Not enough hours

nat82

One thing that I've started doing that has been a great help is to get someone to do my ironing for me. The person I use charges £18.99 for 40 items but I'm sure you can get someone cheaper. They collect it from the house and drop it off ironed, on hangers and in plastic coverings. I mostly use them to do our stuff ( I hate ironing OHs shirts!) as it doesn't take too long to iron over the kids stuff. I've also started being ruthless with things that can get away without getting ironed which has cut down the pile! Have a look on your local Netmums website as our one has numerous people listed - it's a great way for stay at home mums to make some extra money.

I can vouch for batch cooking as well - this has saved lots of time and money (which you could put towards your ironing lady!). The amount we spent on takeaways the days I worked was scary - all because OH didn't have time to cook anything/forgot to take something out etc. Now all he has to do is heat it up or take it out of the slow cooker. We've have started to mealplan for the month and do a monthly online shop and just pick up fressh fruit veg etc week to week, maybe something you could do in your lunchtime to save you time at weekends?

I've also dropped a couple of shifts a month as well however we've had to tighten our belts alot to allow this to happen but generally the stress levels around cleaning and housework have dropped. Although you might not be in a position to do that.

I hope things improve for you and hubby - talk to him and let him know how down you feel about it all.

Take care.

x x x

Loretta

Husband helping has got to stop, husband doing his fair share is how it has to be.

Make some lists, what he has to do regularly when he comes home from work. If there are things he can't do make those your jobs but I am sure there is plenty he can do and he will have to do it without moaning and without being aksed twice, he doeslive there and he is an adult. Say what has to be done, turn round, avoid eye contact and leave the room. He can moan at himself thern.

This situation cannot go on as you will feel not only worn out but resentful and justifiably so. There is no way you should be so busy and so stressed and rushed off your feet while he is sitting down, that is awful.

Get it sorted before you get really angry and begin to wonder why our are running around after not only 2 chldren but a fully grown man

elkay115

I am shocked that so many people on here have suggested getting a cleaner or someone to do the ironing. And to go 'gently gently' with ASKING the husband to do some housework!!

Men are adults!! Men know exactly how to clean just like women do, it isn't exactly rocket science!!

Someone even said on this post give him specific instructions, because assuming that he will know when washing needs taken out machine etc isn't going to work. How on earth not? Is he blind? If so then yes, tell him there is clothes needing taken out the machine because he won't be able to see them in there obviously, but if he isn't blind, then he will be able to see when clothes need taken out. Just like he will know that people need to eat a meal every evening and that it won't cook itself!
I would be TELLING him that if he wants clean clothes, wants to eat a meal etc, then he had best get his finger out and get on with it then.

bestpud

elkay115 wrote: »

I am shocked that so many people on here have suggested getting a cleaner or someone to do the ironing. And to go 'gently gently' with ASKING the husband to do some housework!!

Men are adults!! Men know exactly how to clean just like women do, it isn't exactly rocket science!!

Someone even said on this post give him specific instructions, because assuming that he will know when washing needs taken out machine etc isn't going to work. How on earth not? Is he blind? If so then yes, tell him there is clothes needing taken out the machine because he won't be able to see them in there obviously, but if he isn't blind, then he will be able to see when clothes need taken out. Just like he will know that people need to eat a meal every evening and that it won't cook itself!
I would be TELLING him that if he wants clean clothes, wants to eat a meal etc, then he had best get his finger out and get on with it then.

I quite agree in principle but some men are very stubborn, especially the ones who have had everything done for them.

And sometimes confrontation us the last thing people want/need.

Plus a meal needs to be cooked for the children. It's not like the OP only has her and her OH to worry about.

I certainly don't think it should be looked on as him doing her a favour though - I know I wouldn't have that!

belfastgirl23

I agree with bestpud, it is really tricky to start making demands in a relationship no matter how justified they are. I understand where people are coming from with the whole fairness issue and I agree with them but the thing is this approach doesn't work. It just digs you both into a hole. I think you handled it reasonably well OP, it's certainly more the approach I would take.

The other advice I'd say is to think very carefully about what tasks you prioritise. In my case, DH is much fussier about floors than me so I just don't do'em at all. They will bother him a long time before they bother me. Is there stuff that matters to him that you could just not get time to do? not in a make a big fuss way but in a 'sorry didn't get to it' way. It might help make the point subtly.

Bribery can also work, eg if we can get this done then we can open a bottle of wine or watch a film together or whatever.

I am curious though, just what is your DH doing? It is relevent. EG if he's off working then the situation is a bit different than if he is playing on his Wii and might require different strategies....

Zazen999

elkay115 wrote: »

I am shocked that so many people on here have suggested getting a cleaner or someone to do the ironing.

I got a cleaner because I don't like doing it...and I earn significantly more than a cleaner so it is very MSE for someone efficient to clean rather than me spend my time doing it.

The rest we share - natch.

elkay115

Zazen999 wrote: »

I got a cleaner because I don't like doing it...and I earn significantly more than a cleaner so it is very MSE for someone efficient to clean rather than me spend my time doing it.

The rest we share - natch.

I was talking about people who were suggesting getting a cleaner, rather than 'asking' her hubby to 'help'.

Nothing at all to do with whether it was MSE or not.

I have no idea what natch means.

Zazen999

elkay115 wrote: »

I was talking about people who were suggesting getting a cleaner, rather than 'asking' her hubby to 'help'.

Nothing at all to do with whether it was MSE or not.

I have no idea what natch means.

Naturally...natch.

ethelsmum

I have recently started doing my shopping online and wish I had done it sooner - saves so much time and is much less stressful - it is well worth the delivery charge (although even better when you can find a free delivery code). I spend a lot less too as not tempted by offers and kids and oh aren't sneaking things in the trolley we don't need.
Oh does a lot of the daily chores - washing pots/emptying dishwasher, hoovering, polishing etc - as he works shifts so is usually home for a couple of hours a day while I'm at work and kids are at school - this means the house is generally clean and tidy when I get home and I just do a thorough clean on my day off.
I would love a cleaner but can not afford one.

Savvy_Sue

squirrelchops wrote: »

NB, my computer is in the spare room and I have noticed the thick player of dust on the headboard....will I dust it off.......probably not for another few weeks!!!!!

I think it was Quentin Crisp who observed that the dust doesn't get any thicker after about 5 years. I think he may be right ...