Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

crazy_girl

dlm wrote: »

How old are you CG?

I am 35 and have not had children for various reasons.

One of the reasons is my health.

Tell your hubby that you will have his baby as long as he knows that he will probably end up looking after you both.

If he can cope with the pressure have the baby.

It might give you a reason to live x x

im 26 and hubby is 27

i like your advice, made me smile

crazy_girl

pipkin71 wrote: »

I'm not sure that's wise dlm.

Pregnancy puts a great strain on the body - both physically and mentally.

crazy_girl, I can understand why you would feel this way, especially knowing that your OH would like to have a baby.

You don't say how old you are, but perhaps if you concentrate on getting better, then the time to think about babies will follow.

Have you discussed this with your OH? What does he say?

We all make choices in life, and your OH is standing by you, because he wants to.

Sending ((((HUGS)))) your way.

he thinks that after a year im gonna be fine

my grandma got pished at xmas and kept saying 'next year we want the pitter patter of tiny feet' and hubby was agreeing with her!

pipkin71

crazy_girl wrote: »

he thinks that after a year im gonna be fine

my grandma got pished at xmas and kept saying 'next year we want the pitter patter of tiny feet' and hubby was agreeing with her!

That wouldn't have helped you.

Your husband could have been agreeing with your grandma as it was the easy thing to do.

No-one knows when you will be feeling better, but you are still young enough to wait before having children.

It's important now to think about you, and getting yourself better. A baby can affect you so much, emotionally and that wont be fair on anyone.

Of course, you have to do what you feel is right, but don't feel that you are being pushed one way or the other. Try to talk to your OH about it

dawn1974

crazy_girl wrote: »

im 26 and hubby is 27

i like your advice, made me smile

I am glad I have made you smile.

Take it easy x x

sandy71

RBK I hope you are getting lots of care and help, we are all here for you. x

CG I agree with pipkin, I think your husband was agreeing with your grandma because it's easier and keeps the peace. Have you both discussed it properly just you and him. It is a huge decision to make for anyone. Could you ask him to wait until you have had a diagnosis then discuss it again. I had terrible PND after my last one was born and I'm sure that made my depression worse, I have never really been right since.

I can see what dlm was saying about it giving you a reason to live but equally I very often feel my children would be better off without me. I'm miserable, I shout at them and a lot of the time I am just no fun. I feel like I am ruining their childhood.
I'm not saying this will happen to you, I am just trying to give the other side.
Hope you are ok. x

Hello to everyone else :wave:

feelinggood_2

I concieved my suprise baby a few weeks after a suicide attempts. Raising a baby whilst in the depths of despair is so very hard and not a day goes by where I don't worry I did the wrong thing.

crazy_girl

sandy im sure thats not the case with your kids x

sandy71

crazy_girl wrote: »

sandy im sure thats not the case with your kids x

It is unfortunately.

meg72

sandy71 wrote: »

RBK I hope you are getting lots of care and help, we are all here for you. x

CG I agree with pipkin, I think your husband was agreeing with your grandma because it's easier and keeps the peace. Have you both discussed it properly just you and him. It is a huge decision to make for anyone. Could you ask him to wait until you have had a diagnosis then discuss it again. I had terrible PND after my last one was born and I'm sure that made my depression worse, I have never really been right since.

I can see what dlm was saying about it giving you a reason to live but equally I very often feel my children would be better off without me. I'm miserable, I shout at them and a lot of the time I am just no fun. I feel like I am ruining their childhood.
I'm not saying this will happen to you, I am just trying to give the other side.
Hope you are ok. x

Hello to everyone else :wave:

Sandyjust had to say lease never ever think your kids will be better off
without you I know from recent exerience that they wont be ,believe me

You may not be much fun at the moment but they will forgive that, they will never forgive you if you leave them their lives will be shattered, their
agony unbearable.

Best wishes hoe you soon feel better.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

I'm at home for a few hours so thought I'd come and update.

Thank you for your kind messages I am OK. There isn't much to do on the ward and the activities seem to be during the week. However, the weather has caused most of the activities to be cancelled as staff can't get in. The weekend has no activities at all.

The staff seem OK, except that they don't do much with us. Other patients are pleasant but the majority seem to be a fair bit older than me.

I am feeling safe being in here, just a bit bored.

How is everyone else?

(((HUGS))) to all.