Ghostmadlittlemiss' first diary! Wish me luck!

Elsas_mamma

Hi Kayleigh,
as you have looked at my diary, I thought it fair i looked at yours!:wave: I have also subscrbed to it now:D .
What are you studying at uni?
I hope you don't mind, but I might ask questions about uni life over the next few weeks/months!! My daughter has just been offered a place at Falmouth, she has also been offered a place at Chichester. Falmouth is her favourite. She is going to do English with Creative Writing. I didn't go to uni, so the whole thing is new to me. Fortunately, she is very good with her money. She has a part time job and is already saving as much as possible for when she goes to uni.
A suggestion to possibly help save some grocery money. Could you and your room mates buy some of the food together and split the cost. If you can make a batch of something( ie spaghetti bolognaise), it can work out alot cheaper than buying smaller amounts.
I am off to update my diary now
K

ghostmadlittlemiss

Elsas_mamma wrote: »

A suggestion to possibly help save some grocery money. Could you and your room mates buy some of the food together and split the cost. If you can make a batch of something( ie spaghetti bolognaise), it can work out alot cheaper than buying smaller amounts.
I am off to update my diary now
K

I did try suggesting that in Sept but it never happened. I'll try asking them again. The problem is, on weeknights we tend to eat at seperate times. It might be something to consider for weekends though. We did Xmas dinner together in mid Dec and that went down great. So yeah, something that's worth trying again.

I'm studying Religious Studies. And don't worry, I don't mind questions. I'll try to answer them if I can and if not, I'll ask someone else.

Good grief, I'd have been better doing a long list, for the amount I've actually got through! :eek: I've had one of my low days today, I basically got back from uni, got into bed and slept for 3 hours. So hardly anything that I planned to do got done. I'm returning some of my library books in about 1/2 hour and I'll get the letters posted when I get home so at least that's some things sorted. I'm really annoyed with myself though, I was doing so well the last couple of days and now I've just gone to bits again.

On the plus side, the information pack I requested about volunteering for the CAB has arrived. So I'll give them a call tomorrow and set up the informal interview. I'm really nervous though. I don't know if I mentioned but I want to work for the CAB when I've left uni so I need them to accept me as a volunteer. I've spoken to a volunteer on here and I'm less nervous about what I'd actually have to do in the role but I keep worrying that some silly little thing will trip me up and then I won't be able to volunteer with them. And if that happens, I'm going to have to rethink my entire career plan, just when I finally seem to have settled on something. I may end up doing that anyway if I don't actually like the volunteering, but I'd rather do it having actually tried it and dismissed it than not being able to do it at all. I suppose I just have to go for it and see what happens.

I'm in the library at uni, killing time until the bus arrives. The 6 o'clock bus was packed and I didn't fancy standing room only. I might have to bring sandwiches next week though, I stupidly bought chocolate and crisps from the vending machine while I was waiting. I've only got another 20 mins to wait and then I can catch the bus so I should be back by 7:30. I'll post again then. Talk later.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

Will I ever learn? I'm still on here, with none of the jobs done that I said I'd do. I think I'll write today off as a bad job.

Got home eventually. I had a interesting journey, a girl who lived in the halls next to be next year started talking to me at the bus stop, didn't take long to realised she was stoned off her face! :eek: It was dark but I could still see how huge her pupils were and she would not shut up about this guy she'd wanted to tell she loved that day but couldn't get the nerve up to. As soon as I was on the bus, on went the iPod and I looked the other way all the way home. Thankfully, she got the hint.

Tomorrow should be a busy day, I've got uni in the morning, then I'm picking up some salt and pepper grinders I got off Freecycle then I've got a social for the pole-dancing society in the evening. So I'll go with a nice, short list and hope it all gets done.

Things to do tomorrow

[strike]Hand in society forms.[/strike] Done.
[strike]Post letters.[/strike] Done.
[strike]Return more library books.[/strike] Done.
[STRIKE]Pick up salt and pepper grinders[/STRIKE] Done.
[STRIKE]Do one load of washing.[/STRIKE] Done.
Fill in self-employment forms.
[strike]Do daily scratch.[/strike] Done.

I am knackered but I know I won't fall asleep for a good couple of hours. It takes me forever to drop off, then I wonder why I don't get up the next day. Anyway, I'll get back to you tomorrow, as soon as I get time.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

I think I might want to write today off as well!

I've just got back from uni, after being an hour late, to get a call from my support worker to tell me about a meeting I'm meant to be at now that I completely forgot about. I ended up late for uni because I had one of my low mornings and literally couldn't drag myself out of bed for nearly an hour. I was nearly in tears by the time I finally did get up. When I got in, I apologised to my tutor and asked what I'd missed. I suppose that could have sounded like I was asking for a complete recap of the seminar when really I just wanted to know if I'd missed anything really crucial. I didn't mean to sound selfish but maybe she took it that way because she then got really shirty and told me the seminar had started at 9, something that I already knew, hence saying to her all of 10 seconds beforehand, "Sorry I'm late."

So, that really set me up for the day. :rolleyes: I then get back and just as I start to feel positive and think that today might still turn out to be ok, my support worker rings. And guess what? She gets shirty with me too. I guess it was justified in both cases, I'm mostly angry at myself for not being able to get my life in order and for forgetting something that happens every single week.

So I now need to get back on track again. Next job is to sort out my clean washing so I can put a load of dirty washing in before I go for these salt and pepper grinders. The washing may have to wait a little bit to go in as I got sick of the sight of my housemate's filthy teatowel, which hangs down over my cupboard door and I have to move to get anything out, and threw it in the wash along with mine. But after they're done, I can put my load in then go for the salt and pepper grinders.

On the plus side, my grandparents just sent me a £7 cheque out of the blue so that should pay for drinks and food tonight. Maybe a night out will do me good.

Anyway, I'll try to stop going on now and actually get some stuff done. I'll write again later.
Kayleigh

Elsas_mamma

HI Kayleigh
I am sorry you are having a rough day. Do you have an alarm on your mobile phone and a calender? If yes, can you set them to go off on important days to help you be a bit more organised. I have suffered depression on and off over the last 15 years, and I know how debilitating it can be. I know you should never be told to pull your socks up and get on, but for me personnally, that is exactly what gets me going! No-one else tells me, I do. Depression and memory loss (due to alot of chemo) means I have to be very organised, I have lists everywhere and my diary is full. The last thing I do each night is check my diary for the next day and set my phone alarm for an hour before anything going on. Letters with appointments for the whole family are kept in order of their date and the time is written on the front of the envelope. It not only helps me, but there are times when OH has to take over the running of the house and get the children to school, clubs etc. He knows where to find everything because I write it down. Sometimes I think it I am a bitt OCD about being organised, but it works for me so hey-ho.
Have a good night out and get back on track tomorrow.
K

ghostmadlittlemiss

The alarm idea's a good one, I'll try that. As you know, I have a thing for writing lists to get organised. The only problem is, I then get the list to a certain length and then later think of something else. So I either add it and make the list too long to do or I forget it. Maybe I should try carrying a notepad around where I can write down things as I remember them. That way, I won't forget before I get back to a computer and if they don't get done, no one need know. I've got a student planner on the way, I could use that.

I think I probably get annoyed with myself too easily. I just keep thinking that if I forget my own stuff now, what am I going to be like when I'm older with kids and have to remember all their stuff as well? Maybe it's something that gets better with practice, I don't know.

My housemate's teatowel still smells greasy so I've put it on again on a boil wash. Not very MS, I know, but I can't stand having to push it out of the way whenever I want to get to my cupboard, it's disgusting. :mad: I know I leave dirty pots and stuff sometimes but people don't actually have to move them to get to their clean things. God, you can tell I'm PMSing, can't you?

I've got the oven heating up to have Quorn sausage rolls for lunch, I'd better go check on it before some prat (read 'Simon') turns it off again. I've managed to turn a nice, normal reply into a rant somehow. What am I like? Talk later.
Kayleigh

Storm

Hi GMLM :hello:

In terms of lists, why not have different ones for the areas of your life so it doesn't get too long? Uni work, Housework, Social Life - you could then prioritise these lists on different days of the week.

My little tip on housework is what I call in my head the 'ad break challenge' - whenever I'm watching a programme on a commercial channel, whenever the ad breaks come on I get up & do something in the flat. I've found it breaks bigger tasks down into manageable chunks of 2-3 minutes, and out of an hour of TV you'll find you've done 10 minutes of housework with minimal effort.

You're far more organised than when I was a student - came out with overdraft, credit cards plus a huge loan - when you're feeling down about money remember that when you graduate you're going to be in a far better position than a lot of your peers.

Storm

p.s. have you thought about asking on Freecycle for a small freezer? If there's no space for you to store bulk buys/cooks it might be worth seeing if there's space for another one in the house.

sillylittlejill

Hi GLML :wave:

I've just read all of your diary. I noticed a few similarities between us apart from you being at uni which I am really jealous of, I met OH before finishing a levels and decided to stay behind and move out with him. We are still together and planning to get married and start a family but I am now unemployed and we are living back with my parents.
You shouldn't feel the need to justify your feelings towards your OH because of your age. I have done that and it gets me really angry. Just because I'm 19 doesn't mean that I don't understand things. I see myself as an adult.

I have also suffered with depression which is slowly getting worse with being unemployed. I know the feeling of not feeling like you can move out of bed. I hope that things get better for you.

How is your uni work going?

Let us know how things are going in general. You and OH sound really strong, it must be difficult not living with him.

speak soon :hugs:
xxx

ghostmadlittlemiss

Dear God, never again! That is the last time I ever get anything off Freecycle from an area I don't know. Google Maps said it was a 40 min walk away, they didn't mention the fact the most of it was uphill! :eek: I'll sleep tonight, that's for sure. I wouldn't be surprised if I don't nod off into my drink at 'Spoons.

@ Storm - That's a really great idea about separating the lists, I'll definitely give that a go. I'll have to try the ad break thing as well. That's one of my worst faults, sitting and watching telly when I should be working. I'll try doing the pots in between next time I find myself doing that. The freezer idea is good as well but I'll have to get to know how to drive around Bath a bit more first, I haven't had my car down here for very long.

@ sillylittlejill - I know what you mean, I do try to justify things too much. I guess I spend a lot of time around older people and end up feeling like my problems don't matter in the grand scheme of things sometimes. They don't, but they matter to me. Being unemployed sucks too, I still haven't found another part-time job. I thought I'd walk into one when my timetable changed but there's been nothing so far. I understand how that doesn't help depression, when you've got debts to start with and not as much to pay towards them as you'd like, it really gets you down.

It is difficult being apart from James, but it's easier than last year. We were 300 miles apart then! :eek: I can count on both hands the amount of times that I saw him in a year. It was complete hell.

Uni work isn't really happening at the moment. I'm getting my books back out of the library for Buddhism on Tues and I'll try to finish that essay next week. It'll be a start and I know it'll help, having at least one piece over and done with.

Anyway, I've got to go, my social starts soon. If I don't post again when I get back, I'll talk to you tomorrow.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

Yes, I know, I should be in the pub, off my face by now. Believe me, I feel like it. I've just done the sums and after paying rent, I have £52.61 to live on for the next 2 months! :eek: :eek: :eek:

So, plan of action. Over the weekend, everything that isn't nailed down is going on Ebay. When I go to my mum's at the end of the month, I'll bring back all the CDs she wants rid of and they can go too. Then we'll see how much I've got after that. If you spot me lurking around the 'Up your income' thread for a while, you'll know why.

Ok, I'm going back out in a minute and somehow, I'm going to have fun. And booze and garlic bread. And I'll try to forget all of this for tonight, irresponsible as that is. Dear God, how did I get in this state? My DFD and Phantom are looking further and further away by the day. I'll write back later or tomorrow.
Kayleigh