Buffy's 18 week credit card free challenge

sammy115

Buffy as a mother with a daughter who seriously thinks I can't look after myself your mother may surprise you if you moved out....

Mine surprised me when I moved out...:grouphug:

Snaggles

Buffy, firstly (((hugs))), and secondly, it sounds like things are coming to a head for you, and just like you and everyone else told me, when things came to a head a couple of weeks ago for me, sometimes you need to hit the point where you can't take any more before you can start to make changes.

You will make this work, I completely understand your feelings that you can't/don't want to move out, and if that's something that is fixed and definite, then that's okay, but you need to find some way of making it work for you.

Having your own space sounds like a good idea, having friends round, making your own decisions about meals etc - those are all positive steps.

What about the dating thing, you've mentioned a few times you would like to have a boyfriend, maybe even a family - are you 'putting yourself out there' so to speak? It's very scary and weird, but you are a lovely, warm person, not to mention so much more attractive than you realise. If you really wanted to meet someone, you could make it happen, and even if it's not Mr Right, sometimes Mr Right Now is enough, to give your confidence a little boost, and make you feel like you're living your life (that sounds like I think you need a man in order to consider you have a life - sorry, that's not what I meant at all, I just meant that seeing friends and dating would maybe stop you feeling like life is passing you by a bit).

I'm probably saying all the wrong things as I'm not very good at this sort of thing (hence the disaster area that is my life!), but I hate to see you so sad when you deserve to be happy. :grouphug:

Buffythedebtslayer

:o I feel really embarrassed now:o thank you xxx

I think maybe she would be ok, but I am not sure I want to put her through it? She has had lots of unhappiness in her life and all of us are prone to the "miseries and thinking we are crap(as in mum me and sisters). I don't want to risk it - I would have the support of my friends I guess but they are all having babies and being married, I don't want to live on my own not really.

I want more control. hence the making space thing

And Snags, I want to try the dating thing. I don't have a heck of confidence with the blokes but I will at least think about (and you are no remotely bad at this sort of thing at all! xxxxx)

Mum goes away at some point to stay with my Sister so I will have freedom for a bit then and before she goes I will put the changes in place and then go from there.

xx

Shoe_Gal

Buffythedebtslayer wrote: »

1. no more saturdays in with my sis and bf. those afternoons are life suckingly boring.

2. I need to sort out the conservatory so that I have somewhere to sit that is mine and organised in a way I like and can have friends over too etc.

3. I am not going to have dinner every night any more. that 6 o clock feeling has been a part of my life FOREVER. am sick of it.

And I need to start getting out a bit more.

.

Hi Buffy

Hope you are feeling better and a little more positive today? This sounds like a good plan, not too overwhelming so t should be achieveable

Like others have said, a proper space of your own is really important, I live on my own and ahve done for years - I can't imagine now how I would feeling about living with somebody else, boyfriend, family etc, not actually sure that I could

Take care
Shoe Gal x

Buffythedebtslayer

Hello,

had a good day today. got up did my exercise vid, washed my rug (turned in to a disaster)

Did lots of gardening - planted my herb garden and my veg seeds(!) Also made up two pots for my garden and did three more pots for the front garden. Oh and planted my strawberries!

Then I had a nap (carefully missing my Sister's visit- feel bad, but had a headache) and when I woke up I cleaned out my three fish tanks.

Now I have just had dinner, going to hoover and go through the post.

I feel loads better today and although part of me is dreading work on Monday I feel ok.

xxx

beanielou

Glad that you are ok hun
Rug ruined then?:rotfl::eek:

Buffythedebtslayer

beanielou wrote: »

Glad that you are ok hun
Rug ruined then?:rotfl::eek:

It now looks like a dead sheep. I washed it a while ago, and it went al scraggly and now it looks MUCH worse!

domestic goddess I am not! :rotfl::rotfl:

beanielou

Neither am I!!!:rotfl:

Buffythedebtslayer

Went through my post, that was depressing. Honeslty you think you are doing ok but then something always bites you on the behind!

I am SURE I made a payment to my halifax card for the 28th and I cannot find it.

Hate bloody A and L being so DAMN slow. Barclays was much better.

will have to wait and I am no good at that!!

xx

beanielou

Can u not phone them?