Buffy's 18 week credit card free challenge

beanielou

Awwwww Buffy sending you lots & lots of huggles hunxxxxxxxxxx

Buffythedebtslayer

I found two job which I am going to apply for,

I just feel so bad guys. I don't know how to explain it. I can't honestly think what else to say or how get through to people( in real life) how uterly worthless and weak I feel.

I am pleased the debt is going down. thats good. and I mean it is. orginally it was something like 24 000. my changes are sticking there is progress.

the thing that worries me about work is that I got it so wrong. I thought it would be an ok lesson and he really thought it wasn't.

and for the first time in my life I am faced with literally doing my job the job I once loved purely and simply for the money. I am really not sure its enough.

but it will bring eventualy freedom and choice.

I need to think
thnak you it means such a lot to come on here and "see" you all

love Buffyxxxx

chevalier

Sorry but so what is new.

This is the guy who picks on you and has a inferiourity complex that makes him belittle you all the time anyway. So why do you think t hat he would think your lesson was ok.

the guy is a git, well he is worse than that but I don't think it will get past the swear censor lol.

You are going to have to be really careful here Buffy cos otherwise you are going to make yourself seriously ill. Ie ill enough that you are off for months not days. So start being kind to yourself. Stick to your plans, and validate to yourself that they were the right plans (they are). This guy is doing NOTHING for your self esteem, you are being worn down by the whole set up.

So keep going forward with the plans, take one day, one piece of marking at a time. If you prevaricate it will only get worse. You need to complete the marking, the little challenges to set up a positive feedback loop, cos at the moment it all seems very negative.

Sorry I am rambling now. So will leave it with I am worried about you, take it as easy as you can. Oh and I am going to have a look at the running too......
chev

beanielou

Buffy~ I so do know where you are coming from.
Had a friend who was a secondary teacher & it just did not work out for her.
She now travels round different primary schools instead.

urg123

Buffy

Your debt repayment is brilliant - you have paid off a third of it! That's so good. Think about how long it took you to create that debt - you have done great to get where you are in such a short time. Don't forget that.

I don't know you that well but I know that you don't sound happy. Have you thought about talking to your GP about these low feelings. You might also like to talk to Samaritans - they are great and not judgemental at all.

Applying for other jobs sounds like a good plan. Are they teaching jobs or something completely different? If doing a job isn't just for money for you -ask yourself what you want from your next job and whether a move to then next job will get you these. Not being happy where you are can mean that you run away from it into something even worse. I don't want to give you horror stories when you are down but I'd hate for you to end up in a worse situation.

No matter what route you take - freedom and choice are on their way. I bet you can't wait.

take care,

urg x x

spud30

Buffy, can you not have a word with your doc? You might need some time off with stress hun.

What about becoming a supply teacher for a bit?

Buffythedebtslayer

chevalier wrote: »

Sorry but so what is new.

This is the guy who picks on you and has a inferiourity complex that makes him belittle you all the time anyway. So why do you think t hat he would think your lesson was ok.

the guy is a git, well he is worse than that but I don't think it will get past the swear censor lol.

You are going to have to be really careful here Buffy cos otherwise you are going to make yourself seriously ill. Ie ill enough that you are off for months not days. So start being kind to yourself. Stick to your plans, and validate to yourself that they were the right plans (they are). This guy is doing NOTHING for your self esteem, you are being worn down by the whole set up.

So keep going forward with the plans, take one day, one piece of marking at a time. If you prevaricate it will only get worse. You need to complete the marking, the little challenges to set up a positive feedback loop, cos at the moment it all seems very negative.

Sorry I am rambling now. So will leave it with I am worried about you, take it as easy as you can. Oh and I am going to have a look at the running too......
chev

the bit in bold is true,

and Chev you are right, he is a git, I am being sucked in to thinkin he is right and I am wrong. I am too worried about how crap I feel.

I am going to go watch Desperate houseswives.

Honestly all of you have helped so much tonight. its not about him its about me.

Love Buffyxxx

beanielou

Buffy~DO NOT put yourself down.
It is about him~ a nasty bully by all accounts.
Why do you get observed anyway?Does this happen regularary?

GeorgeUK

I'm not going to waste my time on saying what i think about the worm.

The most important thing is you Buffy. You have sweated it out for long enough. If you find a job you really like and can enjoy it will all be worth it. What's the point in getting debt free if you're going to be miserable and emotionally drained at the end of it? You are doing this so that in the long run you have a better quality of life. It may take a little longer, but i think you need to focus on this now instead of just the debt.

Hugs to you.
:grouphug:

sarahb123_3

Hi Buffy, sorry you're having such a rubbish time at the moment. Try to hang on in there, am in the same position, as soon as I have all my debts cleared am leaving carppy job. Ignore what the head told you, he makes himself feel bigger by trying to make other people feel smaller. What a loser he is, don't let him get to you.

Are you still doing the payment a day thing? I know you were very keen on it at one time, it might help to get back into it if you have stopped, if you come home from work and do a payment every day you will see that step by step you are making progress. What about ebaying and green met? Every single thing you sell is a step closer to freedom and making your choices based on what you want to do.

Just throw everything you can at it. One day you will make your final payment and you will be free to do whatever you want. :j

Keep your chin up and keep on keeping on. There is light at the end of the tunnel. Look at how much you have already paid off. You are on the right track. Hope you feel better for having written it down and remember it's only 3 and a bit weeks until the Easter hols xxx