what do you expect ur man to do around the house?

WestonDave

Annie is right - a lot of it comes from upbringing. If Mum takes the attitude that boys are there to be waited on hand and foot its hardly surprising that is their natural stance when they are in a relationship.

I was fortunate (didn't feel it at the time!) that me and my sister were both brought up to do our share of stuff around the home - like a bit of everything. We were both taught to cook, how to clean, do the washing (and ironing - my one luxury now is non iron shirts!) and whilst I will never be naturally tidy, at least I know how to do it.

Having had my own place for a couple of years before I got married, it has always continued on - even now when OH is home all week, I still do most of the cooking (she obviously feeds the kids during the day and they have their evening meal before I get home) and on the odd occasion she does it, I feel like a spare part - its almost become a "de-stressing" thing for me after a day at work. Cleaning and washing gets shared between us - what she can fit in around the kids activities gets done during the weekdays but if its still left at the weekend then I'll often do a lot of it. To be fair she often gets tired more quickly and at the weekends while the boys are having their rest, she will sit down with a book whereas I'm happy to keep going - I don't do sitting still very well unless its the later part of the evening as once I crash that's it!

However it can be taken too far - because of our different energy levels and because OH was recently made redundant, it is often an issue that she feels she isn't contributing because she isn't bringing in money nor doing all the housework so I have to make sure I'm not doing too good a job of helping! Its all really a question of doing what you can to make life more pleasant rather than listing out who does what job (although I always have to put the bins out, cut the lawn, clean the cars..... !). The other thing is to think about what you are doing as something you are contributing rather than thinking of it just as some nasty job that you want to get out of - take some pride in it!

chatnoir

My Oh cooks everynight, and I do the washing. We take it turns doing the ironing..although when its his turn the underwear never seems to make it out of the basket and the iron doesn't go away untill mid week!...apparently is cooling down...for four days!
I do most tidying, he's quite happy to have the flat littered with his dirty socks! but he does help to do house work at the weekend

mazza111

In answer to the original question, I expect him to do nothing. I nag him to do loads, although end up doing most of it myself. I know he works long hours, I know he's knackered after work, but aint we all? Maybe we would all go on strike and sit with our feet up for a few days and see how much gets done.

Bean_Counter

As a bloke, I would estimate I do the following:

99% of the cooking for the adults (not home in time to cook for the kids but I do this at the weekends)
50% of the washing up
99% of the ironing (wife does the washing and drying)
95% of taking the kids to activities such swimming, piano lessons etc
20% of cleaning and tidying
20% of DIY (hate it and my wife enjoys it)

I work full time and wife is SAHM.

However, it is like anything else, about give and take in a good relationship and things balance themselves out for us anyway.

viktory

My husband, son and I are a good team. My husband works very long hours in a very physical job (starts at 7am - finishes at 5pm with only a 45 minutes break) so I do all the cooking during the week. I also do the housework, with help from our son, who does the lions share of the washing up and helps me strip and remake the beds, plus hoovering when asked.

My husband cooks at the weekend, does all the DIY, gardening, car maintenance and window cleaning.

Marcheline

Think it depends on your situation: my mum and nan have not worked since they got married and they do everything around the house. My dad and grandad will do DIY things but that's the end of it. With my parents, my mum tried going back to work full time for about 3 months and during this time my dad did exactly half of all the housework/coooking as mum was out working too. When she gave up work, he said he would no longer be doing any housework. Think this is fair enough. To be honest, I would only expect help with household chores if I was working as well as my husband. If only he was working, I would do everything about the house as I would see it as my job.

KarrieBee

I think until women stop viewing men doing housework as "helping" you are making a rod for your own back! When we both worked fulltime OH and I have always split the housework roughly along the lines of doing the jobs we each hate least so I do the ironing, clean the bathroom and most of the cooking, OH cleans the kitchen, sorts the bins and recycling and usually washes up. We both hoover, do the washing, tidy etc as it is needed. At the moment I have been made redundant and OH works fulltime so obviously I am currently doing the majority of the house stuff as i have more time to do it and OH is contributing far more financially than i am.
It can't be that we are relatively young as many people on this thread have been married for years and they also seem to have a good balanced approach to this.
Bluntly if I'd met a man when I was single who referred to housework as helping I would have laughed him out of the house!
OH and I are a partnership I am not his chattel, if he was at home more, as he was when doing his postgrad degree he would do more housework than me.
My parents had exactly the same set up as we do and it seemed to work well for them too.

shellsuit

OH works full time (sometimes a 70 hour week) and I work part time (I'm signed off on the sick at the mo).

I do everything as I like to do it my way (I'm a sucker for doing things my way lol) but if I need a hand, I've only got to ask and OH will help me.

I don't see why he should have to work all week (some weeks 7 days) to come home and have to iron/cook/clean etc when I'm there and can do it.

So, to answer the question, I don't expect my man to do anything!

JWM

glamourpuss1979 wrote: »

hi, i've been maried for 13 yrs this year and feel like i just took over from his mother,we have 2 children,he is great with them but does very little in the house to help...i do EVERYTHING!!! he is self employed but most of his work is for family so earns very little money...i am the main earner.
ladies...what do u expect of your husband/partner...how much do you make him do for himself ie. washing clothes,making food.

men....what do you think??

Half of everything of course and I do the other half, although in reality I probably do a bit more - higher cleaner standards! DS is 9 now and he has his own (little) jobs, this will increase as he gets older.

I found DH used to tell me everything he did as if he wanted praise, but when I started doing the same and he realised he did less he soon shut up! You have to train them - we've been together 15 years and he knows whats expected of him now!

Actually I blame his Mum, lovely woman but spoiled him - waited on him hand and foot. He's OK now he's been retrained.

:beer:

elainew

Our marriage is a partnership. Hlaf the house is his so the jobs are done when needed. If the ironing is overflowing then it gets ironed, if the dishwasher needs emptied -it gets emptied by whoever decides to do it.