Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

LameWolf

Awww, TaBunny I'm so sorry; life's really dealt you a bum hand lately. I too am worried about this malarkey with the DLA; talk about kicking us when we're down! Don't you dare think about ending it all. I'd tell you to lay off the bottle, but then I'd have to take my own advice! Have a gentle (((HUG))) to be going on with, and I really hope things start to get better for you soon.

Thrifty did you enjoy your drive out? The countryside around here is very pretty at the moment, I hope it is where you are, too.

Wishing all Black Dog owners pain-free days.

KittyBoo_2

TaBunny wrote: »

Not been around for a long time, life has been going steadily further down the toilet this year. Condition has gotten so bad it hurts just to breath, all my bones hurt so much I have to try and block it out. No meds help so far, after 40 years not much they aint tried. Then on top that split with long term partner in August, moods up and down, depression draggin me down. Hit the bottle a bit for a few weeks, no help there but it does ease the pain and help me sleep. Can't normally sleep keep waking due to the pain, isn't life so f**ked up, now I am desperately worried about losing my DLA, most days I am one thread away from deciding to end it all if they make me a pauper on top of it all what will be the point of going on.

Sorry that you are feeling so down.
I don't know what your condition is TaBunny as I am just working my way through this thread.
I had similiar symptoms to the ones you are describing and I felt really ill.
A young Dr at our surgery sent me for some blood tests and he diagnosed something called Hyperparathyroidism.
Basically it is something to do with a gland next to your main thyroid that controls the calcium in your blood.
I had kidney stones and depression but my bones were really painful.
I couldn't sleep and was in so much pain I was on morphine painkillers.
I'm not suggesting that you have this but a trip to your Drs for a blood test would eliminate certain things.
Hope you can get some sleep later as that makes you feel a bit more able to face the day.
Take care.

thriftyscotslass

TaBunny I hope the second half of the day has been better for you - keep posting, thinking of you.

Lamewolf Dh and I had a lovely drive out in the car - we are lucky to have glorious scenery on our doorstep, coastal and countryside. I just love the colours.

All in all - not too bad a day today, mornings are still bad moodwise. I tend to drag myself through the mornings in a daze but I am lucky in that my mood tends to lift as the day progresses. Sometimes I get really frustrated with myself - my depression is not linked to pain or a physical condition; it is purely mood based (and always has been) - darn genetics :rolleyes:

The plan for tomorrow is to paint a wall, will let you all know how I get on.

Take care everyone, Thriftyxxx

ScarletBea

Work's been awful, I'm all alone tonight and my therapy keeps making me face things I don't like about me and I don't know how to change
I've got a couple of books, just to give me ideas: one specific about work, but another called "Disease to Please", which seems to be one of the reasons for my depression/anxiety/anger...
I keep wanting to experiment new things but I feel paralised.
Last couple of weeks haven't been so bad, but in the last days I've had a couple of "panic attacks", where I just want to stop right where I am, sit on the floor and not move and not see/hear anyone around me

I've been through this before... it will get better.

(and linking to the 'dosh' bit of the forum, I'm annoyed that the nhs therapist is awful and that the health insurance I get from work with BUPA doesn't pay therapy if you're been treated for it twice in your lifetime - at least I can afford to go to a really good therapist via private pay, but it's not vey fair...)

TaBunny

LameWolf wrote: »

Awww, TaBunny I'm so sorry; life's really dealt you a bum hand lately. I too am worried about this malarkey with the DLA; talk about kicking us when we're down! Don't you dare think about ending it all. I'd tell you to lay off the bottle, but then I'd have to take my own advice! Have a gentle (((HUG))) to be going on with, and I really hope things start to get better for you soon.

Hi LW I'm still here still kicking sigh. Thanks for your kind words, think I was/am just feeling very sorry for myself, not like me to feel self pity but then I suppose it catches up with us in the end. I'm doing OKish today, but I nearly didn't get out of bed, can't see the point some days. God I wish I could stop feeling sorry for myself and realise I'm luckier than some. Still there was some better news today re the DLA see here so let's hope that's true. Dr's thinking of starting me on a new 2 weekly injection, thing is it costs £250 a pop so I've got to go back in 4 weeks for another assessment, I've had 1 already. They have to do a joint count, chest x-ray, bloods for HIV, Hep A, B, C etc etc god I don't think I've lead that much of an exciting life lol. Anyhow then if I 'pass' the criteria they set, which my nurse said I will no probs then I can start on the injections. Only thing is I've heard it has horrid side effects makes you wonder if it's worth it, it's the devil if I do the devil if I don't. sigh. I'm only having one tia maria a week now and can't afford to buy a new bottle lol so my little tipple sessions will soon be at an end. I don't even like drink really haven't drunk for years so it's not an option. Thanks again to all you guys and gals for being here when I need you. xx

KittyBoo wrote: »

Sorry that you are feeling so down.
I don't know what your condition is TaBunny as I am just working my way through this thread.
I had similiar symptoms to the ones you are describing and I felt really ill.
A young Dr at our surgery sent me for some blood tests and he diagnosed something called Hyperparathyroidism.
Basically it is something to do with a gland next to your main thyroid that controls the calcium in your blood.
I had kidney stones and depression but my bones were really painful.
I couldn't sleep and was in so much pain I was on morphine painkillers.
I'm not suggesting that you have this but a trip to your Drs for a blood test would eliminate certain things.
Hope you can get some sleep later as that makes you feel a bit more able to face the day.
Take care.

Hi Kittyboo, thanks for your thoughts. My conditions are:
Rheumatoid Arthritis since age 4 (juvenille stills disease)
Osteoporosis, this apparently is what causes the bones all over my body to hurt like hell
Costigan Mandibular Syndrome (basically RA has spread to my skull)
and I had my thyroid removed 16 years ago due to it being over active and nearly killing me, so now I'm over weight and on thyroxin and due to the RA can't exercise so the extra weight increases the strain on my joints sigh. LOL well there ya go I'm sure I've got a few more things lurking in my body but don't want to know about them eek. Oh and I have OCD I'm scared of choking so don't eat much sigh, la dolce vita ay

I've been on morphine before when I fell and smashed my hip but I had a bad allergic reaction to it so don't think they'd give me the patches for the pain. Oh well I live in hope what else can we do ay.

thriftyscotslass wrote: »

TaBunny I hope the second half of the day has been better for you - keep posting, thinking of you.

Thank you thrifty I will keep posting just so I can stay sane I think

LameWolf

Afternoon all.

ScarletBea, hi, sorry you were so low last night, I hope today is a bit better. You're right though, it will get better.:o

TaBunny not everyone gets horrid side-effects with every medicine; maybe you'll be lucky, and it'll do you good with no nasty bits. I hope so. I'm on morphine now, but I take it as a sustained-release tablet, and it's the best thing since sliced bread imho.:cool::o

KittyBoo I'd no idea there was a glandnext to the thyroid - you sure do get an education on here!

Thrifty mornings! aaarrrggghhh! I was only saying to Mr LW when he hauled me out of the bath earlier (sorry if you're eating and could've done without that image:D) I think mornings should be abolished! The annoying thing is, I used to think nothing of geting up at 05:00 and tackling a basket full of ironing.

Onwards and upwards, people. I'm a bit pleased with myself in that I managed to clean the outside of the patio door and adjoining window. It's knocked me for six doing it, but I can actually see out now!:D;)

black_paw

hope everyone feeling better..im nearly having i can't cope seeion..as had 2 powers cuts so far each evening all night to early morning..and been so worried ..as im deaf..one the fir alarm won't go off..two..as no electric me wobblers won't go off..so have not had much sleep..now it seems the shy box (freeveiw no payment with sky ) i have is dead and have been having to phone people grrrrrrrr the brain is fried ..to take mine off matter's going round to mums and taking her to town for shop...and hopefully it will all past....hands don't fell connected to body ..they type on there own ..LOL

LameWolf

Oh no, Paw, what's going on with the electric? Have you contacted the electric company to find out what they're playing at? Funny enough, Mr LW and I were just discussing our strategy for dealing with power cuts the other day - we have a gas hob so we could still have hot food and drink, and last year I bought two wind-up LED lanterns, so we'd have a light source. Biggest problem for me would be being without the internet - it's my lifeline!
Hope you can get back to normal soon.

KittyBoo_2

LameWolf wrote: »

Afternoon all.

ScarletBea, hi, sorry you were so low last night, I hope today is a bit better. You're right though, it will get better.:o

TaBunny not everyone gets horrid side-effects with every medicine; maybe you'll be lucky, and it'll do you good with no nasty bits. I hope so. I'm on morphine now, but I take it as a sustained-release tablet, and it's the best thing since sliced bread imho.:cool::o

KittyBoo I'd no idea there was a glandnext to the thyroid - you sure do get an education on here!

Thrifty mornings! aaarrrggghhh! I was only saying to Mr LW when he hauled me out of the bath earlier (sorry if you're eating and could've done without that image:D) I think mornings should be abolished! The annoying thing is, I used to think nothing of geting up at 05:00 and tackling a basket full of ironing.

Onwards and upwards, people. I'm a bit pleased with myself in that I managed to clean the outside of the patio door and adjoining window. It's knocked me for six doing it, but I can actually see out now!:D;)

I'd never heard of it myself.
When they removed it, it was 42 times bigger than it should have been and I didn't even know I'd got it. Apparently it should be smaller than a grain of rice.
Still not recovered now and been really depressed and had panic attacks etc.

ScarletBea

Thank you, today I was able to laugh at the stupid people and I bought a red jumper that made me feel good (and a bag of gummy bears hehe)