Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

sandy71

My husband constantly moans about the state of the house (Its not that bad and most of the mess is his) his shirts aren't ironed, or ironed properly, etc. Even the kids say "Your a bad mother"

I've had enough.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

I hope the drugs start working soon.

It sounds as though your friend is being rather insensitive. I think I'd give her some space and wait for an apology. A friend should be there through both the good and the bad times. It sounds like you could really do with someone being there for you right now.

Children often say nasty things and don't mean it. I'm sure they love you very much. As for your OH, I think I'd have a word with him if I were you. He has no right saying such a thing to you. Is he going through a difficult time right now? If so, maybe this would explain how he's being towards you.

Hang in there Sandy. xxx

Sugar_Coated_Owl

sandy71 wrote: »

My husband constantly moans about the state of the house (Its not that bad and most of the mess is his) his shirts aren't ironed, or ironed properly, etc. Even the kids say "Your a bad mother"

I've had enough.

I think I'd be inclined to say if it bothers him that much then he knows where the iron is.

dawn1974

You are unwell Sandy.

Surely he knows that.

Tell him that you need to concentrate on yourself at the moment getting better.

I hope the medication works soon.

You are having to cope with so many things.

The depression itself is a battle to deal with and on top of that you have the seizures.

Is there no family member that can help with the children etc...

Take it easy x x

Rachel021967

Sorry your unwell at the moment Sandy. You do your best and your husband and children need to acknowledge that. You not only cope with your own disabilities but with a child with ADHD. Many people without a physical disability would find it difficult under the circumstances. You keep on going, your fantastic.
As for your friend, you have to ask is the relationship right for you. You need to think about all the pros and cons and decide if the effort is worth it.
From best I remember from the "Parking in a parent and child" thread you had a child under 5. Homestart is a charity that offer support and friendship for a family coping with difficult circumstances and have a child under 5. Maybe your care coordinator or health visitor could refer you. Also for children over 5 their might be a "Young Carers" charity (for us it's called Surrey Young Carers). They offer groups and workshops for children with parents with a disability. They get to have fun in a supportive environment.

Also would your family be willing or able to split some of the chores between them?

Careful_with_that_Axe

Huge to everyone who is still struggling. This can be an awful time of year.

I was watching Cranford last night and enjoying it and suddenly found myself in floods of tears.
Am still very tearful now and really don't know how to get myself out of the mood. Have got over being angry at Sis and am now unbelievably hurt by her actions.
Have done nothing today except sit and drink cups of tea.I know I would feel better if I got off my butt and did something, but just can't motivate myself.

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Hi CWTA sounds like you could do with a hug so have a virtual (((HUG))) from me Drinking tea is good Do you have any plans for the rest of the week?

pipkin71

Rachel021967 wrote: »

Also for children over 5 their might be a "Young Carers" charity (for us it's called Surrey Young Carers). They offer groups and workshops for children with parents with a disability. They get to have fun in a supportive environment.

I would second the young carer's groups.

My DDs go to one and it is run by lovely, supportive youth workers.

Careful_with_that_Axe

Thank you for the hug razorbladekisses. Nope, nowt ahead for the week except time. I have been throwing myself into knitting quite a bit (which I've just taken up) as I feel more occupied when I'm doing that and watching TV iyswim.
Thought I could do some housework (really needs doing) but even that's solitary.

One thing that occurred to me is going down to local Cat Rescue place and helping out but in reality I know I wouldn't get round to it - I can't drive after dark which makes it a little more difficult to go out and do things in the winter.

I don't have any friends in the area - nearest pal is 50 miles away and I just don't have the energy to drive up to see her.

Unity

Careful_with_that_Axe wrote: »

Huge to everyone who is still struggling. This can be an awful time of year.

I was watching Cranford last night and enjoying it and suddenly found myself in floods of tears.
Am still very tearful now and really don't know how to get myself out of the mood. Have got over being angry at Sis and am now unbelievably hurt by her actions.
Have done nothing today except sit and drink cups of tea.I know I would feel better if I got off my butt and did something, but just can't motivate myself.

Knowing the physical problems we both contend with, I can safely say that you need to let this flare take it's course. Don't even think about getting motivated just now.

Sometimes we need to cry - it's part of the balance for the laughing that we do. I confess I have days when I do nothing but sit and drink tea, but I know if I tried to get motivated I would be pushing against a brick wall and I would end up feeling much worse for the days to follow. I think the secret is to listen to your body and to allow yourself the time to feel down.

The worst thing for me is the guilt I feel at feeling depressed, the time I feel I waste in being down - but when I reason it out I find myself asking why there should be any guilt attached to feeling down, any more than I should feel self-righteous in being happy.

I'm afraid I haven't slept properly in weeks now so I may not be making any sense at all - but I hope you know what I mean CWTA .