If things get tougher?

parsonswife8

brila wrote: »

I mean more the freecycle than the area. I get rude emails, stalkers and once went to collect something from (I thought a woman, but turned out to be) three blokes who wanted me to come into the house and leave my son outside to collect the small item they had offered. In these circumstances I choose not to use our freecycle group, but understand that other groups are better policed/moderated or just full of more pleasant people. I don't live in a bad area at all, and most people are just fine. But freecycle is not a goer and people are slow to cooperate in a community fashion - partly because the media is always telling us we are about to get fleeced by hoodies and scamsters, and partly because there are a lot of people here who think or like other people to think that they are well-off. Fear and pride kills community spirit in my humble opinion.

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Gosh brila, those three blokes don't sound too kosher!
I don't blame you for feeling as you do. It could have ended up being a very dangerous situation for you. I wonder how many other women they have tried enticing into their house.
:eek: :eek:

Caterina

Adding to what Parsonswife said: I hope you reported them to the Freecycle admin!

Caterina

brila

Yes, but no replies from the admin/mods about that or the rude emails. Offered some empty formula tins (very useful those are too) and got an ear-bashing from people about how I was poisoning my baby (I was breastfeeding, but had some formula on prescription too) and also had a few nutters asking me to send them pictures of myself with various offered items. I think the group has been abandonned and has now run amok with undesireables which in turn has put off anyone who might have a postiive use for it. Never mind. Our local free-ads paper (Friday Ad) is very good for "Wanted" and "Free to Collector" ads, so I use that now.

parsonswife8

brila wrote: »

Yes, but no replies from the admin/mods about that or the rude emails. Offered some empty formula tins (very useful those are too) and got an ear-bashing from people about how I was poisoning my baby (I was breastfeeding, but had some formula on prescription too) and also had a few nutters asking me to send them pictures of myself with various offered items. I think the group has been abandonned and has now run amok with undesireables which in turn has put off anyone who might have a postiive use for it. Never mind. Our local free-ads paper (Friday Ad) is very good for "Wanted" and "Free to Collector" ads, so I use that now.

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What a shame. There are always a few, who spoil it for the rest, aren't there?

brila

If things get tougher... well things are now so here is my short action plan going forward:-

1. Cancelling internet tomorrow
2. No heating at home during the day - will try to be out with toddler as much as possible. Outdoors running about wrapped up, or in heated public places like toddler groups, library, considering volunteering at old people's home (they always seem pretty warm!).
3. Working over the winter to double the size of our veg plot - OH moans about cutting the grass, so...
4. Cunning plan to try to do fortnightly shop every 18 days. Some eke-ing and a bit of cunning required.
5. Professional carpetbagging steps up several notches. I almost have enough cashback-site money for a new boiler. Once in place, can I fund all my gas/electric bills with free money? I hope so.
6. Going skip-ing twice a week instead of once and venturing further afield.

Is anyone trying some new ideas?

kersplatt

Morning ladies - I've been lurking over the past week whilst DD has been on half term as I had no time to post, but hurrah she's back at school!

Brila - yep definately getting tougher here. Unfortunately I'm down to statutory maternity pay for the third month now and all our money reserves have gone. I had planned to be back at work by now but my old boss has done something of a stitch up on my maternity status so I can't work until December 1st - great in that I get to spend more time with DS but not great in that £486 will not cover our bill payments. I have found myself in a position I have never been in before, I had to withdraw cash on my credit card - oh the shame, never have I had to do that, I even had to defrost my cards to do it.

Fortunately I need virtually nothing food wise thanks to my well stocked cupboards and freezer which is one thing to be thankful for. The only immediate things we might need are milk and fresh fruit. Thank heavens for breastfeeding - I'd be forking out a fortune right now if I wasn't!

Our local freecycle asks for the most bizarre things - someone placed an ad wanting a caravan last week - it even had a request for specific dimensions!!!

Caterina

brila wrote: »

Offered some empty formula tins (very useful those are too) and got an ear-bashing from people about how I was poisoning my baby (I was breastfeeding, but had some formula on prescription too)

Goodness Brila how awful - I am 100% committed to breastfeeding, former doula and breastfeeding counsellor, but I am also human and a mum, and I get horrified to hear some of the Breast Nazis capers! They do not have the right to intrude in your life and offer unwanted "advice", or judge you - I hope you did not let them bother you too much.

brila wrote: »

If things get tougher... well things are now so here is my short action plan going forward:-

1. Cancelling internet tomorrow
...

Ah, so sorry that things are so bad that you are cancelling the internet - consider this as a really last resort as internet gives you such a source of info, for work, freebies, all sorts of things that makes a skint situation a bit more bearable. If you really must, I hope you will log on sometimes from libraries and come and visit the OS forum again!

All the best,

Caterina

kersplatt

Brila & Caterina - Lactivists are a nightmare. As if being a mum isn't hard enough, making you feel inadequate because you use formula is just not on. I used formula from 4mths with DD - I'm only breastfeeding now because I'm still at home and I'm too disorganised to make bottles up! That said the box of formula is in the cupboard ready for when I go back to work.
I think the worst part about people criticizing (sp?) mums using formula is that it hurts most when you have desperately wanted to breastfeed and not been able to for whatever reason. If you have decided not to breastfeed for your own reasons you are better equipped to defend yourself against such horrible comments.

kersplatt

Brila - could you not switch your internet to get a free service provider? Just because there are so many good deals if you're out of contract. We pay £5 a month for our broadband with Orange.

D&DD

I might have to post and edit this as MSE knocks me off when I waffle too long lol...

When I found MSE we were overspending by around £420 a month:eek: and on our 4th..or might have been 5th consolidation loan!
I spent a looong time on the DFW board reading and learning,bought Martins book and started rejigging our finances from scratch.

I've managed to find about £800 a month 'surplus' by doing this.*Its not really surplus but its a rejig of the money we were spending on minimum CCard repayments...
First I cut out all the luxuries which,frankly we wasted money on..Mobile phone contracts,sky,insurances etc..
I also found when I actually bothered to start reading through some of our paperwork that OH was covered through work for a lot of things we were paying out for!!
So I cancelled our PPI's on the 2 loans we had which gave us around £5k back which we had paid already,we knocked this off the loans.

Then I started looking at options to pay the debts off because we had erm...subprime cards etc our interest rates were terrible 17%,27% etc.
I cut up the cards and looked around for the best solution while concentrating on getting our spending under control.We went back to cash for everything apart from the bills which go out by DD.

Finally after about 6 months of reorganising and getting the spending under control,lobbing any spare pennies off the smaller debts (with the higher interest rates using the snowballing method see details on DFW board)we were left with 2 loans at 13% and 18% and 3 cards at 27 and 29% soooooo I bit the bullet and after approaching our bank (HSBC) we arranged yet another loan for the remaining debt BUT at 6.9% and over only 24 months..so in effect we are saving money on the interest we would have paid if we had left it on the cards..


I did think long and hard about this as everyone says NOOOOO when consolidation is mentioned and we had been there done that so many times before...
The difference this time however was that we had addressed our overspending and we actually UPPED our monthly payments rather than as we had done in the past with loans,done it to lower repayments.

The result was one loan over 24 months (which is the one in our sig) and light at last, at the end of the tunnel
We've had to be REALLY disciplined due to a few minor disasters and the temptation is ALWAYS there once you have had a problem of living above your means..but so far so good.

When the loan is paid up we plan to put the money into a savings account...our bank manager will probably faint lol

I can't say it's been easy..I'm used to going without but to have to say to the boys (we have 3) no we can't afford it etc is heartbreaking..not that they'd ever go without what they NEED... TBH though,they are all so good with money I think it may have taught them a valuable life lesson to see me and their Dad in this mess..
God I have waffled haven't I lol..
Hope some of that helps anyway
D XX