Please Help!!!Husband moved money out of our joint account

RoxieW

seabright wrote: »

I certainly don't think it's OK, and I don't think my comment suggested that I do. The poster asked "is it legal?" and yes, it is. This is very unfortunate for her and I hope the suggestions made by me and by others help her as far as it is possible to do so.

Sorry - not aiming anything at you. I appreciate that it is legal and confirmation of that is helpful to the OP.

Merry_Gentry

danio01 wrote: »

I know, it does look strange that I didn't reply earlier, but I am grateful for all the information. Things have been very rough here and now the husband started being mentally abusive as well so have been trying to stay strong and not to think too much about the financial side of it.

I think you need to be looking at the financial side of things, as well as the emotional. Have you sought any advice regarding your position - benefits, etc? Information is power - you need to know what you can get, etc so you know where you stand, which will enable you to move forward.

I'm sorry to hear that things have deteriorated, but I think that means you need to sort yourself out sooner rather than later - being proactive can make you feel much more in control.

danio01

Merry_Gentry wrote: »

I think you need to be looking at the financial side of things, as well as the emotional. Have you sought any advice regarding your position - benefits, etc? Information is power - you need to know what you can get, etc so you know where you stand, which will enable you to move forward.

I'm sorry to hear that things have deteriorated, but I think that means you need to sort yourself out sooner rather than later - being proactive can make you feel much more in control.

You are absolutely right and I did look at the financial side - got great advice from CAB, booked an appointment at solicitors + got financial support from family for emergencies. Just try not to think about the finances apart from the time when I am actually doing something about my situation. Don't want my children to have a worried, absent parent who is unable to give them attention because she's thinking about something else.
I have also been using a lot of my energy trying to avoid confrontation with the husband, which proves very difficult.

Merry_Gentry

It is difficult, especially if he is determined to make things difficult for you. I really hope you stay strong and find your way through this :grouphug:

swiss69

No wonder people are commitment phobic these days!

Some comments on here without knowing the facts are outrageous. I read the post and it said to me that this man is going to have his salary paid into an account in his name, pay all the bills and give his wife some money for expenses etc - Isnt that an admirable thing to do? Some men just leave and dont pay anything. My cousin hasnt had one penny in 16 years from her ex husband but has got on with it, got a good job and a good 2nd husband whislt her ex still lives in the same rough area he always has, flits between jobs and still shows very little interest in supporting his daughter.

I have never had a joint account with anyone and never will. I pay my way financially and whats left is mine. What I spend it on is up to me and I would never have anyone questioning that. I would never ask my partner what she spends her money on because 1. Its none of my business and 2. I just dont care.

Why are some people so uptight about this? Not all men are bstds...There is a lot to be said for financial independence and having part of your life that your partner is not involved in!

Ems*Honie

KellyWelly wrote: »

It's never just 'her choice'. Humans don't reproduce asexually. When you have children you can't just walk out of the door and leave and live on a wing and prayer.

What a stupid immature post.

I was a sahm for 5 yrs, my choice. I went back to work when youngest went to school, my choice. Hubby had no choice but to pay the bills mortgage etc. We choose to have children together, but what I did with my career after that was my business.
We have only recently opened a joint account, but both our salaries go into our private accounts. My choice.
If we split up then I would have expected him to help with the things OP listed and childcare so that I could work, just as I would expect him to now.

Whilst I'm very sad for the OP's situation, and I wish her all the best in resolving it in the most comfortable way possible for her, I dont see why people are jumping on the husband, who is, as far as I have read, offering to cover the bills, mortgage and housekeeping.

If I posted here to say my marriage was breaking down, but hubby still expected me to put my salary into the joint account for him to have spending money then I think we would hear some very differant opinions.

danio01

Ems*Honie wrote: »

I
If I posted here to say my marriage was breaking down, but hubby still expected me to put my salary into the joint account for him to have spending money then I think we would hear some very differant opinions.

I do understand where you are coming from, however it's not about my spending money. We have 2 children - 5yrs and 17 months old and all I wanted to know was if there was any legal way to make sure we have enough money for food as I am not working at the moment.
We are still married and still live together. He says he still wants to work things out and then goes behind my back to open a separate bank account.