having a third child

ethelsmum

I have a son (6 this yr) and a daughter (4) this year. I have wanted a third baby for some time - at least 3 yrs probably but I started my new job two years ago and wanted to get settled in to that and concentrate on the job for a while. The age gap between my kids is only 21 mths so obviously if we have another we have got a bigger age gap this time. Also, my daughter starts school in September so it means that I would only have 1 set of childcare costs as I would have to return to work.
We have received the same remarks from parents - they think we are mad to want another when our two are growing up and at school - I tell myself to ignore them as we don't rely on them to babysit/help in anyway so really its nothing to do with them. But the remarks do bother me and I do worry about what others will say/think.
Financially, we will cope - I will continue with my part time work and our house is 3 bed so not a major issue but would probably need a bigger car - not sure how we would get round that one. Money might be a bit tight and the kids might not be able to have everything they want but I think being a close, loving family outweighs that.
Good luck with what ever you decide x

hemophobic

Don't worry about the age gaps, I am 18, I have a 16yr old brother, 7 yr old sister and a 4 month old sister!! (although my 2 sisters are half sisters and the baby lives with my dad in another house) We all get on great. Although I agree with busiscoming2 in the fact I often feel sorry for my 7yr old sister as me and my brother are usually out doing our own thing so she is kind of only child since she doesn't have anyone to play with.

homeaway

My third arrived when the eldest was not quite 4! It was hectic but having three children under 4 was always going to be! You have to do what is right for you and your husband, others will always find reasons to disagree with your decision. Number three for us just fitted in with the others. My best friend in the Uk has 4 aged from nearly 18 to 6. The hardest things she found was that she was dealing with teenagers and terrible twos at the same time but she would not change it for the world. Good luck with your decision.

Lunar_Eclipse

I don't think it matters what other people think. You are the ones that have to raise the child.

Personally I'm not a fan of big age gaps (because there was 5 yrs between me & my sister) and was grateful for two healthy children myself, but some obviously feel the need for more. I also think age, in terms of energy levels as parents and risk in pregnancy/birth, is a big factor for us. We wanted to have done babies in our 20's (just!), but we have friends still going well into their 40's. How they do it I'll never know, but it's such a personal decision you have to do what's right for your family.

ElliotReid

A friend of mine has a daughter that is almost 6 and she is in labour now with twin boys. Before they had their DD her OH was a typical lad, playfights with the boys, games consoles, nights out getting drunk with kebabs et al - now 6 years on he is such a lovely and thoughtful father who adores both his wife and daughter. Infact it was him who was the driving force for another baby when trying for the twins and said although he couldn't imagine having kids before their DD was born - he loved being a father and now wants at least 5!

So ahem. Yes. Overall it's up to you and your OH - if you can deal with it in all ways (supporting, feeding, loving, clothing) etc - go for it!

Good luck!

cte1111

I agree with people who say s0d what other people think, it's what you and your OH think that matters.

I'll not tell you the story of our neighbours who decided to try for a late third baby and ended up with triplets!

k1mmie

My personal experience is that number one was a learning curve, getting out of the house whatever time we eventually made it laden with bags of necessities. Number two was a complete shock to the system as number one was at nursery, so had to get them up and take them with me and change them and organize it all around number one. Number three was a doddle. He was changed when it suited me wherever it suited me! He would get taken out of cot put in his car seat and then shopping before he had a chance to open his eyes! lol.

Everyone will encounter different experiences but if you make it your decision you will make it work to how it suits you. Hubby would like another but I think the age gap is too big for me now and I am looking forward to different experiences. DD is 19, ds1 is nearly 16 and ds2 is 13. Few more years and it could be grandchildren - think I can wait.

Everything that has been mentioned is right. Holidays a pain - however you change your tactics and find a hotel room that takes 5. Definately agree with a MPV from the beginning. Restaurants think 5 is a large table - but book ahead. Just plan ahead and it is easier.

All I can say is enjoy them while they are young and do what is right for you both!! Oh and have fun trying!!

Sarahsaver

Go with your gut feeling.
I have 4, ages 11, 8, 7 and 3 months.
A third child may cost LESS not more if you kept baby stuff or if you use second hand/look realistically at all these 'must have' lists.
I do not need to spend out on childcare, work clothes, travel to work etc... work has its costs too!

Money_maker

I have 2ds's 13 and 12. dd is 10 months. The boys absolutely love her to bits and her gorgeous smiles and laugh reward them. Having no.3 after a big gap was a bit of a shock - lots of changes in how things are done, but all for the better.

You have to decide whether to go ahead and have another one, no one can advise you.
Good luck.