Been told my son may have ADHD, any advice pls?

astonsmummy

Hi
I took my son to an appointment at our child development center yesterday.
He has been before, and the doctor asked to see him again, since last time he has started school, and they requested the school doctor to look at him, but as he already had this appointment they said to leave it as it is and get back to them.

The doctor said he displays ADHD symptoms, I thought he was too young
He is going to liase with the doctor who comes to the school and get her on the case as she can see him 'in action' at school and get proper feedback from his teachers.
I personally thought he was jumping the gun a bit, he's not even 5 yet, but upon a bit of online googling I realise this is a fine age to diagnose.
hes said he doesnt want to prescribe medication because of his age - damn right, i'm not pumping my boy full of drugs, especially on one persons say so!
I just feel a bit weird now, I'm not really sure what to think or what i'm supposed to do.
I took him to school this morning and had a word with his teacher and she is going to speak to the SENCO?? to get things moving, she said that it needs to be diagnosed by at least 2 people, so i guess it's just a case of waiting to see what this other doctor says, he's also going to contact DS SALT.

He was refered there after his 2 year check as he didnt talk, but is now being discharged soon as he seems to have caught up and is in line with his age group.
I'm sure he's not got it, but then would he say that if he really didnt think it ?

He does display SOME ADHD characteristics, but he's not overly hyperactive, and sleeps well.
I just dont want a label to be put on him unnessisarily, so am posting here just to get a bit of advice really fro people who have gone through the same sort of thing.

shazrobo

SENCO, is the special education needs co-ordinator within your sons school, who will make sure that any special needs your son has, are addressed within the school system.
i have twin boys with ADHD, they are 13 now. both boys have always slept well, and not always as hyperactive as other kids, eg, they can sit still for ages, if totally engrossed in something that holds their interest, and other times, they are so forgetful, and inattentive, its like talking to myself.
with daniel we always knew he was a bit different from his peers, and was diagnosed at a young age, his twin brother, josh on the other hand didnt receive a formal diagnosis til he was 11, even though the doctors had said he prob has it too

shaz x

astonsmummy

shazrobo wrote: »

SENCO, is the special education needs co-ordinator within your sons school, who will make sure that any special needs your son has, are addressed within the school system.
i have twin boys with ADHD, they are 13 now. both boys have always slept well, and not always as hyperactive as other kids, eg, they can sit still for ages, if totally engrossed in something that holds their interest, and other times, they are so forgetful, and inattentive, its like talking to myself.
with daniel we always knew he was a bit different from his peers, and was diagnosed at a young age, his twin brother, josh on the other hand didnt receive a formal diagnosis til he was 11, even though the doctors had said he prob has it too

shaz x

Thanks.
See DS can sit at the computer on the cbeebies website for ages, and he has one of those leapster hand held games that he does the same with, other than them and the telly he has no long term interest in anything else.
I hope it doesnt sound like i just let him watch telly or sit at the comp all day but trying to get him to do other things can be really stressful, I feel like I repeat myself a million times when I ask him to do something.
He will continually ask me the same question over and over and over again sometimes and it seems like he never stops talking!

shazrobo

astonsmummy wrote: »

Thanks.
See DS can sit at the computer on the cbeebies website for ages, and he has one of those leapster hand held games that he does the same with, other than them and the telly he has no long term interest in anything else.
I hope it doesnt sound like i just let him watch telly or sit at the comp all day but trying to get him to do other things can be really stressful, I feel like I repeat myself a million times when I ask him to do something.
He will continually ask me the same question over and over and over again sometimes and it seems like he never stops talking!

you sound like a good caring mum, and there is nothing wrong with allowing them to watch tv, now and again, even just to give you a bit of peace. my two love tv too, and would watch all day if allowed, hand held nintendo ds games, keep them occupied too.
my two still have difficulty following simple instructions, as half the time they are not paying attention AND i still have to hold there hands crossing the road as they have no road sense.
if your son does need more care than other kids his ages, applying for DLA can help a great deal
shaz x

astonsmummy

shazrobo wrote: »

you sound like a good caring mum, and there is nothing wrong with allowing them to watch tv, now and again, even just to give you a bit of peace. my two love tv too, and would watch all day if allowed, hand held nintendo ds games, keep them occupied too.
my two still have difficulty following simple instructions, as half the time they are not paying attention AND i still have to hold there hands crossing the road as they have no road sense.
if your son does need more care than other kids his ages, applying for DLA can help a great deal
shaz x

Thanks, he's not bad enough that i would need to claim dla, i just hope i can get some practical help x

shazrobo

astonsmummy wrote: »

Thanks, he's not bad enough that i would need to claim dla, i just hope i can get some practical help x

some schools are better at providing practicle help than others, if you dont get the help you need, i would suggest contacting parent partnership

astonsmummy

shazrobo wrote: »

some schools are better at providing practicle help than others, if you dont get the help you need, i would suggest contacting parent partnership

Thanks.
I think DS school is actually one of those schools that is good with dealing with these things, well i hope they are.
They seemed to have picked up on this very quickly from the time he started full time (just before xmas)
But I will keep the parenting partnership in mind if i feel the need.

Gingham_Ribbon

There are several symptoms that have to be seen for at least 6 months before a diagnosis can be made. Some kids can take a while to settle in to school and it can be harmful to 'diagnose' them with things they may not have. However, being able to sit and watch tv or play computer games doesn't rule ADHD out as it's fast paced and constantly changing so there isn't much need for concentration.

I have some ADHD questionaires. If you pm me I can send you a copy to look at.

moggylover

astonsmummy wrote: »

Hi
I took my son to an appointment at our child development center yesterday.
He has been before, and the doctor asked to see him again, since last time he has started school, and they requested the school doctor to look at him, but as he already had this appointment they said to leave it as it is and get back to them.

The doctor said he displays ADHD symptoms, I thought he was too young
He is going to liase with the doctor who comes to the school and get her on the case as she can see him 'in action' at school and get proper feedback from his teachers.
I personally thought he was jumping the gun a bit, he's not even 5 yet, but upon a bit of online googling I realise this is a fine age to diagnose.
hes said he doesnt want to prescribe medication because of his age - damn right, i'm not pumping my boy full of drugs, especially on one persons say so!
I just feel a bit weird now, I'm not really sure what to think or what i'm supposed to do.
I took him to school this morning and had a word with his teacher and she is going to speak to the SENCO?? to get things moving, she said that it needs to be diagnosed by at least 2 people, so i guess it's just a case of waiting to see what this other doctor says, he's also going to contact DS SALT.

He was refered there after his 2 year check as he didnt talk, but is now being discharged soon as he seems to have caught up and is in line with his age group.
I'm sure he's not got it, but then would he say that if he really didnt think it ?

He does display SOME ADHD characteristics, but he's not overly hyperactive, and sleeps well.
I just dont want a label to be put on him unnessisarily, so am posting here just to get a bit of advice really fro people who have gone through the same sort of thing.

I have great sympathy for how you are feeling: I felt weird when my DS1 was diagnosed, and he was younger than your DS and slept well: but was unadulterated hell when awake!

I never did give drugs, but it was a hard job parenting him and getting him to behave, and also to learn that he COULD apply himself and concentrate but had to try a lot harder than others.:o

If he has trouble concentrating and settling at school, then the label can be helpful as it stops them being "labelled" disruptive, and also means that they will often (if you and school push) get some one-to-one help.

Go with it for now, you do not have to accept the diagnosis, and you do not have to have him statemented unless you feel it is in his best interests. But, it does help to know that there is something that causes certain problems and it makes it clearer how to deal with any unwanted behaviour as well.

Not going to go into any specifics at this stage - will do if wanted, and you can always PM if you want to. But hugs and sympathy for the feelings you will go through until you "accept" inside or until you get the theory disproved.
Not easy, but doesn't need to be a bad experience or end result in the long term.

Bit of a hasty post as I have to go out but did not want to read and run.

Hugs again
Moggy

shazrobo

PolishBigSpender wrote: »

You should think very carefully before getting your child diagnosed with ADHD. It's a label that will 'stick' to your child for the rest of his life - and be used by teachers and others as an excuse to brand him/her 'stupid' for the rest of his days.

Every child will display ADHD characteristics - it's called being a child. Given that he's not even 5, wouldn't it make sense to wait a couple of years before trying to label him/find excuses for him?

It does seem dreadfully apparent to me that certain types of parents seem more likely to have children diagnosed with ADHD.

ADHD, is a chemical imbalance in an individual's brain, and whatever you may think, is not caused by certain parenting styles. ADHD kids are not stupid, they can be just as bright as any other kids, in fact einstein had adhd, google and find out more

PolishBigSpender

shazrobo wrote: »

ADHD, is a chemical imbalance in an individual's brain, and whatever you may think, is not caused by certain parenting styles. ADHD kids are not stupid, they can be just as bright as any other kids, in fact einstein had adhd, google and find out more

If so, why aren't similar amounts of children in my country diagnosed with ADHD?

Ritalin is a cheap solution to 'keep children quiet' - which is a rather strange view as children should be encouraged to be themselves. Unfortunately, it's a symptom of modern fashionable parenting - a child is treated as a fashion accessory, not a living human being.

I have complete faith that a significant amount of children with ADHD don't actually have it - and instead are simply given the label to excuse poor parenting/stupidity. I recall encountering one particular child of a friend in the UK. His dreadful behaviour was excused by him having ADHD - but it was clearly obvious that the parenting method was at fault, not the child.

I think it's absolutely terrible that a child, under the age of 5 can be labelled with the 'ADHD' tag - how exactly can you tell the difference between one 5 year old and another? For instance, from the BUPA website.

• inattention (ie difficulty concentrating)
• hyperactivity (disorganised, fidgeting, excessive levels of activity)
• impulsive behaviour

Are the three main problems with behaviour. But how many 5 year olds truthfully don't exhibit this kind of behaviour?