Ghostmadlittlemiss' first diary! Wish me luck!

ghostmadlittlemiss

Nothing that can technically be ticked off yet (some pots and clothes done but not all) but I fancied doing a update anyway.

After a very stressful journey, I got back home about 5ish. I'm still finishing off the essays and trying not to feel so sorry for myself. There are people out there in worse situations than me, I just have to remember that.

I think the problem I'm having with trying to save money is that I'm yo-yo dieting, only with cash instead of food. I'm trying to be uber-strict, so then I end up crashing after so long, spending more money than I ended up saving before and feeling even worse about myself. So I'm starting a new plan as of today.

Instead of trying to do without everything I don't need in order to live in a desperate attempt to save as much money as possible so I can throw money at my debts, I need to take some time out to have fun every once in a while. Not champagne parties or anything like that, but the odd night out maybe. My uni's doing a comedy night on Tues, £3 on the door and drinks at £1.50 each. Thankfully I have the world's lowest alcohol tolerance, 2 drinks is enough for me. And since I have a bus pass pre-paid for, that's a decent night out for £6.

I've also decided that once I've cleared my debts, I'm going to see Phantom of the Opera. I've never been to a West End show before and I've always wanted to see that. Also, I know it'll still be running then, it'll run until the sun explodes. So I now know I have that to look forward to as well.

Ok, enough stalling. On with some work.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

I can see no one's reading this but I'll plough on regardless. At least it makes me feel better.

I've just come to the realisation over the last couple of days that what I thought was normal winter SAD syndrome is in fact full blown depression. I don't feel suicidal or anything like that, but I feel almost constantly numb. I have no energy and just can't be arsed with anything, including my uni work. I've just sent a marathon e-mail to my tutor explaining this and I hope she'll be understanding. She usually is. I feel a tiny bit better in myself for having done that but still not happy, which proves in itself that something's wrong. Normally, I'd be relieved after sending a e-mail like that but I just feel like there's a blanket smothering all of my feelings. I can't keep living like this, it's going to make my seriously ill. I can't remember the last time I've slept a normal 8 or so hours a night, I just sleep for 4 or 5 hours at a time then after a while, I crash and sleep for 12 to 14 hours straight. It's damaging my health and it needs fixing.

Plan to beat depression

[strike]Make a appointment with a doctor to see if I have it in the first place. [/strike] Done, I have mild to moderate depression.
[STRIKE]Make a appointment with the university counsellor.[/STRIKE] Doctor has sent me for counselling through the surgery so I'll see how that goes.

So that's the plan for later today. I now need to at least try to get some sleep. I'll post back later.
Kayleigh

ghostmadlittlemiss

Sorry I haven't updated in a while, it's been a really long week.

Strangely enough, since being diagnosed with depression, I've felt better than I have in weeks. I guess it's having the strain of all the workload I was worried about taken off my shoulders. I feel like I can cope better now.

I'm not back at uni again until Tues so I'm going to spend the next couple of days trying to get on top of things again. You literally cannot see the carpet in my room so that needs a tidy. I also have a big pile of washing to do and lots of other general odd jobs. I was meant to be going to Lidl over near Bristol today but that's going to have to wait until I've found the cheapest place to buy overtaking mirrors for a Morris Minor. I can't see all that well with the mirrors on there since they're half way down the bonnet, which is ok for uni because I don't have to change lanes to get there but I couldn't drive to Bristol with them. So that's a fairly big priority.

I got some news today that has cheered me up a fair bit. The Sims 3 now isn't being released until early June, instead of later this month. I'm a huge Sims fan and I was really annoyed by the thought that I wouldn't be able to buy it because I don't have a computer that will run it. But by June I might have slightly more of a chance of getting one. Not much more of a chance, but it makes me feel a little more optimistic. I know it's silly to worry about a computer game when I'm in debt but it was just a silly thing that got to me as I've bought every Sims game as soon as it came out since I was 11 and it really annoyed me that I'd got myself in a situation where I couldn't do it this time.

So, on with my plan for the next two days.

Things to do today and tomorrow

Clear wash basket.
Make some progress on tidying room.
[strike]Find cheapest overtaking mirrors and buy them.[/strike] Done. Probably could have found cheaper but they cost less than what running into another car would.
[strike]Send off refund form for last broadband bill.[/strike] Checked their website and I've already done it.
[strike]Send off cc charges request letter.[/strike] Done.
[strike]Buy train tickets to see mum in two weeks.[/strike] Done.
[strike]Buy National Express tickets to see James in three weeks.[/strike] Done.
[STRIKE]Go to Trustease and enquire about the house I want next year.[/STRIKE] House is gone. But I spoke to a very nice lady at another agency and I'm going to a open viewing for another house on Fri.
[STRIKE]Get standing order form from Trustease, fill it in and take it to bank.[/STRIKE] Done.
Hand in society forms to uni
Return library books.
[strike]Buy milk.[/strike] Done.
Wash rest of pots.
[strike]Print off paperwork for mystery shopping.
[/strike] Done.

I think that's enough to be getting on with. I'll let you know how I get on.
Kayleigh

Lemon_Tree

i've just found your diary and didn't want to read and run.
Keep on with everything and don't think you won't be able to achieve your goals - you will with determination

ghostmadlittlemiss

Lemon_Tree wrote: »

i've just found your diary and didn't want to read and run.
Keep on with everything and don't think you won't be able to achieve your goals - you will with determination

Thanks for replying. The diary's mostly for me but it is nice to know that people are actually reading it.
Kayleigh

saver03

Was just reading through your diary and thought I would say, "Hello."

It's good that you are getting this motivated at such a young age and whilst your debts are relatively low.

I too suffer from depression and I know what it is like to have days of feeling so low and not wanting to do anything, even my college work :mad: But I am glad to hear you are feeling better so you should become more positive and be able to get more motivated, fingers crossed.

In regards to becoming debt free the only thing that I would recommend is a spending diary so you can see exactly where your money is going and where you can actually cut back.

Good luck with it all

ghostmadlittlemiss

saver03 wrote: »

In regards to becoming debt free the only thing that I would recommend is a spending diary so you can see exactly where your money is going and where you can actually cut back.

Good luck with it all

I'm sure there's a lot of areas I could cut back on, mostly the amount I spend on food and travel. I'm trying to make an effort to book journeys earlier so I can get advance tickets and travel via National Express when possible. As for food, I think that'll be a case of getting into a routine so I can do food shopping on the same day each week. Then I can stock up so I don't go to the corner shop in between. It's just difficult at the moment as I have 1/2 a shelf in the freezer to myself so I can't really batch cook all that much.

I seem to have gone off on a bit of a tangent there, what I was trying to say is that as soon as I'm a bit more organised, a spending diary would be great.
Kayleigh

Tixy

Hello Kayleigh

Just read through your diary and wanted to say well done on your determination not to finish Uni in massive debt. As you said your debt isn't huge but having your LBM so young will hopefully mean you never get into the position many of us on here are in.

I know exactly what you mean about being a yo-yo spender. That exactly describes me too, I can be good for weeks (thanks in part to my spending diary) and then I have a day where I just go crazy. I think like you occasionally treating myself is the answer. As you are a student and living away from your family and boyfriend I do think it important you keep some social life to keep in with friends.

Good luck, Tixy

Head-Out-Of-Sand

Hey there, just stumbled upon your diary and wanted congratulate you on your efforts! Well done! I wish I'd had your good sense while I was at uni! :T


Why not pop up a statement of affairs when you get a chance? http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html people can then have a look at where you're spending money and make helpful suggestions about how to save even more - I was amazed at how much I was overspending by, I though I was skint!!!

Keep up the good work, you're doing great! Will check in to see how you're getting on xx

Also, just wanted to say that well done for asking for help on the depression thing - I struggled with this at uni and you've done the best thing by getting help. Counselling helped me LOADS. I'd also recommend, when you feel upto it, a bit of your own "soul-searching" and working through stuff - I'm not a big fan of most self-help books, but three ones I thought were good are Paul McKenna - "Change your life in 7 Days", Raj Persaud "The Motivated Mind" and Susan Jeffers "Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway" - all are quite practical and no-nonsense - they hippy dippy stuff doesn't work for me but we're all different I guess!!

But you sound like you're already well on the way to recovering and it DOES get better and you will beat it :D:D

ghostmadlittlemiss

Head-Out-Of-Sand wrote: »

Why not pop up a statement of affairs when you get a chance? http://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html people can then have a look at where you're spending money and make helpful suggestions about how to save even more - I was amazed at how much I was overspending by, I though I was skint!!!

I am planning on posting a SOA in time, I just need to get organised so I know how much I'm spending a month to start with. If I tried to do one now, I'd be guessing for half the figures, which would kind of defeat the object.

I'll see if my local library stocks any of those books you mentioned. I'm quite good at coping with 'hippy dippy stuff' (with my friends and family, you have to be! ) but you're right, sometimes down to earth common sense is better.
Kayleigh