oh no help please

astonsmummy

kelloggs36 wrote: »

This could be argued as being part of the reason why society is so accepting of the idea that it doesn't matter what you do, as the taxpayer will pick up the tab; don't take any responsibility for your actions, as the taxpayer will bail you out! This is what I believe Krisscross is saying. Perhaps if we were a little more judgemental, the country wouldn't be in such dire straits as it is now. I have been stupid in the past, but I have always paid for my own mistakes.

I know why she is saying what she is saying but as has been pointed out, this board is NOT the place to air such views.

astonsmummy

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But when your private actions have public repercussions, the situation changes somewhat.

Nope, sorry what goes on in another persons bedroom is none of my business, I'm a bloody tax payer myself!

icouldcry

ok again thanks for the replies its good to see both sides just pity people feel in the position to judge. let me tell you a few things first:
1 i had a job from when i was 16 and left school and have worked non-stop for 10 years, i got paid off at christams as the company went bust - thats how i ended up on income support (i was working even when i was a single parent)
2 i had thought of all my options and abortion isnt one of them, i proberly couldnt anyway as i live in NI so theres a compleatly different laws here.
3 im not planning on staying on income support for the rest of my life but who on earth is going to employ someone who is pregnant.

again thanks for the replies

jennie09

icouldcry wrote: »

ok again thanks for the replies its good to see both sides just pity people feel in the position to judge. let me tell you a few things first:
1 i had a job from when i was 16 and left school and have worked non-stop for 10 years, i got paid off at christams as the company went bust - thats how i ended up on income support (i was working even when i was a single parent)
2 i had thought of all my options and abortion isnt one of them, i proberly couldnt anyway as i live in NI so theres a compleatly different laws here.
3 im not planning on staying on income support for the rest of my life but who on earth is going to employ someone who is pregnant.

again thanks for the replies

I really hope everything goes well for you, you do not have to justify yourself to anyone on these boards, it is your life, it is a shame some of the other posters on here that have judged you can not see that, this thread was created by yourself for advice, and i hope you feel that you have found the advice you were seeking and please do not let others influence your decision with anything you may or may not do with your life in the future.

OrkneyStar

icouldcry wrote: »

ok again thanks for the replies its good to see both sides just pity people feel in the position to judge. let me tell you a few things first:
1 i had a job from when i was 16 and left school and have worked non-stop for 10 years, i got paid off at christams as the company went bust - thats how i ended up on income support (i was working even when i was a single parent)
2 i had thought of all my options and abortion isnt one of them, i proberly couldnt anyway as i live in NI so theres a compleatly different laws here.
3 im not planning on staying on income support for the rest of my life but who on earth is going to employ someone who is pregnant.

again thanks for the replies

You don't have to justify yourself. People will always jump to conclusions, perhaps if they had this info at the start they would not (although you are correct in that they don't NEED to know this!). I was not sure what I thought of your initial posts but this post has made me see things a bit differently :rolleyes:.
All the best, be the best mum you can (but just quietly, 'daddy' does not seem the best choice there, lets hope he bucks his ideas up with the new bubs.). Join your local freecycle, go to charity shops etc, so that you can stretch any money you do get. Also make sure you get your increased Child Benefit, Child Tax Credit, Health in Pregancy Grant and Sure Start Maternity Grant.

krisskross

mandi wrote: »

As for paying tax , are you seriously saying that someone recieving benefit is better off than a solicitor http://www.prospects.ac.uk/cms/ShowPage/Home_page/Explore_types_of_jobs/Types_of_Job/p!eipaL?state=showocc&idno=393&pageno=2

Perhaps you should reread my post, that is not what I said at all. I will suggest however that professional people like solicitors have rather different aspirations for their children than a council flat, benefits and state education. This is why they limit their family to just those they can provide for.

fairplay4u

OP I too found myself being made redundant when I was pregnant with my first, that was many moons ago and I now have 2 children, a lovely home ( rented but i pay full rent myself) and well respected job so I can support myself and my kids. I got a job when my 1st child was 13 mths old, just the same as maternity leave so as you have helped others in the past by paying taxes then current taxpayers can help you.
You can do really well for yourself and have a lovely bright future, IS is a gd safety net for the time being & thank God we have it in NIreland!!!!
You don't need to explain yourself to anyone, especially ppl who look down at anyone who find themselves claiming benefits. Don't waste your time or energy.
I know its daunting but Motherhood is so rewarding and having a new baby will be great company for your older child, Good luck & best wishes.

fairplay4u

krisskross wrote: »

Perhaps you should reread my post, that is not what I said at all. I will suggest however that professional people like solicitors have rather different aspirations for their children than a council flat, benefits and state education. This is why they limit their family to just those they can provide for.

Your not a very nice person & just to point out my parents are a GP and a Barrister, I went to university and got my degree in Business none of this makes me immune to benefits. Get off your high horse, the word snob spring to mind :rolleyes:
You have no right to judge anyone, this is a thread to help and give advice not insult the OP who asked for advice on claiming IS in her current sitiuation.

OrkneyStar

krisskross wrote: »

Perhaps you should reread my post, that is not what I said at all. I will suggest however that professional people like solicitors have rather different aspirations for their children than a council flat, benefits and state education. This is why they limit their family to just those they can provide for.

I grew up in a Council House, Dad was bus driver, Mum was a housewife/cleaner. I have two degrees (one being a PhD) and sister has a degree and professional qualifcation. Both parents encouraged us.
You cannot be so judgemental as to say that someone has higher aspirations for their child just because they have a better paid, or seemingly more important, career!
Sorry OP, I know this post will not be of much help to you but I really felt the need to speak up against such judgemental drivel!

krisskross

OrkneyStar wrote: »

I grew up in a Council House, Dad was bus driver, Mum was a housewife/cleaner. I have two degrees (one being a PhD) and sister has a degree and professional qualifcation. Both parents encouraged us.
You cannot be so judgemental as to say that someone has higher aspirations for their child just because they have a better paid, or seemingly more important, career!
Sorry OP, I know this post will not be of much help to you but I really felt the need to speak up against such judgemental drivel!

You had two parents, both worked. Nothing at all like career single mothers on benefits who have as many children as they like knowing the taxpayer will fund them. My point was if you are having to pay for everything yourself , from the roof over your head, to every shred of clothing, to every morsel of food then you only have what you can afford to pay for thus have to limit your family to as many children as you can personally afford to bring up in the manner you want to.

Trouble is no one is allowed to be judgemental anymore, no one is allowed to say you shouldn't be doing that. No one is allowed to say you should work and support yourself and your family. Why not? Why should people be able to do exactly as they like without any repercussions?