having a third child

vixarooni

my brother is 13 years older than i am, and its always annoyed me when people complain of an age gap. My brother and i have had a close relationship all our lives, we didnt argue as much when we were younger.

N71

I'm due my third in 3 weeks time! Other two are almost 12, and 8. DD, who is 8 is so excited and is already planning on feeding/changing etc etc.

I think (hope) it will be a lot easier this time. When I had DD, DS was only 3 1/2 so wasn't much help, wasn't very interested in the baby - and he started school when baby was new so we had to get up, get to school etc etc with a baby in tow.

Now i've had nearly 12 years of doing the school run - i think (again, hope) that the new one won't make a lot of difference.

And - age gaps. My only sibling is my little sister, who at almost 21, is 16 years younger than me!
I was absolutely horrified my mum was expecting as I was leaving school - but I love her to bits and we get on great. And, yes, she was a toddler as I started work - so she got/gets spoit rotten!

Mely

I think you should stick with what you have. I think the age gap would be too big(ive been through that as a child), and also with having a new baby you are more tied down/starting over again, and you wouldnt be able to devote as much time/ do things with the other two that you could before. Also babies cost a lot of money which you could use to enhance your family life with the two children you have. I wouldnt do it.

oliver2008

I completely disagree with Mely, I have 4 kids, 12, 11, 7 and 1. The youngest wasnt planned for at all but I am so pleased I had him. The older kids absolutely love him to bits, and he is coming on so fast with his talking etc because he wants to be like them. Yes its more expensive but the happiness in the house far outweighs the expense. I say go for it, its the best thing Ive done is having kids

oliver2008

Also wanted to add that there is a 10 year gap between me and my younger brother and we have always got on well and are really close.

Threebabes

Out of my 3 kids, no. 3 was the easiet by far. You know what you are doing, if you other kids are older and have school and activities, no 3 has to just slot in. My no. 3 is 5 now and my other 2 are now nearly 9 and 13. Once we had no. 3 my family felt complete. :-)

Loz01

I am youngest of 3 and my two older brothers were around 11 and 9 when I was born! But we have always got on really well, they would play with me when I was younger, we rarely fought and it was much more fun having older brothers, whereas my friends often had siblings very very close in age to them, and I used to find them a bit annoying!

An age gap can be really good as I think the older ones are more tolerant and understanding and are able to play with the youngest etc.
And like someone else said, they are more independent and able to look after themselves, so you havent got to panic about feeding/dressing lots of little ones!

Nicki

Threebabes wrote: »

, if you other kids are older and have school and activities, no 3 has to just slot in.

Please be careful about that!

My older brother and sister were both at school when I was born, and I was slotted in to all their activities. They were both sports fans and I spent the whole of my childhood (it feels like) standing on the sidelines of chilly sports fields so they could compete. I wasn't really allowed interests of my own (or rather I was but my activity would always be cancelled if it clashed in time with theirs). I am sure I was an easy child, and that my parents thought that I slotted into their existing life really well, but even now that I am a middleaged woman I resent the hell out of them for this, and look back on my childhood as an unhappy time. It really really isn't fair to treat the children unequally, and a younger one can only be expected to slot in while they are still a baby in arms. Once they get to the toddler age, in my opinion, they deserve to have as much access to activities and to have the family slot in round them, as the older children do.

biscotte

I'm the same as Becles, bestpud and notlongnow - two boys now 12 and 10 and then my 3 yo DD.

yes, life is not designed for families of 4 but most of the hassles are minor (the car is the worst problem) but it is such a pleasure to have a little one again it's well worth it.

busiscoming2

Three is no more difficult than 2, but from a personal point of view it depends on the age gap. My dd is now 21 and has left home, ds1 is away at uni and ds2 is nearly 12. The older two always played together and were 9 & 6 when ds2 was born and so he was included for a few years, but then they seemed to grow up and he has been like an only child. If I could have the time again I would have had a 4th on to give him the same companionship.