Not enough hours

xxlaurissaxx

Have you got any neices or nephews who could come around and give a hand and earn some pocket money. My dad used to work 13 hr shifts so every Friday Id hoover the stairs and do all the ironing (I was about 13) and id get £20 pocket money
We just learnt to tidy up after us but i suppose its alot different with young kids.
Why not advertise on gumtree for someone to iron once a week. They can collect it and drop it off?

xx

tiamai_d

leiela wrote: »

I've looked at that thread before but it confused me not that it takes much, it's such a big thread and im not sure what to do

It does start off like that, but really it's not, once you get the hang of it!

Pigoen and lil_me are lovely and you can PM them for advice.

How it works is.... Post 1 is updated daily with a list. EG, today is (or is usally) kitchen. Level 1 is what you would do every day, dishes, clean work tops, empty bins. Level 2 is clean fridge, clean floors. Level 3 is what I call a 'deep clean', cleaning the oven, the fronts of the cupboards and woodwork etc, cleanig out 1 or 2 cupboards.

The main thing is being able to cross stuff out. Once you do that you start to see just how much you do! I realised pretty soonish that I was tidying the living room several times a day when the kids messed it up and decided I'd stop doing that and only do it when they went to bed. Except for the stuff that needs cleaning up straight away. This gives me more time to clean the bathroom for example, and it still only takes 10mins to do the living room.

You can print off the weeks lists from an old thread, or make one of your own. Wriet down what you are actually doing, write down what needs doing every day - washing machine load, dry a load, iron a load, dishes, clean work tops, hoover, quick wipe of the bathroom etc. After you get into a routine of doing that you can usually find time for a half hour challenge, do as much as you can in half an hour, blare the music and run about, afterwards you reward yourself with a cuppa and a bickie!

I think most of us are in the same boat, we just don't like admitting it or letting folk know that our house is so tidy when they come to visit because we just ran around for 2 hours like idiots doing it!

smartpicture

leiela wrote: »

My husband try's to help by feeding the kids a snack earlier in the afternoon and by making sure all the dishes from breakfast etc are done

I've never understood this theory of being grateful for a husband who 'helps' - it's his house too, his mess too, his children too, therefore it's not solely your responsibility and his role is to help out occasionally, is it? What hours does your husband work? It should work out that between the two of you, you both work about the same number of hours per week, whether this 'work' consists of actually being at work, commuting time or doing housework. Does this happen in your house?

If it does, great. If it doesn't, then you both need to sit down and re-think attitudes. You may both have been happy for you to undertake most of the housework when you stayed at home, but obviously things have changed and you can't do everything. Have you talked to your husband, does he realise how much it is getting you down, because he can't be a mind-reader! A cleaner is definitely required, and it needs both of you to spend a weekend bringing things up to a basic level where you can get a cleaner in. But seriously, don't worry about getting it too good, because they will have seen worse. Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect at everything, there simply aren't enough hours in the day!

belfastgirl23

Ok first of all it is NOT free time if you're doing the shopping and housework :rolleyes: sorry to state the obvious but you sound so stressed!

Secondly online shopping really is convenient and well worth the money. They bring the stuff right into your kitchen and I've always found them really good for fresh stuff as well. And once your favourites are set up you're just pretty much ticking the same boxes over and over so even the ordering is fast after the first time.

thirdly re the washing have you considered service washes at a launderette, even if only for household linen? It would take a big burden off you. And it isn't as expensive as you think. I've done it quite often when we have visitors or have been on hol and come back with a load of dirty laundry. i don't like sending delicates but can happily send off the bulk of our clothes.

Fourthly I'd say leave the flylady thread for now and look at the flylady website baby steps
http://www.flylady.net/pages/begin_babysteps.asp
I found this really useful when I was trying to get a grip on household chores. And just do one thing at a time.

And finally, I do think your family should be engaged a bit more with things. But I do find with men you have to be very specific. So I find the can you do x while I do y approach works pretty well. Oh and praise them to the heavens for what they have done, even if there are still bits of muck hanging off it - you catch more flies with honey

BTW I too think that cleaners are paid to clean and that whilst you might think your house is dirty, they will have seen a lot worse (as long as there isn't too much in the way of bodily fluids around, :rolleyes: I think they draw the line there). Well worth even a one off investment cos I think you really need to cut yourself some slack right now!

Good luck!

leiela

Right now my house needs a nuke not a clean

Hubby is .... erm limited help, while i run around he sits on his !!!.. he's getting better he came from a spoiled upbringing 4 years ago he wouldn't have even done the dishes.

I'm working on him but it's slow the main problem is HIS idea of clean and MY idea of clean are very very different, followed by the fact that he just doens't THINK to clean, im sure he thinks fairy's do it. If i nag he'll do it...but i have to nag and half the time the nagging and fighting really wasn't worth it.

I'm gonna sit down with him tonight and give him "THE TALK" things have got to change, he's not a bad person it just doens't even enter his head that the house needs cleaning, i always did it because i was a housewife and it never really popped up on his radar... he went to work, i did the cleaning thats just the way it was for years.

Oldernotwiser

Definitely sounds as if the husband's the problem here; he's in earlier and does virtually nothing. What's more he's there for longer with the boys and they see him doing virtually nothing. He needs to take a lead in doing more in the house before the OP comes in and getting the boys to help. This'll not only save the OP's sanity but make her future DILs bless her as well!

Oldernotwiser

leiela wrote: »

I'm working on him but it's slow the main problem is HIS idea of clean and MY idea of clean are very very different,

Forget about this for now; even if it's only his idea of clean it'll be better than nothing and you can always get him to up his standards when he gets into the swing of things.

By the way, many cleaning companies offer a spring clean/pre/post house sale service, so I'd get them in to give the place a good going over and then level in the first place.

bestpud

Perhaps your DH would be more keen if you let him get on with it and didn't worry whether or not it met your standards?

If you look at it from his point of view for a moment: We are talking about a bloke who has been trained to sit on his butt and let others do the work; why would he bother if he can't get it right and/or you do it anyway?

As for your children, I imagine they don't meet your standards either? That will only put them off too.

Loosen up a little; there is more to life than a spotless house!

In terms of organisation, definitely consider a slow cooker - they are great! DH used to fill ours but I did have to leave specific instructions!

And for sandwich boxes, I make a load of sandwiches at a time and freeze them. Same with the sausage rolls/cocktail sausages etc dd likes in her lunch box. I buy a load and separate them into individual portions and freeze them.

I make up her drink while cooking tea and put it in the fridge, and if she is having chopped fruit, like melon, I put that ready in a pot at the same time.

In the morning it is just a case of grabbing the various elements and popping them in her lunchbox and she does that - she's 7. It is always defrosted by lunchtime and she doesn't need ice packs.

I've also trained her to put all her rubbish, especially yoghurt pots, into her empty sandwich bag so her lunch bag only needs a good wipe daily and a proper wash at the weekend (it goes in the washing machine once a week).

She gets her own pile of school clothes ready in the evening and gets herself dressed etc in the morning. She polishes her own school shoes in the evening, if they need it - she actually gets very cross if I don't let her!

Can you cut down on ironing? And maybe washing? And do they need a bath every night?

My nan always said housework will be their tomorrow no matter what, but you cannot guarantee your family or friends will be. She actually died on the way home from a night dancing - she was 84 and we have pictures of her happily dancing away an hour before she died.

When we went to her house the next day, she'd left her dirty cup by her chair and the dirty dishes on the drainer, plus a dirty towel on the bathroom floor... You get the picture?

I guess she could have stayed in and cleaned her house instead of going out that night, and the house would have looked nicer. We wouldn't have had to deal with dirty dishes and the like, but I don't need to tell you which we'd have chosen, given the chance do I?

Take a deep breath and let some of it go.

neet87

leiela wrote: »

I'm working on him but it's slow the main problem is HIS idea of clean and MY idea of clean are very very different, followed by the fact that he just doens't THINK to clean, im sure he thinks fairy's do it. If i nag he'll do it...but i have to nag and half the time the nagging and fighting really wasn't worth it.

Ahhhh the fairys- a very common misconception that my OH is also under! I completely get where your coming from. I can ask my OH to help out as much as I like but its until I have a full blown go at him that he will listen, do something then feel that he has helped enough for the rest of the year...

liney

Batch cooking! spend a an afternoon once a month cooking up bolognaise, cottage pie, curry, soups, etc and freeze so that when you get home all you have to do is heat up and add the veg or carbs. Hubby can peel spuds i'm guessing. Never, ever cook one meal: cook once eat twice.

Get a table top dishwasher.

Wipe over the bathroom as the kids are bathing each night.

Put in your washing in the morning before work and have your husband hang it to dry when he gets home.

Packed lunches are made for everyone when the potato's/pasta is boiling for tea.

Buy more uniform and have 2 PE kits. Don't stress about whether you have enough clean shirts, or trousers. Yes it is abit more expensive, but it means you can wash and iron it all at the weekend, or as and when you fit it in and not have mid week panics.