Please Help!!!Husband moved money out of our joint account

MrsTinks

I find it very interesting that most people are having a crack at the husband here... an awful lot is being assumed. The crisis in the marriage could be anything - I'm not saying it's the case but for all we know given the information in the posts then the wife could have had an affair. It doesn't always HAVE to be the husbands fault. It may also be that it wasn't his choice that she became a SAHM - she could have made that decision without giving him a say in the matter leaving him to support the family with extra hours or extra jobs.
I think based on the information so far then legally yes he is perfectly entitled to put his salary in a seperate account - after all he might have taken legal advice too and been informed of the fact she could in theory remove any of his money from the account. Because chances are she'll keep the kids then he'll probably be the one having to leave the home he's worked to pay for - him reducing the spending money would seem to me a very reasonable step so he can save for a deposit on a place maybe? If or when they seperate/divorce unless it's amicable then she will be entitled to 20% for child benefit and an amount set by the court for living - my guess is she will have to think about getting a job unless he continues to pay the mortgage for her and all the bills.
I'm not a SAHM and chances are I never will be because we can't afford that drop in salary at the moment - and if we could I'm still not sure I'd ever feel happy giving up my financial independance no matter how much I love and trust my husband.

Loretta

If the account is joint I suppose she could play him at his own game and take any available money from it including the overdraft if there is one available. She would then have a little emergency nest egg. As he is working and she has no income there would be no point in the bank chasing her to pay it back and it may make him realise that it isn't as simple as he thinks

What sems unreasonable here is that she is in a vunerable position with no income of her own now that the marriage has broken down and he is being controlling and bullying by doing this with the family income, it is not just his money, without any discussion just announcing this is what he is doing, she is obviously very scared. First job Monday morning some good legal advice

shirlgirl2004

Loretta wrote: »

If the account is joint I suppose she could play him at his own game and take any available money from it including the overdraft if there is one available. She would then have a little emergency nest egg. As he is working and she has no income there would be no point in the bank chasing her to pay it back and it may make him realise that it isn't as simple as he thinks

What sems unreasonable here is that she is in a vunerable position with no income of her own now that the marriage has broken down and he is being controlling and bullying by doing this with the family income, it is not just his money, without any discussion just announcing this is what he is doing, she is obviously very scared. First job Monday morning some good legal advice

I think that would be a sure fire way of alienating her husband which is the last thing the OP should be doing. I agree she should get the joint account closed, seek legal advice and hope in the meantime he sticks to what he says he is going to do.

rosemarym_2

Maybe you can't make him pay his salary into the joint account, but you have other options.

The first thing is, don't move out of the house. If he is determined to split up, let him leave. The second thing is, if he does leave, then the Child Support Agency will compel him to support you and the children:
http://www.csa.gov.uk/
Thirdly, even if he doesn't leave, if he doesn't give you enough to keep house on you can apply for a divorce on the grounds of his unreasonable behaviour - and ask the court to let you keep the house. In the meantime, save every penny you can. Thrifty meals, mince padded with oatmeal - I wouldn't be feeding him steak.

CiciBaltimore

snowmaid wrote: »

This type of attitude stinks. They are in a marriage, a unity. She has 'sacrificed' her career/life to be at home with THEIR children. She could have gone off to work to earn her OWN money, but stayed at home to look after THEIR kids. She has saved him a fortune in childcare fees and domestic help. She has stayed at home cleaning, ironing, cooking, wiping noses, enabling him to earn his money.

She is entitled to a portion of his salary because she has been damn well earning it while running after his butt at home.

And no, I am not a stay at home mum. I hold a full time job.

just because she stays at home dont mean she is entitled to her husbands money. it is all her choice. noone has tied her to the house or threatened her with pain if she leaves. it is her choice. If the marriage is so bad, then leave and then you can claim payment through the courts.

KellyWelly

CiciBaltimore wrote: »

just because she stays at home dont mean she is entitled to her husbands money. it is all her choice. noone has tied her to the house or threatened her with pain if she leaves. it is her choice. If the marriage is so bad, then leave and then you can claim payment through the courts.

It's never just 'her choice'. Humans don't reproduce asexually. When you have children you can't just walk out of the door and leave and live on a wing and prayer.

What a stupid immature post.

bryanb

Post 48 and nothing from the OP since post 6.
Does that tell us anything?

zzzLazyDaisy

OP doesn't have to leave. She can see a solicitor, and start formal separation proceedings. This will enable her to make a claim to the CSA for child support. Depending on her circumstances she may also be entitled to other benefits.

As other posters have said, she needs legal advice and fast. She has no income of her own, so she will be entitled to legal aid.

danio01

bryanb wrote: »

Post 48 and nothing from the OP since post 6.
Does that tell us anything?

I know, it does look strange that I didn't reply earlier, but I am grateful for all the information. Things have been very rough here and now the husband started being mentally abusive as well so have been trying to stay strong and not to think too much about the financial side of it.

And no, I have not had an affair as somebody suggested. We are both rsponsible for the breakup of this relationship, however he's the one who denies having made any mistakes and puts all the blame on me.

MrsTinks

I didn't suggest you'd had an affair - I pointed out that based on the information given there was nothing to say this was your husbands fault - infact with so little information then FOR ALL WE KNEW you could have had an affair etc People jumping to conclusions and automatically assuming the worst about your husband was very unfair on him at that point.
Bearing in mind that you have no means of income yourself I would get down and get some legal advice asap. If your husband is becoming unpleasant to live with then I would also suggest you contact someone like Relate to mediate between you - not to get back together but to try and keep the seperation and divorce on as amicable terms as possible.
I would also suggest that you start looking at part time jobs that you can possible do around the children if possible so you have at least SOME independance from him before the divorce - even if for no other reason then to prove to yourself that you CAN do without him