Been told my son may have ADHD, any advice pls?

bizywizy

The whole ADHD thing is a big issue isnt it. But I wish people that have biggoted views would keep them to themselves until they have truly understood things.

Ritalin helped my son learn to focus and find that he could enjoy something for more than a few minutes. Once we had those learned behaviours we have tried to go without the medication. Its not easy and he has slipped back to a certain extent but he has kept a few things thankfully. We dont want 'drugged' kids and lets face it if they are walking zombies it is the parent and professionals job to ensure that the dosage is reduced. You still want a child with spark of course as thats your baby isnt it.

Most of us will have struggled with trying to make sure our children get on the best they possibly can in their lives. We want them to fit in with their peers - we dont want them being picked on because they are always calling out, talking in class, fidgeting, not listening to people, pushing into people (by accident) and much more.

Of course we are only talking the negative things - these children have wonderful natures too. I know my son is a caring, kind and loving child but it doesnt mean that the negative things dont overwhelm us alot of the time. we still also see the positive things but its the negative things we seek help with so turn to forums and such like to get quality support - not dissing from people that really should stick to things that are going to help themselves or someone close to them.

LittleTinker

Oh.....I have 5 grown up children by the way and Grandchildren and none of them are allowed to have adhd or similar.

moggylover

LittleTinker wrote: »

This is another one who has a child who apparently has no long term interest in anything other than TV, computers and hand held electronic games.

Is it no surprise?

What on Earth are children of such young, impressionable, delicate ages doing spending all that time on such soul destroying activities??

It just seems as though a vicious circle is made early on in life and it becomes easier for parents to give in and say "Fine...which DVD do you want on?" instead of being firm and saying "Tough...we ARE going on on a walk whether you want to or not"....or something equally beneficial.

Once they are allowed to do things that are easy and sedentary, they continue with it.

I have seen so many of you Mums say, "So if letting them sit in front of the TV for a few hours gives us a break, what is wrong with that??" Hmmm....seems like that is the problem most of the time. Mums cant be bothered....so it is easier to give in and let the TV or similar have them.

I know its hard....parenting is hard especially when you have a kids who plays up and wants to watch the TV instead of other things. But it seriously is something that is much easier if the ground rules are set from day one.

For example....there was a thread the other day about pink shoes. Giving in to the want is not as simple as "Awww hes only a litte boy"....its all to do with disipline. "No...pink shoes are not practical for now. You need shoes for playschool......but, put them on your Christmas list if you still want them then"

Its all about setting boundaries and not letting children cross them......whether they are 2 or 12.

Oh God! Not another one!

We did not have tv when my son was little. We live in the bottom of a valley and cannot get reception:D . He was still highly over-active.

My sons did not get a playstation or any other games console until they were quite a bit older - my ADHD son has very little interest in them - he prefers to be physically active, although he has developed quite an interest in the Computer. He probably only watches about 6 or 7 hours of TV a week, and plays on the computer or the playstation for maybe half an hour an evening all after doing his homework.

Our routine when he was pre-school was up at 7.30, breakfast, wash and dress. Breakfast was porridge or (free range) boiled or scrambled eggs and toast with fruit juice.

After dressing we would play with jigsaws and draw and paint, read books together (he could read quite well by 2) and have a run about in the garden with a ball or a play on the swing. We would then have lunch: which was usually something like fish or soup and rolls and salads like cucumber and tomato and beetroot which he loves, followed by fruit. He did go through a difficult eating stage - I never gave in and never fed rubbish. We do not eat a diet of ready meals - I am 50 not 25 and grew up to cook proper meals from fresh food daily.

After lunch he would sleep, often for a couple of hours (and it was just like switching off a very bright light bulb - lay down, instant sleep) and when he got up we would go up to my mothers house and go for a walk with her and her dogs, sometimes not too far if the weather was bad - but usually a very long walk which he did on his own two legs and seldom needing to be carried. He was then brought home, given his supper (similar to lunch and including such things as liver and green vegetables and oily fish, etc) read to and played with quietly and then a warm bath, hair washed and bed at 6.00pm, 6.30 latest - seldom much point in trying to read him a story then, he was always asleep very quickly. He had no trouble sleeping it was when he was awake he was hell:D

There was nothing in our lives to make him hyperactive or badly behaved but he could not be left quietly to amuse himself because if he was he would put himself in danger or break things or throw himself down in a tantrum without taking care where he threw himself. My health visitor was horrified on one occasion when we took our eyes from him for mere seconds and he went off on a paddy and hit his head on a table whilst doing so - I was just glad she was there to see it so that I was not accused of child abuse:D .

I fit none of the stereotypes that you and PBS wish to use to explain away an ADHD child and its' behaviour, and I guarantee that I was strict enough and consistent enough for any non-ADHD child to conform. Indeed DS1 got there eventually, it was just longer and FAR harder for him to learn and for me to keep my patience:D

bizywizy

LittleTinker wrote: »

Oh.....I have 5 grown up children by the way and Grandchildren and none of them are allowed to have adhd or similar.

sorry but a child isnt ALLOWED to have ADHD or similiar.

NO one wants their child to be like this. I have no doubt that there are definately cases that could be assisted by a few parenting courses but the majority of us will have been through these and continue to give constant boundaries to our children.

If a grandchild or great grandchild ect came from a good background with good parenting skills and is provided with the same but displays traditional symptoms and is obviously screamingly different from the others would you not hope that you could help that child improve their quality of life???

moggylover

LittleTinker wrote: »

Oh.....I have 5 grown up children by the way and Grandchildren and none of them are allowed to have adhd or similar.

Well, that says it all folks:D :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: pmsl!

moggylover

Janepig wrote: »

Nope, I'm not budging .

Jxx

Well, I give you that you may know those particular kids and that is not the case: and I do agree that there are a lot of children who are ill-behaved because of bad parenting (but then we are never given lessons in that are we) but I can remember a number of times with my little one when I would have punched the next helpful member of the public to come along with some smug and pointless remark when I was trying to cope with him in a shop;) and I am not by nature violent:D .

Guaranteed that if I was standing still ignoring him and his paddy and just making sure he did not damage anything (hopefully including himself) whilst not giving him the benefit of any attention I would get some old lady telling me that "kids in her day would have got a good sound smacking for that sort of dreadful behaviour" and should I have the misfortune for it to be a day when I was ........well, let's say pre-menstrual and less tolerant and I did end up hauling him to his feet and administering a firm smack to his small backside then someone else would be tutting and telling me that I should not smack my child it was abuse these days;)


Many people love to criticise parents, it's a shame they cannot all agree on what they want to criticise:D

We eventually found methods to deal with it - and he and I found ways in which he could cope and I could shop - but it took a long time and a lot of tears on my part before I had a little boy who was able to focus and keep himself in check.