Little sis doesn't pay any rent to parents

Short-n-Sweet

Random question, but OP what were you doing at your sisters age ?

Did you go to uni, etc ?

Short-n-Sweet

Sorry been up for nearly 24 hours, i must not have taken that bit in.

Surely if your parents saw this as a problem, they would have told her to pack her bags by now ? The email she sent was very RUDE and i wouldnt ever expect anyone to speak about there parents in such a disrespectful way, seems to me lil sis feels she has missed out on something and craves attention.

Marg

Be very careful - in my experience of tackling such sensitive family issues they usually come back & bite YOU on the b*m. And certainly this needs dealing with face to face not in writing.

I'd take her reply about the will with a pinch of salt maybe, just maybe, she was feeling a bit guilty & hit back at you in the only way she knows. via money - selfish.

What does your brother have to say - does he agree with you?

Perhaps next time you see/talk to parents you could talk 'in a general way' about what happens when parents die (create a pretend situation with a friend of yours IYSWIM) & ask if they have made wills so as the eldest you'd know what they wanted you to do. The answer may surprise you. This way you wouldn't appear to be anticipating any personal benefit?

At 60ish they are young enough to deal with this sensilbly and your conversation may lead on to the other topics which are bothering you.
Hope this helps......Good Luck

margaretclare

I hate people who assume that they have an inheritance. Hate it, hate it! You do see this expressed an awful lot on this site and on others, often couched in the words 'how can I preserve my inheritance if my parents' house needs to be sold for them to pay for long-term residential care?'

No one has a God-given right to an inheritance and your parents may well need all their assets for themselves and their own comfort and choice in time to come. None of us can see what's around the corner. An inheritance does not exist until someone is dead.

Your parents, probably with the best of intentions, have brought up a selfish little monster, as others have said. It's not too late for them to see it differently and to change. Your sister has been loved and cared for all those years - sounds as if she sees it as a penance living with parents? Well, if it's so hard, she should go and see if she can rent a flat. THEN she'd see if she had to 'pay to live in her own home'! From deposit, key money, food and bills, she'd soon see what is involved. My eldest GD could tell her - she lives in a little council flat and she budgets to the last penny.

tattoed_bum

omg how selfish now even if she gets the house when they are gone ,how is she going to manage to pay the bills that goes with it ,gas electric,council tax etc.
and as for putting up with them for 24 yrs who does she think helped her as a child ,who changed her nappies who fed her kept her warm.
she seems like a right little madam

Thriftysaver

Your lil sis does sound like a selfish little madam. As Margaretclare has stated inheritance is not a right. My children know this. Hopefully, if God spares us when my oh and I retire we'll start having a life (together), and if that means selling the house, either for a smaller one or to go into private landlord and travelling (wishful thinking) then so be it. My children as I say know this.

My oh and I have worked hard for this house, so it's OURS and we will do with it what we want.

Our job was to teach the kids the same work ethic. To pay their way and to look after themselves. I think we've achieved this.

Maybe this is another option you could put to your parents. Sell up and enjoy the money (when savings rate picks back up so as to live off interest).

Make sure lil sis leaves beforehand though because once exchange of contracts sis will have to sign as a tenant (huh tenants pay rent) to say she will leave property.

Maybe this option is a longshot because I say this and may have a change of heart at leaving my home, and your parents possibly feel the same.

I just think it's a shame when you get to retirement and struggle and then you have a selfish daughter who adds to that struggle and can't see that they have done their duty to all you children and they 'owe her nothing'. The sooner they see this the easier it will be for them.

Triggles

I know this frustrates you, but as selfish as your sister sounds like she is being (I had a sister like that who has finally grown up some now), your parents are adults and (I'm assuming) of sound mind. They have the right to do what they wish with their money.

Now, if your main concern is your father's health, maybe you can speak to both your parents and tell them you are concerned about his health and what his work hours are taking out of him. If you discuss this with your sister present, maybe you can suggest in front of your parents that she assist financially while she is living there so that your dad can cut his hours. But I would be more inclined to approach it from the "I'm concerned about your health - blast everything else - you need to cut down your hours!" rather than "my sister is taking the mick" if you see what I mean. They're probably going to be much more open to discussing his health concerns than her selfish ways.

madmalteaser

Ooh, that response just makes me want to grind my teeth and if that was my younger sister she'd get a serious talking to about it as well.

I left home at 19 with barely a penny in my pocket, I had just enough for my first months rent. Luckily I had fab parents who helped me out with stocking up my cupboards with food for the first month and buying me some basics like bedding and toiletries. Since then I have never asked them for anything and I always go out of my way to treat them to nice dinners when I see them, I always call them so they don't use their phone bill (they live overseas) and send them nice presents as and when I can afford them. My sister also paid her way when she finally started working and has now moved out.

If she had been like your sister I would have had to give her a piece of my mind. I completely agree with margaretclare in that inheritance is not a right, nor is it her right to presume to live in that house free of charge. If she's earning a living then she should be paying her way, and it's down to your parents to tell her that.

I'd be tempted to show them her email too, just so they know what a horrible little madam they are bringing up and paying out for!

duchy

I can see why you'd not show your parents such a hurtful email-but I'd definitely consider showing it to your brother and asking his opinion.

melancholly

Princess_Jane wrote: »

God hard work being the oldest.

if it helps, i'm the youngest watching my parents subsidise a sibling's lifestyle. theypays something, but when their basic outgoings on rent/bills/council tax etc are a fifth of mine (similar area) it bites. but they 'need' to save a deposit for a house....clearly i don't?!

i wouldn't get too involved - i've tried and it gets ugly very quickly if i don't tiptoe around the issue. my parents are 'happy' with the situation (and i have to switch off when they talk about how expensive everything is - there's one easy way they could cover bills more easily!) and it seems a lot of families have one child who just lives by different rules. i can't change that and i don't want to ruin my relationship with my parents as a result..... i also avoid being in the house as the urge to slap my sibling is very strong - and tbh i think your sister needs one too, but it may only make things worse if you give it to her!