Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

pipkin71

:o:o Hope I didn't kill off the thread, whilst feeling sorry for myself yesterday :o:o

black_paw

pipkin71 wrote: »

Hope no-one minds me jumping in on the thread.

I'm having quite a tough time today :(:(

My hands are so painful - especially first thing in the morning, and it takes a while for them to have some sort of flexibility.

I'm so tired of having to deal with all the little problems that arise from my main health issue, having to live with popping pills to avoid the chronic pain that never quite seems to go away, increasing pills to disguise what's going on internally and it all just seems too much today

As much as I try to look at positives, it doesn't always work , and not being one to burden others I deal with things the best way I know how.

The black mood I feel surrounding me today seemed heavier as I had to rely on DD to open a can of beans, because I couldn't operate the opener, nor could I unlock the window and everything seems so unfair

Sorry for the intrusion Life really does know how to knock you back at times

just like some of my days ! snap !
roll out of bed on to floor to get up , my arms and hands are always numb in the morning i try to do stretch exercises to get them to move again
! i got electric opener to help open cans , but have days when can't even peel 3 potatoes for myself.. it's so *******!! i keep some ready meals in freezer and chips /pasta ect for them days , but even lifting a pan of veg in water i dropped the over day , kettle nearly always have 3inch of water due to weight ,

your right mega black mood i want my life back and do thing i use to do ! i gave up the pills as was a walking zombie the whole time ,
now i say in resting a day so i can go out for a few hours the next day , if i managed small hoover i always lay down after for a few hours to recover this seems to work for me ,, but i spend some much time asleep i miss lots... rats ...rats ...rats....
lucky we have this page to nag and natter on and share our feeling when things are bad bad

mega hugs to all

veggyboy

pipkin71 wrote: »

:o:o Hope I didn't kill off the thread, whilst feeling sorry for myself yesterday :o:o

No you definatly didn't do that, we all have days like this. Only a year ago I used to do so much and now can't even walk my dog half the time. I get so fed up of being ill all the time. I sat there crying tonight because of it. So don't worry, this is waht this thread is for. Some times we are all a bit slow in answering thats all.:o

whitevanwoman

If it's any consolation, I had a long whinge on another thread yesterday, I'm very low at the moment. The crisis team want to admit me to hospital but I don't want to go and am stressing about my pets and finances. My "local" hospital is 40 miles away and I don't have any family and very few friends (depression is such a lonely illness and you really do find out who your true friends are when you are depressed) who can help out or visit and bring food, clothes etc whilst I'm in, so I think it would do more harm than good in terms of worry and anxiety.

Don't worry about posting when you are low - that's the whole point of the thread. Even if you are not alone at home, you can feel very alone when you are depressed and low, and I can say things online which I can't say to people I know face to face.

pipkin71

black_paw wrote: »

just like some of my days ! snap !
roll out of bed on to floor to get up , my arms and hands are always numb in the morning i try to do stretch exercises to get them to move again
! i got electric opener to help open cans , but have days when can't even peel 3 potatoes for myself.. it's so *******!! i keep some ready meals in freezer and chips /pasta ect for them days , but even lifting a pan of veg in water i dropped the over day , kettle nearly always have 3inch of water due to weight ,

your right mega black mood i want my life back and do thing i use to do ! i gave up the pills as was a walking zombie the whole time ,
now i say in resting a day so i can go out for a few hours the next day , if i managed small hoover i always lay down after for a few hours to recover this seems to work for me ,, but i spend some much time asleep i miss lots... rats ...rats ...rats....
lucky we have this page to nag and natter on and share our feeling when things are bad bad

mega hugs to all

I'm not sure I could do without the combination of pills I take black paw, even though they add to how I feel

My hands aren't as bad today, but I'm going to get the electric can opener, in case I have the same thing again. I also drop lots of things and have to rest after a day out.

I wish life was 'normal' again. I knew things would deteriorate health wise, but wasn't expecting how quickly they have. My mind still works fine, it's my body that doesn't always want to

Today's a better day, so I have to make the most of it.

Hugs all

dane-katie

Sending (((HUGS)))) to everyone

I am back at the doctors today, see how that goes get put back on antidepressants, see what they can do for me, i had crisis team out the other week because of the voices i hear, yet they said its all in my head!!! i seem to be stuck i want help yet cant get it

LameWolf

Hi Pipkin, I've only just seen your post. Your description sounds soooo familiar. My hands also are totally useless in the mornings; sometimes Mr LW has to hold my glass of water for me to take my 9 (count 'em, 9:D) morning tablets, because I can't manage to grip it myself.

I fully know what you mean about the chronic pain that never totally goes away, too.

Yes, I agree, we try to put on a smile for our friends/family etc, because no-one wants to be around a total grouch, but we need somewhere to be able to let it all out. So you're very welcome here - I don't usually get online before about midday (totally flaked out by time Mr LW has left for work) and I tend to sign off mid afternoon, to rest ready for when he comes home, so as Veggyboy said, its just we might be a bit slow answering sometimes.

Whitevanwoman I understand your reluctance to go into hospital - I'd feel the same, I think. Can I ask what animals you have? This is purely [STRIKE]nosiness[/STRIKE] interest on my part, as I love animals.:o

Black paw just re-read your post re heavy kettles; I have a 1 pint plastic jug that I use for transferring water to/from the filter jug and the kettle, because I find them too heavy. It's something Mr LW said his Grandma did, and I thought "what a good idea". That way I don't have to carry the kettle across the kitchen.

My turn for a bit of a whine if I may? I notice that when I'm typing posts I think one thing and type a totally different word, so I have to re-read my posts 3 or 4 times before pressing submit. Case in point: in my reply to Black paw above, I typed the word "just" instead of "jug" at first. Doesn't even make sense! I never used to do this, and it's getting worse! OK, whine over.:D

Have a good day today, folks.

black_paw

i think its the key board writing wrong !! b/f said keyboard is not typing want you put in ....OMG...he could be one of us now !! my key board is sort of rounded and some keys are bigger than other's , it suppose help poorly hands.
lw we think alike i use small jug to get water from filter jug to kettle and fill about 3 in water.

not only slow at answering you also have to guess the words :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

this makes it much more fun :T

like cwta black paw dead duck pictures :rotfl::rotfl:

dane-katie

Hiya, well i am feeling fantastic! i am on a major high, like i have been on and off for a while, just been to the doctors again! and managed to get referred to see a psychiatrist (sp) doctor thinks i might have bi-polar and has sent an urgent request to get me help! finally i have only been going there about it 3 years! :P

I will eventually come down but while i am up i am going to enjoy it, i even managed to spend 2 hours or so cutting the grass in the garden.

pipkin71

Thank you all.

I did feel like an intruder the other day, but you have all made me feel very welcome

It's a good idea to pour water into the kettle from a jug LameWolf, as it will save carrying the kettle. I have had problems with dropping things - more so lately, and a few dinners have ended on the floor Luckily, I can get DDs to help take things out of the microwave ect.

Do your hands ease up throughout the day? On Monday, mine were so stiff for most of the day, but they have been ok since. I have a painful trigger finger on the left hand, and one starting on the right, but all fingers were useless Monday

I fell today, as my foot decided not to work, but DDs and their friend were able to help me up - after a few minutes! It felt more like 20 minutes, but that was the embarrassment factor :o

dane-katie, things must be really tough for you, wanting help but not being able to get it. I hope you have had some success with your GP today.

Edited to add: You posted whilst I was typing Katie. It must be a relief that you will finally be getting referred to someone who can diagnose what's wrong.