Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

Pauper_Princess

thrifty - haven't got much to add, families are hard work, especially families where someone has a drink problem, my mother was an alcoholic and died eight years ago this August just gone. Yet I am unable to stop myself falling down the same path, as it's the only thing that helps right now, and has done for a long time. But there was a time, while my mother was still alive and before life really decided to have a right old laugh at me, that I tried to get her to stop drinking, without success.

It is hard to watch someone you love throw away their life. I did it for nine years (my mother only started drinking after my father's death) and it was hell, sheer hell. I haven't any children of my own so at least I'm not putting them through the same - perhaps there is a fate then, and things do happen for a reason.

PP x

TaBunny

I am reading on here how I feel right now, I keep thinking that if I just have a drink I will feel better, I had a few last week and I slept and it stopped the pain for a while. I'm scared because I have an addictive personality I get hooked on everything from sweets to fags and had an awful time giving up smoking. I just can't stop crying though and feel like life has lost it's meaning.

LameWolf

I can so relate to the last few posts; I've decided to radically cut back on alcohol, and I have to say it's not easy, as I need it as a prop to cope in social situations (for the benefit of new posters here, I have severe social phobia, which seems to get worse as I become more disabled with lupus).

I'm not going to pack it up completely but I have to stop using it as a crutch. So I'm volunteering to drive when we go to the pub. I can leave it alone indoors, no problem, because there's just me and Mr LW, no stressful socialising to do.:o Wish me luck, people, and I'll do the same for you.

Thrifty well done on making what must have been a hard decision.

Crazy girl I agree, good idea to have your hubby with you at the Doc's. Best of luck, I hope they can get you sorted out.

PP I don't have children either. Sounds like you've had more than your share of heartache, from what you've said. (((HUG)))

TaBunny What can I say to make you feel a bit better? Will a Wolfy (((HUG))) be of any help?

Pauper_Princess

TaBunny, you sound just like me, I have an addictive personality and have been addicted to far worse things than drink (all legal though). Have you anyone that can help you through right now? I tend to try and just live/exist day to day - it's always an achievement to have gotten through another one.

Lamewolf - if I could only use alcohol as a prop! I'm the worst of both worlds, I drink when I go out cos I'm so scared (even with people I know) and then drink in the house cos I've had a bad day or some such reason. No good, I know, but hey. I've heard of lupus but can't remember what it is, isn't it very painful? Well done for volunteering to drive - wish I could be that brave

Hope everyone else (not that I know many on here yet) is surviving

PP x

LameWolf

Pauper_Princess wrote: »

Lamewolf - if I could only use alcohol as a prop! I'm the worst of both worlds, I drink when I go out cos I'm so scared (even with people I know) and then drink in the house cos I've had a bad day or some such reason. No good, I know, but hey. I've heard of lupus but can't remember what it is, isn't it very painful? Well done for volunteering to drive - wish I could be that brave

Lupus is an unpleasant (to say the least) autoimmune condition. The main problems that affect my day to day living are pain - I have constant pain in all joints, long bones and muscles that even morphine struggles to make bearable - and overpowering, bonecrushing fatigue. Five minutes mild activity can leave me reeling. There's a heck of a lot more to it, of course; rashes, hair loss, dry eyes and mucous membranes, potential organ damage, depression.... Hel, I'm depressing myself just typing it all! LOL

I'm lucky that my husband is a super chap and does his very best to make life bearable for me - but he does have to work full time, so I spend a lot of hours indoors alone, as I don't have any friends of my own.

I can only hope that you can keep your bad days to a minimum; I do understand needing a drink to wind down after a bad day, I really do; and I agree about taking each day as it comes. That's pretty much how I manage, although I like to have something good in the near future to focus on (next one for me is having Molly Dog to stay, in a couple of weeks time).

thriftyscotslass

Evening guys :wave:

Thanks for your good wishes - sending you all a very dodgy hug :grouphug:

Lamewolf - glad Mr Lamewolf is a super chap, you deserve a good 'un.

Take care all - will catch up tomorrow, Thriftyxxx

crazy_girl

lamewolf- geesh that sounds awful, your hubby sounds like a good un though


obviously obsessions come with my OCD and i can get obsessed with very odd things, like the joker from batman, eating bags full of dried pasta, watching the washing machine go round........they come and go the odd ones.....funny really i guess now

thriftyscotslass

Obsessions rule in our house too. Ds has Autistic obsessions amd special interests and OCD obsessions and compulsive behaviour - all good fun :rolleyes:. Before his diagnosis was a worrying time as we didn't have a clue what was "wrong" however now we just take the Autistic obsessions in our stride. We take more notice of the OCD obsessions as these are usually a sign of underlying anxiety and that something is wrong.

ScarletBea

I found this amazing book that just reiterates everything I've been discovering in therapy, called "The Disease to Please". Reading it is like looking at a mirror for the first time and not liking what I see....
And it's an important cause in my depression.

If anyone connects remotely with the title (or even, hey, it's ok not to be nice!!!), please search it on Waterstones or Amazon.

black_paw

i'vecgot a Obsession, thinking i have left the cooker on .,,i have to turn mains off. count the dials making shaw there turned off , check taps are not running ...about 10 times of more before i can leave the house ..can take 30 mins at times re-checking ..feel i have gone mad..only told b/f as he is nice and loving about it..and has found out if he say he will check ..we get out quicker ! while some times he say.. going along... well if it's on... your need a new house when we get back ! arrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... the good thing i suppose im allergic to alcohol and cigarettes ! so only chocolate to look forward to in time of stress ...
hope everyone is feeling better today it's nice and sunny here and warm ..joints not so much in pain to day and headache gone ...dog sound asleep in baskety