Another OH with debts

TCM_3

Ladybez I am so sorry to read what all has been happening since I last looked in on this thread. How you are holding yourself together is testimony to the strong person that you are. This can't be easy for you, maybe it is time for him to move on and you can be free of the financial strain he is putting you under. If he was to stand on his own two feet for a while until he realised the mess he has got himself into he maybe would see that he not only has a massive problem but also a very supportive and loyal wife.

Good luck with whatever course you decide to take, I'm thinking of you, xxxxxx

epsilondraconis

Hi ladybez - I've only just found this thread and read through it. I'm not sure what to say really. I just wish there was a magic wand that the collective MSErs could wave and make everything okay.

Caroline73_2

If your children don't want him there, then you really have no reason to have him back unless his behaviour and attitude towards you and them changes.

How are you feeling?

Dinah93

I think it's really telling that even the children don't want him there.

How are you feeling ladybez?

You're a strong, intellegent lady, and I'm sure you'll cope with this development better than most people (certainly better than him!).

RAS

ladybez,

I hope this the beginning of some sort of progress for you. Maybe easier if he left rather than having to physically eject him.

Thankfully you have no shared accounts but with the shared mortgage, you need to get urgent legal adviceotherwise his creditors will secure his debts on the house. I sugggest you keep opening his letters at the moment so you can spot anything like CCJs.

Can you see if you can find the default notice regarding these debts?

Can you contact the council if he is away more than a few days and ask for single person's discount.

I would also suggest looking at www.entitledto.com to work out what you would be entitled to re Working tax credit/child tax credit. Ring them up as soon as you know what his longer term plans are.

How is the situation regarding your own small debt?

maybe ring his parents and see if he is camped out there?

johncolescarr

I don't think you can sort out someone's debts for them. The biggest problem is that even if your husband won the lottery and cleared off all the debt, if his attitude has not changed, it will simply mount up again.

You need to really consider how much you can help him, sometimes you will just damage your self in the process and be of no help to the person you are trying to help

Fire_Fox

ladybez wrote: »

Its not easy to walk out on 33 years of being together. However last night, after an almighty row (about something else) he ended up by saying "do you want me to go?" The kids all said yes and when we came back from Brownies he was out. Will see how this pans out in the next few days.

Sorry to hear things have gone this way: I hope whatever happens it will be the best thing for you and your children. Either he sorts himself out and you are happy together or he stays away and you are happy without the hassle of such irresponsible and thoughtless behaviour. :A

Forris

Haven't posted on your thread for a while, but have been following your progress. Just want to wish you luck, whatever the outcome.

FeeFee

Just wanted to send you a message of support and the very best wishes for the next few days. Its clear that the MSErs can see your strength even when you don't quite feel it yourself. All will be well :grouphug:

Shoe_Gal

Hello

For what it's worth (I read your thread regularly) this could be just the fresh start you need

I have been dumped on (twice) financially by exes, though nothing like to the extent you have, and I know I am better off out of it although I am still struggling to pay off debts

Stay strong, take care

Shoe Gal x