Reminder to Benefits board regulars

ali_p_4

As a new poster and seeking what advice i could on certain matters, I have been surprised at the amount of hostile comments I have been reading. As a moderator myself on another forum site i find it so unwelcoming and had we received posts with that attitude they would be lucky if they were still posting.

On a final note. as a single mother of 3 , we are not rolling around living a life of luxury. Some of us do work and still struggle because we are paying mortgages, overly priced ones at that because not every lender will help you when you don't earn a fortune, instead of relying on state etc .

Treat others as you would expect to be treated. One money saving tip it doesn't cost anything to be civil.

krisskross

ali_p wrote: »

As a new poster and seeking what advice i could on certain matters, I have been surprised at the amount of hostile comments I have been reading. As a moderator myself on another forum site i find it so unwelcoming and had we received posts with that attitude they would be lucky if they were still posting.

On a final note. as a single mother of 3 , we are not rolling around living a life of luxury. Some of us do work and still struggle because we are paying mortgages, overly priced ones at that because not every lender will help you when you don't earn a fortune, instead of relying on state etc .

Treat others as you would expect to be treated. One money saving tip it doesn't cost anything to be civil.

Another poster, another new poster, suggesting that if you are not offering hugs and sympathy then your input is not welcome.

Most of the advice given is pertinent if not always what the poster wants to hear.

ali_p_4

That's not what i was saying and you know it. It's not about giving the right advice, to anyone in desperation any logical advice is gratefully received. What I find offensive is those who cannot resist putting there own little snibes in..
Maybee you have not been at your witsend trying to sort out one dilema after another and hold everything together at the same time. Those people who only prefer to have these digs sometimes don't realise that they are pushing desperate people one step further. Whereas just sticking to the facts of what the op is needing help on can help them to hang on to a bit of hope.
Sorry if i don't fit into your clicke. Was it the fact i mentioned I was single parent oops.
I practise what i preach.

SomeBozo

ali_p wrote: »

That's not what i was saying and you know it. It's not about giving the right advice, to anyone in desperation any logical advice is gratefully received. What I find offensive is those who cannot resist putting there own little snibes in..
Maybee you have not been at your witsend trying to sort out one dilema after another and hold everything together at the same time. Those people who only prefer to have these digs sometimes don't realise that they are pushing desperate people one step further. Whereas just sticking to the facts of what the op is needing help on can help them to hang on to a bit of hope.
Sorry if i don't fit into your clicke. Was it the fact i mentioned I was single parent oops.
I practise what i preach.

Ali, you have missed the point.

Sticking to facts and offering advice can be : "Get a job", "Save money" and "Can the dad pay his share".

But people don't want to hear that, so get abusive.

Bozo

dmg24

ali_p wrote: »

Sorry if i don't fit into your clicke. Was it the fact i mentioned I was single parent oops.
I practise what i preach.

What is this problem with single parents?

I honestly was not aware that there was 'single parent bashing' going on. Maybe this is the problem, what some people deem to be good advice others are taking as 'bashing'? (I know, others have already said that, but you can never make a good point too many times! )

I'm feeling out of the loop now - can someone show me some of this 'bashing' please?

seven-day-weekend

I really think that we should give accurate and helpful advice, which may include, advising the poster toget a job, asking family for help, not buying expensive presents for the children etc etc, and I for one have said all these things.

But that is totally different to saying 'get off your £r$e', 'what's wrong with your family' and 'your children are spoilt'.

I personally don't think board regulars do these things, but a few people have, and it is what Andrea is talking about.

Say it loud, say it proud, but say it politely!

ali_p_4

I don't know You tell me what the problem is with single parents. I am only picking up on comments already given.
I haven't missed any point I am fully aware of both sides of the coin. Unfortunately some other people are not and judge everyone by the same standards. I wonder what you would make of my lifes tales of late. But whatever I have come out the other side, despite being driven to a breakdown, and through following my own advice.

No further comment.

SomeBozo

ali_p wrote: »

I don't know You tell me what the problem is with single parents. I am only picking up on comments already given.
I haven't missed any point I am fully aware of both sides of the coin. Unfortunately some other people are not and judge everyone by the same standards. I wonder what you would make of my lifes tales of late. But whatever I have come out the other side, despite being driven to a breakdown, and through following my own advice.

No further comment.

Ali

please don't

pick up on comments already given

please make your own mind up given the facts in front of you.

Thats what "regulars" are being asked to do.

Bozo

[Deleted User]

Lets be honest here and say that the vast majority of regular and new posters do their level best to offer advice as requested,without pre-judging anyone and without being nasty or thoughtless,on ocassions the people that ask for the advice dont always like the answers they are given,that cant be helped.

dmg24

ali_p wrote: »

I don't know You tell me what the problem is with single parents. I am only picking up on comments already given.
I haven't missed any point I am fully aware of both sides of the coin. Unfortunately some other people are not and judge everyone by the same standards. I wonder what you would make of my lifes tales of late. But whatever I have come out the other side, despite being driven to a breakdown, and through following my own advice.

No further comment.

So you cannot answer my question? It is you that is asserting that this bashing is going on, but you are unwilling/ unable to back up your assertion?

You wouldn't make a good lawyer!