Not enough hours

RedBern

ok is sounds like you're not keen on a cleaner - I can understand your reluctance although I'm sure as others have already said that they've seen worse. Speaking as someone who hides my money under the hoover as it's the safest place in the house - you have my sympathy.

So, set yourself a day - get OH to take kids out of the way. Equip yourself with everything you need, rubber gloves, black sacks, kitchen and bathroom spray, dusters, etc. When I do this - which I can assure you isn't often - I start at the front door and work my way in to the kitchen, then living room, stairs and landing, bathroom. Whilst doing these rooms washing is going on/off and being hung out/brought in and folded where possible to save ironing. When you're on your own for the day there'll be no-one undoing all your work as you go along. Then - then you've finished and OH comes back with the kids you point out how clean/tidy everything is and how it is going to stay like that.

If you get a cleaner in for a couple of hours a week she'll help you keep on top of it and it'll be worth the money.

Your kids are old enough to sort their school clothes out, and they can help you make their sandwiches for the following day whilst you're doing tea (even in a small kitchen).

and finally - re your embarrassment about visitors - remember the one's that care (about the state of your house) don't matter, and the one's that matter don't care.

Savvy_Sue

leiela wrote: »

They are 7 and 9 tbh they are good boy's and they do help out at weekends, but there is only so much they can do at thier age.

They help me sort out the washing and put it away, they just about manage to hoover, feed the cats and the odd bit of dusting that sort of thing, but they aren't really old enough to help with most things things like dishes, washing or ironing.

I beg to differ. That's the age for Cubs and Brownies - they may have dumbed down since my day, but we certainly had to be able to wash up, iron, and cook a basic meal to get some of our badges. My brother's meal was roast chicken, roast potatoes, and frozen peas. As my mum said, it was no harder than fish fingers and oven chips, it just takes longer! Yes, you'd probably want to get the hot stuff out of the oven yourself, but it's not hard!

My youngest also used to LOVE helping put the washing in and out of the machine too, especially playing with the washing powder. Although no-one irons anything in this house, certainly not for anyone but themselves!

And if the boys can do it, so can your husband. They could start cooking together before you get in as well: peeling veg for a slow cooker meal the next day, topping pizza bases for that night, spagehetti bolognese, or on a busy night putting fish fingers and chips into the oven - this is not rocket science!

You could 'practice' at weekends, do some of the batch cooking that's been suggested, draw up menu plans and cook a few things for the freezer.

As for the state of the house: those who mind, don't matter, and those who matter, don't mind. Although I was fairly relieved to hear that my sister's trip to see us tomorrow involves hitting the shops rather than coming to see my home! :rotfl: I wouldn't be sat typing if she was coming here! :rotfl:

littlemissmoney

Could you take a day off to blitz the house and get on top of everything? Once it's tidy you will be much less stressed and it's much easier to keep on top of it. You could then get a cleaner for a few hours a week?

Savvy_Sue

RedBern wrote: »

and finally - re your embarrassment about visitors - remember the one's that care (about the state of your house) don't matter, and the one's that matter don't care.

Great minds think alike - we cross posted! :rotfl:

Mrs_Boo_Boo

Fab support and tips so far. I have learnt through 16 years of marriage that my husband doesn't mind a bit if I ask him to do things. It doesn't work if you assume things will get done like putting washing on and expecting him to double guess that it needs putting out or starting the tea if he's home before me. Used save all my frustration up and rant and rave once in a while which resulted in a temporary change only. I ask in a matter of fact voice and it seems to work ok.he takes it all on board without taking offence.Good luck you deserve more relaxation.

leiela

Well i tried to have a word with the hubby last night, but he's not really being very responsive.

I didn't want him to feel like he was bieng attacked so i sat down and took the approch of "the house is a mess, WE need to talk about how we are going to get it straight, we are both at work all day and things are simply not getting done"

Well i was told we'd talk about it another day he was busy... :mad:

I took peoples advice i went and joined on the flylady's thread, yesterday was kitchen day so i did all the jobs on her list took about 2 hours finally crawled into bed at midnight ugh... got up this morning at 5am and did some of todays list.. ugh, and i've stuck a chicken in the slowcooker.

However in order to clean the worktops i had to do the dishes which are normally my husbands job, so i smiled nicely and asked him if he could hoover around the livingroom/hall and bedroom instead, i also told him his clean washing was on the bed and it needed putting away. (he has a terrible habit of dumping it in a pile in the corner then going bonkers when the cats sleep in it) He rolled his eyes and grunted :mad: I didn't want to push it so we'll see if it's done when i get home.

squirrelchops

Hi there.

Maybe you could rent my OH for a few days as he is better at the house work than I am!!

We are currently in the midst of DIY too and yesterday I siad to him ' so far I have coped but today the state of this house is really doing my head in'. I seem to have been constantly mopping the floor from dirty builder footprints and dusting as the plasterers just been too. We have had an extension built and the fall out from that is everywhere....AAAARRRGGHH!

Anyway, we had a huge blitz yesterday and now shall keep on top of it. I find i just have a quick go over everyday eg washing up or a load of washing or iron a few bits BUT do do a BLITZ once every 3 to 4 weeks.

I am studying too and told OH in no uncertain terms that when I go to work full time we will be having a cleaner! He is fine with that!!!!

squirrelchops

NB, my computer is in the spare room and I have noticed the thick player of dust on the headboard....will I dust it off.......probably not for another few weeks!!!!!

AND I should say our house is literally a building site that the carpet isn't hoovered....we sweep it with a yard broom! Not cleaning it's more like 'mucking out'!!!!!!!!!!

bank_of_slate

One of my tricks to help me get the housework done is to stick the radio on all over the house while I'm whizzing around doing everything.
I find I'm so distracted by the music - singing along and the discussions (radio 2) that I join in and sometimes shout at the radio that the time flies by, I don't notice and the work gets done without me even thinking about it.
...Linda xx

bestpud

leiela wrote: »

Well i tried to have a word with the hubby last night, but he's not really being very responsive.

I didn't want him to feel like he was bieng attacked so i sat down and took the approch of "the house is a mess, WE need to talk about how we are going to get it straight, we are both at work all day and things are simply not getting done"

Well i was told we'd talk about it another day he was busy... :mad:

I took peoples advice i went and joined on the flylady's thread, yesterday was kitchen day so i did all the jobs on her list took about 2 hours finally crawled into bed at midnight ugh... got up this morning at 5am and did some of todays list.. ugh, and i've stuck a chicken in the slowcooker.

However in order to clean the worktops i had to do the dishes which are normally my husbands job, so i smiled nicely and asked him if he could hoover around the livingroom/hall and bedroom instead, i also told him his clean washing was on the bed and it needed putting away. (he has a terrible habit of dumping it in a pile in the corner then going bonkers when the cats sleep in it) He rolled his eyes and grunted :mad: I didn't want to push it so we'll see if it's done when i get home.

I remember reading, in 'Men are from Mars', (or someting like that - I'm sure you know the book I mean?) that men will usually have a grunt and a moan if asked to do something but we should just ignore it as they are only having a whinge to themselves!

It's a long time since I read it but I think this is the gist:

It said to change 'can you' questions to 'will you' questions as we are not asking if they can do it (we know they can) but if they will do it.

Apparently the common sequence of events is wife says, 'can you wash the dishes' and bloke has a grumble so the wife retaliates by telling him not to bother, or gets the hump and goes into all the reasons she is rushed off her feet etc. He then gets irate and an argument and/or resentment ensues.

Whereas, if you ask them outright, and as if you expect them to do it (ie no I wonder if you could help me out/do me a favour type talk), and ignore the inevitable grumbling, they will actually get the job done eventually.

I have to say it worked a treat with my DH!