The Thrifty Gifty Girls 2009 (Organised & Money Neutral for All Occasions) #3

mhagster

can I just add, I have came in from work and the 'I'm so up for a challenge girl, bring it on..' has NOT done my bedrooms!
Very disappointed!

sylphraven

Rusty, what ever is decided you will cope, because you have to, because you have done before. Could this job lead to something that would be closer to home? or in an area you'd be willing to move to? Also, would this job give him his confidence back & make him feel better?

We know you'll make the right decision for the family & will be here to support you what ever you choose.

RustyFlange

mhagster wrote: »

RUSTY: My husband work away from home and while it's not what I would choose it is how his career has developed and the department he works for. It is not always easy ,in fact is often hard but you do manage. My kids and I work as a team when he's away and they were young when he started working abroad. i have low periods when he is away usually as you get to the midpoint and then you start looking forward again..........and then they come home and all the little annoying habits you had forgotten about when they were away........are back! You have to re-adjust to not being the only adult making all the decisions and they get a list of jobs you need doing!

All the time I have people saying 'I don't know how you manage' or 'I'd hate that' but it is your life and think how you have financially struggled recently the money would be so useful and save you from ebaying the kids. His job means we live in a nice house and I can work part time. His job also means I have to drag my children to supermarket everytime and nights out are curtailed as I maybe need babysitters for something else. I think in this day and age work is work and money is money so go for it. You will have us here to keep you sane (hahahahaha!) and bring you up when you are feeling down.

Ultimately the decision is yours and your OH's to make but I hope this has been of some help to you
Mx

Right firstly I want to thank you all for the replies, I can't quote each one individually but have thanked them.

Ok bit of background info ....

I met OH, fell in love with him stupidly quick, fell pregnant stupidly quick (2 weeks) yes I am a slapper :rotfl: ... he left me when I was 12 weeeks pregnant ... didn't have any contact til DD was 4 days old, then couldn't keep him away, I gave him a second chance, we got back together on fathers day 2007 (DD was 3 weeks old) However we lived 360 miles apart so was used to living on my own and had been for approx 5 years,, we had problems with OH cheating, although he will refuse it, I have all the proof I need, I then lost a baby and he stopped all contact with these girls (not sure why? guilt maybe?) anyway ,... I moved up here March 2008 and things have been good, he was working away but was always home at weekends, (found out he was cheating again, I lwent crazy not as in smacked him etc but crazy as in couldn't think straight etc etc) Anyway he saw what a mess I was and gave up the job down there and relocated to home (I didn't ask him to do this) then he lost his job in Jan .... and still out of work now ....

Ok so he says he would love to go for this job, you can tell he would love to, but he doesn't want to be away for so long (his words not mine) I feel really selfish that I feel so horrible about him even wanting to take it as I feel like I couldn'y be on my own with 2 kids (mainly DD cause she can really be a handful) and also have no support from him, even a break for an hour etc. I have told him this and he understands ... Also I would have to give up my job as OH has the kids for the 4 hours on a sat night that I work. The job may not sound like a lot but I love my job and it provides me with freedom so I feel a bit like I will be imprisoned. I never go out (nights out etc) mainly cause I feel so guilty for leaving the children and panic that whoever is looking after them will harm them (No I know no one will harm them but I can't stop feeling the way I do)

Anyway enough of my life story ... am I selfish?

We are off over to the inlaws tonight, OH and I have decided to speak to his dad and step mum about this opportunity, see if we can work out some kind of support structure or something for me. The only other option would be for me to spend weekends travelling to and from the midlands visiting, but it all costs money which yes there will be a lot available it would be better paying off credit cards etc etc which would make life more comfortable after?

I have told him that it is his choice, but he needs to realise it can't just be his decision and that there are other people involved, i.e me and the kids.

Grrr I feel so awful feeling like I am holding him back!

chocolate.orange_2

Aww Rusty... I havent posted a few days or replied to PMs ( will do i promise) But i had to reply to you...

I dont think you are being sellfish at all hunny... Theres alot that has happened in the past and unfortunately he has to live with the consiquences, so to speak... Whilst he would love to do this job... Maybe its abit far to 'be away from home'..... Everyone will give you different advise... Some may be the same... But at the end of the day hunny.. Its only you and OH who can make this hard decision..

Ive been in a fairly similar situation.... years ago though and its very hard which ever way you both decide to go

Sending you huuuuge hugs xxx

Alternatively you can give 'us' in midlands his address where he will be staying and we can be your spies :rotfl: muwhaahahahaha

scattymam1

mel - I so can't wait til next rudolph day for our challenges - I want a challenge now!!! I guess I can be getting all christmas stuf together.

bikerchick1066

Just lost my great long post so briefly, leaving job today, four days off, going to the Range tomorrow

Challenge total is £284.36

Bring on Christmas!

paddingtondoo

Budgie update on my blog - deffo looking much cuter now.

Made another £2 towards the challenge today so will be relegated to the Padster formally known as Thrifty :rotfl: but on a plus point have finally nagged enough so OH is building my new laptop so I should have full eBaying facilities shortly better late than never.

Had long discussion with my OH and he's promised that if he takes this new job he will go out of the house sometimes I finally managed to front up and tell him I would brain him if he was here 24/7. The only thing we will really need to sort is a car as he has a company one at the mo but as it costs a fortune in tax it should be fine.

I really feel for you Rusty - it's a major decision to make for you both but things always work out for the best I've found - he's not been for the interview yet and you never know something else may pop up in the meantime

SugarSpun

Bah.

I'm writing the thank you notes for our wedding, two months late. I'm a terrible person. And my hand is sore and I'm only halfway through. I could be all cramped and exhausted by the end! Still though, a friend of mine sent a "Thanks for the presents" text to everyone in her phone as she was leaving for her honeymoon. Even messy writing is better than that, surely?

jamtart6

Any more for any more ladies????????

Have not read the thread today, but thank you for all the PMs I have had, you have all made a huge effort and I iz really proud of you all :T:T:T

4 hours 34 minutes until challenge closes, do what you can!!! :A

jamtart6

Can you all check the following totals are correct, if not please PM me asap.........(mistakes cannot be rectified once you have left the shop :rotfl:)

Bunbun2 = £211.30,
Rainmac = £325.52,

Skiergirl = £246.65,

bikerchick = £284.36

RustyFlange = £522.41

scattymam1 = £145.13,

hayley11 = £114.86,
Paddingtondoo = £25

Rufusdog = £146,

cbsexec = £160.50* think this is wrong see PM

SylphRaven = £52.37,

Orchid-96 = £43.11

Have I missed anyone? Please PM if so!