-harm. I completely space out, myself and the enviroment doesn't feel real, and I'm 'locked' in the action until something snaps me out of it. Its hard to control, because It happens before I realise it, it isn't a concious thing like the reactive self-harm.

bestpud

squirrelchops wrote: »

It is also a dissociative act. By this I mean the following:

Often if there is a trauma in a persons life the trauma becomes 'locked' in a part of the brain. Quite often when this starts to become 'unlocked' the person can feel unable to cope with the shift of these memories now reaching the front of their consciousness.. Self harming can therefore be a method of coping with this shift of memory of truma hence dissociating from the event by using self harm instead.

Hope that makes sense.

It makes perfect sense (to me anyway).

Pssst

I think it takes a heck of a lot of courage to pitch up on here and share this with other people. I wonder if it is primarily a female thing?

bestpud

Pssst wrote: »

I think it takes a heck of a lot of courage to pitch up on here and share this with other people. I wonder if it is primarily a female thing?

Possibly.

I don't tend to talk much about it in RL, but then it is sort of obvious (not glaringly obvious but there all the same) if I wear short sleeves, and sometimes it is better to be open about it than have people wondering all sorts!