MSE Pregnancy Club V

mookiandco

I couldn't wait to find out either. Its my 1st pregnancy and its quite honestly a whole 9 months of surprises for me so I wanted to take that one out of the equation!

searching_me

how do you tell someone not to bring a friend x

money_maker_3

I didnt find out with DD or with this bump !!

I love surprises though, and there is nothing bigger than the flavour of your bump

searching_me

MM i love that saying ... flavour :rotfl: x

MrsTinks

Right have nattered with DH this evening about what to do and think the way forward will be basically to find out the exact amount of holiday and annual leave I will have if I start my ML on the 16th of May. Then take all my leave before then and go and see doctor to get signed off sick till my annual leave kicks in if she's willing to do that. Can they sign you off till a certain date? Never really had to be signed off before the start of this pregnancy and well... I don't really know how that works LOL

I think work have made clear that my role involves spending my time either in the office, our other office (where there are NO provisions for my seating - it's basically musical desks and perch where you can) and client sites. So given the pain it causes me to drive and that all client sites are a minimum of an hour away - furthest is 180 miles (or 3 hours on a good run - longer with traffic) and one time wise is probably worse as it's the other side of London... Being in the car for so long is just not something I relish.
You think that's enough for the doctor to sign me off till my annual leave starts? I've not yet gone into detail with her about the stress it's causing me although I guess I ought to *sigh* I just struggle with the whole being sick thing... Until I was admitted to hospital I had taken 1 sick day last year and that was only because I'd lost my voice and couldn't speak (well ok I had a stinking cold...but that doesn't normally stop me... being unable to speak on the phone when most of my work is phone based or e-mail based was an issue so had to take a day off sick to let it recover ) so it's very odd to be this side... And it's almost as bad that there are no outward signs of "illness"... i feel a fraud :S I mean ok I'm limping like mad but people might think I'm just putting that on??? *sigh* why why why why can't they just let me get on with my job and leave me alone! *we need a tantrum smilie*

MrsTinks

searching_me wrote: »

how do you tell someone not to bring a friend x

Uhmmm for what? Did I miss something

money_maker_3

MrsTine,

I feel really sorry for you feeling like that about work, but before you get the doctor to sign you off sick, can you check what your employers do with signing you onto mat leave??

If I am off for longer than 7 dyas after my 32nd week, I am automatically signed onto mat leave and not sick leave.:mad:

I know that all employers do it from 36 weeks, but just so you know, some do it earlier.

Could you maybe take a week of your leave now to give you some time to go over all the options in a bit more detail??

Good luck with whatever you do, you and bubs are more inportant that a job anyway !!!:D

elle_gee

MrsTine, have you read this info, from H&S for pregnant employees downwards?

Have you had a proper risk assessment done? They have to make reasonable adjustments for you (ie letting you work from home if that's possible in your job) and if they can't do that, they have to suspend you on full pay (therefore you would haven't have to take the drop to SSP only).

Have you spoken to your H&S people? Are you in a union too?

Have a read of the links to the HSE site.

Also, you might be able to argue that working from home is an "implicite" or "custom and practise" part of your contract and by not allowing you to do it right now (conincidentially when you're pregnant) is them changing your contract...

Just a few thoughts

searching_me

awww mrs tine you gotta do whats best for bubs ...
long story a "friend" (im using this term loosly as she hasnt been much of one since i found out i was pregnant) wanted to come up and see me but spend the night and happened to drop she'd be bringing her friend ... now i dont mind her staying as she meant to be my closet friend but my flat in the middle of being done up ready for bubs as well as bubs stuff is taking up alot of space so i politely told her not to bring her if she was staying as i dont want a stranger in my house when its like this... i didnt hear from her now she wrote on my FB shes still coming and how much does a hotel room cost... im more annoyed at i havent seen her in ages and i dont want to be the spare pregnant wheel plus how can i talk to her .. you know reaally talk to her with a stranger there .. ive close to had it with her she just has got im pregnant and ive needed a friend to talk to and now she inviting people i dont know and i dont wanna sound like a cow... but i got the feeling i may come across as one x

MrsTinks

mmmmm searching toughie... Given my current mood then I'd much rather just tell her out right if it was me Just say that "look I was looking forward to seeing you and having some time just the two of us to catch up and such, not being funny but I really don't feel I can talk with someone there that I don't know, it's probably just these funny pregnancy hormones but I just feel a bit upset at the moment. I really want to see you but I'm not really up for being social with people I don't know at the moment. Just really selfconscious and stuff... I'm sure you'll understand "