having a third child

notlongnow_2

I went from two to three when my 2 were 9 and 7. I found it a lot more difficult as with two hands you can multitask two children..lol, but I dont have a third arm for the third child.

We bought a people carrier as the two oldest are getting bigger by the day and its a squash to get all three in the car.

The older two are a lot more independent now but I am consious all the time of not leaving them out, something which is easy to do. I spent 9months explaining that when baby arrives they may think im ignoring them as mum will have to spend more time with baby, but im not ignoring, its just that babies are daft and cant do anything for themselves..lol. They were happy with that.

I also find it too easy to leave baby (now toddler) with the eldest while im cooking/cleaning etc. I am really trying not to do this as I have a friend who did the exact same thing and now as teenagers they resent their parents horrendously for making them care for their siblings which in turn made them feel like they missed out on some of their own childhood. Plus my oldest sister had to look after me when I was young. I am now in my 30's and she still wont let me forget it!!lol

I found it a big difference but its ok now. Agree about holidays when you have 3 children, its more difficult to find somewhere to accomadate you all.

If you want one...go for it. After all, three is the new two..lol.

thriftlady_2

What does it matter what parents and friends say or think -it is none of their business If you and your partner want another child then go for it;)

honey

I'd say if it's what you want then go for it and don't worry what other people think.

It took us ages to decide whether to have a third child - probably 3 years of yes then no.

But now we have DS (10), DD1 (7) and baby DD2 (6 months) and I'm so, so happy that we have them. Big brother and sister adore the baby.

Good luck xxx

MrsTinks

I'd say listen to what those who have had 3 say - there ARE practical issues to consider and I think thinking there isn't is living in fantasy land BUT it is YOUR life not anyone elses so make your own decisions based on if you think you can handle the extra complications then blow rasberries at what anyone else thinks

summerlou

thankyou for your replys its nice to no other peoples views we are now selling are car any way so will make sure we have one with a big back seat lol.another big worru is my husband now works offshore on a three on three off rota so i will have to do a lot on my own but when he is home he will make up for it lol:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: thanks again

Pollycat

I agree that it should be YOU & YOUR PARTNER'S decision, not your parents or anybody else's - unless of course you're going to be expecting your parents to babysit at a time in their lives when they're planning on doing other things.
If you can afford it financially (i.e. time off work, won't need to buy a bigger house/car etc), then if it's what you really want, go for it.

I think your parents' view about age gaps is a bit weird.
There's a 4 year gap between me as the eldest and my sister, then a 14 year gap between me and my half-sister.
I don't get on with my sister but am very close to my half sister.

LilDevil

B2B-2008 wrote: »

I did become an aunt at 9 which was a bit weird but it made us all quite close. My niece is like a sister to me.

My OH is 7 months younger than his niece :eek: :rotfl:

mspig

I found it hard going from 1 to 2 children as with one i didn't have to get up early, get another child to school, pick him up etc.
But from 2 to 3 children was no different what so ever.
We have a big gap between eldest and youngest as my eldest was 9 when we had my youngest, but now their 12 and 3 there is still no probs as the eldest still plays with him and his brother(5).

From experiance in age gap, my sisters are 8 and 11 years older than me and although as a youngster they didn't do much with me, it didn't bother me but now were older it doesn't feel like theres an age gap atall. Also when they went to work i was still at school and i got spoilt rotten by them always buying me things.

ChasingButterflies

Hey sorry don't know where my brain was last night...

I missed the bit out about the gaps, because we had all of them so close together we did wonder about the bigger gap that there will be now. When we looked around at school it seemed like most other families have a 4-5 year gap (and some much more) I think it will be nice this time that our other children can be "involved" with this little one. It is also going to be huge help that they can do most things for themselves now (use the bathroom/get dressed/pour some juice etc)

Hope that makes sense

aliasojo

I think the only consideration to take into account when thinking about jumping from 2 kids to 3 is purely financial. The rest is all trivial and you'll cope no matter what.

If I'm honest, I didn't give enough thought to the financial side as I wanted another child and figured we'd manage. I wasn't prepared for just how much of a difference to costs, a 3rd child makes. Society is set up for 2 adults/2 children as the norm....anything out of the norm costs. Like Becles and bestpud said above, holidays are much more expensive, food is too, and dont even mention Xmas and birthdays, lol.

I wouldn't part with my youngest for the world, after having 2 boys, she's a breath of fresh air sometimes....but we never have any spare cash and I do think our standard of living would have been higher had we stuck at 2.