How do you accept you have slow learning kids?

tiamai_d

My DS1 is slow learning. He is now in P3 (7 year old) and has only started to catch up with his class mates in writing especially. P1 and P2 were a write off in my mind! BUT, while his writing is very bad, his reading has suddenly exploded (he is reading horrid henry books at night by himself and has even started with harry potter with a bit of help with some of the longer words). His math skills are very good also. In class he can be shy simply because of the writing (he also cant draw any better than most nursery kids) and on first look is slow untill he reads or does maths in his head. He also had speach therapy.

DS2 has major speach problems as he has mild cerbral palsy (hemi). But is trying his hardest to communicate. He so far seems to be very clever, a little too clever, but we will have to wait and see what his writing skills and reading skills are like.

I see no reason why either of them will not be able to go to university. Once they find a subject that they are interested in they will bloom.

Just to add that boys do take longer to catch up to girls so please do not compare your DD to your DS.

peachyprice

I really think you're writing your son off far to early.

I have twin boys, from very early on one has been very bright, always in the top stream for everything, the other not so. He has speech therapy, occupational therapy, handwriting lessons, extra tuition for maths, and has generally trailed way behind his brother.

It's now time for them to choose their options, but guess what, my late developer is now in the top science group, infact he got the highest test score in his house, he's in the one from top maths & english and is excelling in humanities. They're both now in the top 'pathway' group and both are expected to do stay on for A levels, and if they want will both go on toi Uni.

Give him time, with the right encouragement he'll reach his full potential whatever that may be, but right now let him enjoy himself.

Gingham_Ribbon

gibboelli wrote: »

Does it really matter? On the grand scale of things, does being academic really make any difference to anyone?
I was always doing well at school, I'm classed as a genius now with my IQ but I couldnt cope with structure and the things people constantly expected of me, and the expectations they had of my future and had a nervous breakdown at 8 and again at 13. Ok I'm a manic depressive but being academic never helped me! It made me worse!
I will also add school has to be one of the most boring environments I have ever come across, maybe your kid honestly isnt interested in anything teachers have to say and do and hasnt found his niche yet.
Happiness is severely under rated. Let your son be happy, even if that does mean he doesnt have super dooper report cards.

I'm sorry you went through all that. The NAGC reports that those problems are very common in high ability children unfortunately.

To Ethansmum, the best we can do is love our children unconditionally the way they are, support them in those things they find difficult and praise them for effort and small triumphs.

Find things that are wonderful about your children and remember that those are the things that will get them through life, so help them build on them. Confidence, agility, strength, charisma, likeability, warmth, kindness, determination...whatever their particular strengths are, let them know you think they are wonderful.

If you have had their eyes tested and can confirm that they are doing well enough for them then please relax about their academic skills. Academic success can only take someone so far. Hard work, a positive outlook and a friendly disposition can make anyone succeed, even those who walk away from school without a single qualification.

Barcode

I know it must sound weird, but check their hearing.

I had speech therapy for a few years at a similar age: it was likely my (now profound) deafness was just beginning to manifest itself then. Things were resolved, and I advanced.

Admittedly, I was also a complete nightmare in school. From an early age I answered back, refused to do things I disliked, was suspended more times than I can count. Being 'on report' or in detention was familiar. I refused to do homework and spent class-time generally being disruptive. My predicted G.C.S.E grades were all D's and E's.

I surprised everyone, including myself, when I ended up with ten A*'s / A's and one C. Only then did I start to take school a little more seriously.

Even if your child is not academic, so what. Surely, being happy, and acquiring other non-academic skills are just as important.

msb5262

As a teacher and a mum, I'd say don't get too anxious about all this. Children develop at different rates and boys are notoriously a mystery in many ways as they grow. That said, I'd say that reading TO your children is maybe the most important way you can help them. It will add so much to their lives even if they don't ever become academic.
I'd recommend reading to them as much as you can, and if it's something you find hard (time constraints, hating the books they choose etc), get them some very good audio books on CD. Alan Bennett reading Winnie the Pooh springs to mind, but there's so much brilliant stuff to choose from - don't forget you can borrow these from your local library, find out what they love and buy anything they really adore.
Also, I'd second the poster above who suggested the Beano - excellent for motivating reluctant readers.
Best of luck and don't worry about all this academic stuff, it's not everything in the world!

Becles

My two sons are like chalk and cheese! The 12 year old one is very academic and has always had high marks in tests, SATS, etc. He reads loads and rattles off homework in no time. I wouldn't be surprised if he goes to university.

The 10 year old isn't academic at all. It's been a battle to get him to read and homework is a nightmare. He gets frustrated because he can't do it, and he seems to have a mental block in getting ideas out of his head and onto paper in a legible format. Takes a lot of patience! However, he's very good with practical tasks and he can think out problems. It's early days yet, but I think he would be better suited to something like work in the construction industry where he's using his hands and brain and not having to write things down.

He still needs to read and write though, so he's in the library and he's got a free choice on what he gets. I've said it's fine to stop reading it if he gets a book and reads 20 pages and decides he doesn't like it, rather than being forced to read to the end like at school. He's progressed better doing that.

I also give him small writing tasks at home using things that have caught his interest. We went to a science festival at the weekend, and he was really interested in a workshop on tackling fires and how things burn, so I got him to write a short essay on that yesterday which he enjoyed doing.

littlemissmoney

I had speach therapy as a child and went on to do well at uni and get a good job

Edit: I've just read the other posts... I also problems with my ears too it's worth checking that out!

ailuro2

my DD is a very keen reader, we let her go at her own pace, never coached her, left the school to do it the way they were teaching everyone else. No use confusing kids with our half baked 1970s methods.

what she did have though, was a leap pad, it read the stories to her or let her read them with a bit of help, or just read them herself - I think this really helped her, because with the best will in the world it's not easy to sit and flick from page to page like DD used to like to do , or re-read the favourite bits over and over - dinner does not cook itself, so to encourage an interest in books I think the interactive route is a good one, especially now there are so many different leapster type books - Scooby Doo to more educationally biased,they even have maths books, iirc.

themaccas

Hi, I really thought this could have been about my children...my DS1 was very slow all through infants and juniors, when he started secondary school the teachers suggested he would have probably have problems passing GCSE's. Fortunately he went to an excellent school, very academic and they pushed him very hard, it worked for him, he passed all 9 GCSE's, 3 A levels and is now at uni and absolutely loving his degree course. My DD struggled just like DS1 and has been diagnosed dyslexic, this is different to DS and our expectations are much lower for her, she struggles with english, maths, science -everything, every subject. She likes school though but with her starting secondary school in September I know she is going to have a major challenge ahead. And then there is DS2, guess what...he struggles, he's in year 1 and can barely read, he is struggling keeping up with his class and is basically bottom of his class.

I get really frustrated too, OH and I both have degrees and were top of our classes at school and never imagined our children would struggle so much with their education. DD has virtually been written off by her present school so I'm glad she is moving schools in Sept and will be able to make a 'new start'. However we are a close family, they are all fit and well and happy kids so we are eternally thankful for that.

tiamai_d

I forgot about reading to children!

I do read to my two at bedtimes especially. They love it and I've found that it actually relaxes me too. You think that if they have been acting up and are little brats going to bed that reading a story is the last thing youd want to do, but once you actually do it, you find that everyone is more relaxed all round. Now it's a fight with DS1 to see who reads the story. We have called a truce at a page each

Last week the pair of them had a nasty viral infection and it was about the only way to settle them down in the middle of the night when they had sore tummies (or made 'bodily fluids' on the bed).

And then there is all the medical and scientific evidence that shows that reading to your kids is probably the number 1 way to help them 'acheive' in school and life in general.