Feeling So Low!

lufcgirl

Hey guys,
Just need to get everything off my chest really. Been with my girlfriend for nearly two months now and everything (bar the last two weeks) has been absolutely perfect. For Christmas I bought us a holiday which we were due to go on on Sunday. My ex had my passport and I figured she'd hand it over eventually. Anyway it came to last night and she was still refusing, so I called the passport office to get an emergency passport. They've basically said it's tough as it's too short notice.
So what do I do...I run. I tell her whats happened by text (stupid) and said we should just break up as I've messed everything up and can't go. I mean, why would she want to be with someone who messes things up as much as I did! I can get refunds for most of it, but still...she was looking forward to it, her parents knew where she was going and now it's not happening. So now I don't have a girlfriend and don't have a holiday. She's at an appointment but wants to talk after but whats the point of her being with such a failure!

Anyway I just felt writing things down would be easier for me, so thanks for reading.

Claire3121

Now im pretty sure if you went to the passport place(scattered around the country,I know theres one in Victoria,London),they can issue a passport there and then. They are pricy tho.

lufcgirl

Nope! My local one is Durham, one of seven in the country and they said no...they basically said the guy on the phone last night had just got my hopes up as their average turnaround for a lost passport is seven days! Rubbish!

snowmaid

lufcgirl wrote: »

Hey guys,
Just need to get everything off my chest really. Been with my girlfriend for nearly two months now and everything (bar the last two weeks) has been absolutely perfect. For Christmas I bought us a holiday which we were due to go on on Sunday. My ex had my passport and I figured she'd hand it over eventually. Anyway it came to last night and she was still refusing, so I called the passport office to get an emergency passport. They've basically said it's tough as it's too short notice.
So what do I do...I run. I tell her whats happened by text (stupid) and said we should just break up as I've messed everything up and can't go. I mean, why would she want to be with someone who messes things up as much as I did! I can get refunds for most of it, but still...she was looking forward to it, her parents knew where she was going and now it's not happening. So now I don't have a girlfriend and don't have a holiday. She's at an appointment but wants to talk after but whats the point of her being with such a failure!

Anyway I just felt writing things down would be easier for me, so thanks for reading.

Have her arrested. She is not allowed to withhold a passport that isn't hers. In fact, it belongs to the Government, not even you. Call the police and let them get it off her.

98sidney

You can have another one done the same day if you go to london. Dont throw your gf away tell her what is going on, she will understand. And you are not a failure, its a lovely thing you planned for you both failures wouldnt of thought od doing such a nice thing.

98sidney

agree with post about contacting police or at least tell your ex that is what you will do if she still refuses to give it back, then report it for real.

wannabe_sybil

You are not a failure. Sometimes bad things happen, sometimes people act badly. This is not being a failure. You have not had a lot of luck. That is all. I am sure that you are a wonderful partner to care so much, that is not a failure and certainly not a reason to break up, for me

It is good to vent, and I think it is good to come on an anonymous forum and get some things off your chest. However, perhaps it may be possible to salvage a little from your situation if your girlfriend is okay with these ideas.

I have never managed to persuade my dear heart to take many holidays with me, but we have had some wonderful times just snuggling in together, watching cheesy movies and just relaxing. This is a good time of year to hibernate together for a little while.

Also, if you get refunds, you can certainly plan together perhaps a series of short breaks in this country. You may not get the weather, but there is some lovely places in UK.

Also with passport, perhaps you can ring the passport office and explain the situation and ask whether you should report the passport as stolen.

Do you have a mutual friend who can negotiate the return of the passport for you? Is there something your ex would like that you could trade for the passport?

Also, hugs, lots of them. I hope all works out for you.

Nicki

You need to get tough with your ex. She has no right to hold on to your passport, and in fact is committing a criminal offence by doing so.

You need to let her know in no uncertain terms that you will be at her house this evening at 6pm and that she must hand your passport over to you there and then. If you think that things are likely to get ugly, then you should let the local police station know, and ask them to send someone to keep the peace. If all else fails you need to tell the ex that she will be liable for all the costs of your holiday if it is cancelled due to her behaviour, and you then need to follow through with this. Even if she has no money at the moment, you need to get a CCJ against her which you can enforce in the future or by sending the bailiffs in. You need evidence that you asked her for the passport back and she refused, so that's another good reason to take the police with you when you go, aside from protecting yourself from DV or an allegation of DV against you.

All this will send a clear message to your new gf that your ex no longer has any power over you, and to your ex that things are well and truly over. It will also help with recouping some of your financial losses.

Finally, if you fail to get the passport back, you must report to the Passport office that it has been stolen by your ex, give them all her details, and have it cancelled and a new one issued.

Good luck and don't let yourself be bullied!

lufcgirl

Thanks for all your support guys. My (ex) girlfriend has said she doesn't want us to end over this but I think it's for the best.

The passport thing is complicated, her Dad has it and they keep saying I'm free to go and get it but for a barrage of abuse and feeling worthless, it's not worth it. My ex is in Ireland, and I'm in Newcastle so it's pretty hard to just do normal stuff, hence the holiday. She's said to just go over and we'd do nothing for a few days, but I'm not really up for that. I'd just be reminded everyday of what an idiot I was!

98sidney

ring the police tell them your situation, they will go with you to get passport from the dad, as they are there you wont get any abuse, then go home pack your suitcase and have a flaming good time with your gf, as by sounds of it you need the break.

Curious_George_2

im not sure i understand whats going on here,

you bought a holiday for you both, which she was looking forward too
but shes got your passprt and is refusing to give it to you
so your a faliure?

sorry, i dont get it?