Been told my son may have ADHD, any advice pls?

astonsmummy

Janepig wrote: »

And I know it hun. And I know how hard you are on yourself despite the fact that we all know how good a mum you are to Aston - he's a gorgeous little lad. I genuinely didn't mean you at all - it just annoys me when there are parents who couldn't care less and make it so difficult for the good ones like you to be believed. :kisses3:(I was going to put a pervy hug here as a treat but it seems to have gone missing!!!!).

Jxx

AWWW thnx xx :grouphug: :rotfl:

Janepig

astonsmummy wrote: »

AWWW thnx xx :grouphug: :rotfl:

You found it!! I couldn't find it :D.

Jxx

blue_monkey_2

BigPolishSpender, you are talking out of your backside on something you have no experience of and your post is an insult to those of us with ADHD children that have to go through hours of tests and doctors - for what, nothing? Mind you, I had the same 'stupid' thoughts as you when I was younger, poor diet, bad parenting - until my son was diagnosed with it too!!

I am NOT a poor parent by any means and I would do anything for my children, indeed I have had the school praising me today and the mother that I am to my children, and my children are certianly not a fashion accessory hence my desicion to stay at home with them full time. And my son is certainly not 'thick' or 'stupid' as you have kindly labelled him. A diagnosis means they get the help they need rather than be labelled as 'disruptive' and 'naughty'. Maybe the label you was meaning to use was 'misunderstood' because of the ignorance that many people have towards this condition - as your post proved. Do you think doctors go around getting kids to pop pills to 'keep them quiet'. No, they are given medication to enable them to get through a school day and be able to learn because it is a brain condition. My son has the ability of a 6 year old and he is 4, he has all the tests but he has ADHD, Autism, behaviour problems and social communication problems. He is given healthy food and rarely eats 'junk'. He is however ADHD!

You might also have read that the children are not medicated until age 7, a diagnosis does not lead to medication so you are wrong there as well, it means they get the extra help they need as they have a medical condition.

Let's hope in the future that the children you might have turn out to have this condition, my son's headmaster was speaking about people like you today, those who turn a blind eye and refuse help or try and get the help for their child because they refuse with either accept their child needs help or that a condition exists. These are the bad parents, not those of us that are getting the help for their child that they need, our kids will not be labelled as stupid so please do not try and tell a mum who has a newly diagnosed child this, it means they will get the extra help they need to get through life. Whether or not you choose to believe it exists.

blue_monkey_2

AM, my son has been diagnosed officially with Oppositional Defiant Disorder when he was 3 1/2, when he is 7 he will be referred back to the clinic to have his offical 'ADHD' diagnosis. This is because they do not medicate children under the age of 7. Although your son will have the diagnosis he will not get medicated so please do not worry about this. You need to speak to the school as they will give you the help that you need - or should do. The school my son is at is fantastic, the one before not so good I know now, but there are some good ones out there.

It is good to keep your eyes open to the diagnosis and not refuse to accept he has it. It is better that he gets the help he needs if he needs it (my son got 1:1 for a term to help him settle) The fact that someone is going into the school is fab, I would accept all the support they are offering you like this as it is VERY hard to get and I've been having a headache at the moment so grab the opportunity with both hands. Medication will not happen until he is 7, but if your son ends up having days like my 5 year old did today, punching somoene (who hit him first though) swearing and then messing up the classroom, then I guess I have to do what has to be done to get him through school and have a decent eduction. It is not me that needs the help, it is him. I would not want him to have Chemo but if he has to have it to get him better then it has to be done. Despite what some others think, it is an imbalance in the brain and this needs to be corrected - if it takes drugs to do it then it is something that you have to think about for the future.

Don't get me wrong, I have thought about this a lot and my initial thoughts were definately not and it has been a definate no until recently. But boys grow bigger, they become harder to restrain and sometimes you have to do what is right for them and with some help from others on this board with kids with the same condition I realise that it is something that I will probably have to do for him. I'd rather consider the medication then have them thrown out of school and getting in trouble with the police for being a troublemaker and diruptive because they have no control over their feelings, hitting people in frustration. As my son gets bigger more and more problems are coming to light, they are not babies forever and I would rather they catch it early as once they are a teenager the trouble label is there and they refuse to co-operate with the docs to get that help. It is much better it is dealt with early do they are already into the docs/diagnsosis routine. In the teens is too late.

I am friends with a mum who's older boy has ADHD and he is an absolute whirlwind even on the meds, so he clearly needs them, however, you should also remember, it is a condition - not an excuse, so they still need to be told off and punished when they are naughty.

Hope that helps a little.

rchddap1

I just wanted to say that all this is useful information and thank you. Whilst for the moment my daughter has been declared normal we were prepared by the doctors very early on to expect some problems. So reading about other people's experiences of children with brain problems has been very useful.

Gingham_Ribbon

There are situations that can present themselves as very similar to ADHD so it's important that care is taken.

A child who has been through some trauma, upset or illness may display some/many signs of ADHD without having it. Very bright children may display some of the signs when in a classroom setting that is underchallenging them. (This applies to ODD too. Both ADHD and ODD are very common misdiagnoses of gifted children.)

Noctu

It's a difficult subject, and I can see both sides of it. Diagnosis rates have shot up over the last 10 years, and there are cases of kids who have been given a too-hasty diagnosis of ADHD by a doctor.

Nevertheless, there are also many, many children who have actual structural abnormalities and abnormal levels of chemicals in their brain which lend themselves to ADHD behaviours, documented by research.

The problem is the representation of ADHD in the tabloids especially ones like the Daily Mail.

What I would suggest is for parents and doctors, if they aren't already, to take a holistic approach to it. Also don't be afraid to research the drug treatments your child has been offered. Especially Strattera.

blue_monkey_2

rchddap1 wrote: »

I just wanted to say that all this is useful information and thank you. Whilst for the moment my daughter has been declared normal we were prepared by the doctors very early on to expect some problems. So reading about other people's experiences of children with brain problems has been very useful.

If you want more advice then please ask, we can also advice you on what sites to go to for help. You can PM me if you want as there is another thread running that might be more useful to you. My philosophy is that it is better to seek the help early than not at all as once they get older they rebel against the help being offered - and then it is too late. It is just nice to have other people to speak to and to get some advice. Mind you, watch that some do not blame your parenting style, you are clearly 'one of those kind of parents' :rolleyes: (can you tell that poster has annoyed me slightly....?)

I knew my son was different from the day he was born. At 6 weeks he was pushing himself around the floor with his legs, he crawled before he was 4 months, pulled himself to standing at 5 months and then he walked at 7 months. And he has not stopped since. He eats like a horse and is the size of a twiglet. Ironically he started walking on 31st October. The devil re-incarnated!! My son was a 'blue baby' and whether this contributes to his problems I cannot say. He was BF totally so could not have been getting additives from that and he has always been on the go. In fact, I had to stop feeding him earlier than my daughter as he would never sit still to have a feed in the end, I stopped BF at 9 months. He was never a happy baby until he was on his feet, I would never have another child, but please do not sit in silence or be scared off by people judging you as a parent, they have no experience of this other than 'Google' which is laughable in itself.

Noctu

blue_monkey wrote: »

My son was a 'blue baby' and whether this contributes to his problems I cannot say.

There's been some research looking at possible early infant developmental delay in the brain and some suggestions that various gene defects may contribute towards ADHD (failures with dopamine transporters). Might be interesting to have a look at.

blue_monkey_2

Gingham_Ribbon wrote: »

There are situations that can present themselves as very similar to ADHD so it's important that care is taken.

A child who has been through some trauma, upset or illness may display some/many signs of ADHD without having it. Very bright children may display some of the signs when in a classroom setting that is underchallenging them. (This applies to ODD too. Both ADHD and ODD are very common misdiagnoses of gifted children.)

Yes, but this would not continue through school would it? That would be a short term thing if it was trauma.

My son is assessed every few months by the school teacher on his IEP, docs every 6 months as well as paeds, SENCO, Social worker types, it is not getting a diagnosis and that is the end of it.

What we forget is that 10 years ago ADHD and ASD was viewed very differently. 20 years ago kids like my son would have been hidden away in a 'special school' but they have now closed these and the majority of kids go to mainstream schools unless they cannot be managed. This is why it seems there are more kids with more problems - because they are not hidden away anymore. The conditions they have are given a name now. My sister and aunt had 'learning difficulties' and 'hyperactivity', these days they would actually have a named condition. My brother most definately had ADHD and spent most of his school days getting the cane but no-one considered he had any condition as so little was known about it. Is this the price we pay for medical progress? Hardly anyone got Cancer 20 years ago, it was not that it did not exist, it was because they did not have the technology they do now to diagnosis it. There were no scans and breast screening, people just got ill. But it was always cancer. Times have changed and medicine has moved on, conditions are now given names. Is that a good or bad thing? In my experience that can only be a good thing.

Unfortunately there are children the other end of the spectrum, like my daughter, who we think is high functioning, but is good as gold at school and is a high acheiver so who do we turn to for an opinion. It is like she is possessed by the devil at times with the things she does and says. However, I would rather deal with it now than have problems when she is a teenager and she get in trouble rather than get the help she needs - if she needs it.

Each child needs to be dealt with as an indiviual, not as an 'ADHD child' because they all have different problems.