Black Dog of Depression - can we help each other?

darknesshayz

I'm just feeling argh today!

I am feeling angry and confused today . I have no idea about what to do with the dilemma I am in, which is making me even more confused :S.... I also want to get revenge on my abusive ex, but I have no idea on how to go about it.... .... basically many years ago he abused my brother, and now he (the ex) has a child of his own, and I dunno if to open my mouth and put my brother through alot of pain of reliving the past, or just say something and try and not get my younger brother involved.... or just leave it, I am just so confused *hits head on wall*

System

Gradual withdrawal with close supervision?? No its more like they cba to try and treat me anymore so despite the fact they know me off meds=very bad news they are willing to make me drop to my lowest again, just to see me like that with no other support and oh yeah its Christmas...that wonderful time of year where i always get worse (and they have records of that). If i thought i was stable enough, and it wasn't xmas, and i hadn't felt drastically worse for the past 4 months i'd consider it time to try cuttting down my meds. But now is not that time.

it seems more like she wants to change my meds, got a copy of a lettter today that says about being on a mood stabiliser. Though i'm near certain it will interfere with my pill. But then i'm screwed cos i hated the implant for the constant periods and i put on 4 stone with the injection. meh

sandy71

Messedup thats awful, sending you hugs. Not much use but its all I have.

Can you not get a second opinion It can't be right just leaving you to it.
Two of my eppy drugs are also used as mood stabilisers and both say they can affect the effectivness of the pill.

Thinking of you x

Unity

sandy71 wrote: »

Morning everyone. Hope you are all doing as well as possible.

Messedup, hope things go ok for you.

Unity I never thanked you properly for your help last week so thank you. x

Hello and hugs to everyone else.

I'm not too bad today, managed to give the hound a longer than usual walk this morning and got a friend coming in a bit to take me out for coffee and some christmas shopping.

Ah Sandy, you did thank me - and really it's not necessary but thank you - I take it in the spirit it was given :T. I am so pleased to hear you are not so bad today.

darknesshayz wrote: »

I'm just feeling argh today!

I am feeling angry and confused today . I have no idea about what to do with the dilemma I am in, which is making me even more confused :S.... I also want to get revenge on my abusive ex, but I have no idea on how to go about it.... .... basically many years ago he abused my brother, and now he (the ex) has a child of his own, and I dunno if to open my mouth and put my brother through alot of pain of reliving the past, or just say something and try and not get my younger brother involved.... or just leave it, I am just so confused *hits head on wall*

Darknesshayz - I am so sorry to hear of your troubles, but alas I don't know what to advise. The only abuse I have suffered was mental torture in a Catholic school, where I was singled out for being an 'only child' not the done thing :rolleyes:.

xXMessedUpXx wrote: »

Gradual withdrawal with close supervision?? No its more like they cba to try and treat me anymore so despite the fact they know me off meds=very bad news they are willing to make me drop to my lowest again, just to see me like that with no other support and oh yeah its Christmas...that wonderful time of year where i always get worse (and they have records of that). If i thought i was stable enough, and it wasn't xmas, and i hadn't felt drastically worse for the past 4 months i'd consider it time to try cuttting down my meds. But now is not that time.

it seems more like she wants to change my meds, got a copy of a lettter today that says about being on a mood stabiliser. Though i'm near certain it will interfere with my pill. But then i'm screwed cos i hated the implant for the constant periods and i put on 4 stone with the injection. meh

This is just awful - you need a second opinion and to stand firm, certainly until after Christmas. This is not the time to be messed around as you well realise - where is common sense with these people?

Unity

I just wanted to mention, before I forget - that I will be away from tonight, for the weekend.

DD2 booked this weekend for a family reunion. She booked it during the summer - before all the floods and it is in Cockermouth :eek:. We've been assured that the accommodation has not been affected and the local pub is just half a mile away :beer: so we are still going. We feel we have to show our support and possibly be among the first tourists to venture back to that part of the world.

Even if it is like a war zone - I am sure we will make the best of it as we Brits do :rotfl:.

My black dog will remain tethered in the back garden next to his kennel with plenty of food and water, to guard the place whilst I'm away .

Take care of yourselves and have a good weekend.:hello:

KittyBoo_2

Unity wrote: »

Hello KittyBoo - I'm glad you've found the Samaritans :T. If you e-mail them and this thread you'll find there is always someone to help - even if just by listening.

Do you find the morphine based painkillers make you feel very cold? I've heard that they lower the core body temperature, but I don't know if it's this or getting the thyroxine I'm taking to the right dosage. It gets to the stage where I don't want to leave the house for fear of the cold, but I can easily get to the agoraphobic stage and that only causes more depression .

As for lights at the end of tunnels, I have opposing views on these - one - take care, it's an oncoming train and two - if it suddenly goes out it will be some money saving expert saving on the leccy :rolleyes: :rotfl:.

The weather is beautiful here - glorious sunshine and for me it is the best natural mood-enhancer there is, helped along by those on prescription .

May everyone have the best possible day, with low pain and anxiety levels

Love Unity :happyhear

Thankyou for your reply.
Since taking the morphine based painkillers I have never been able to get warm either
I wear full length thermals and even that is not enough and suffer so bad that I have to get in a warm bath or put the eleccie blanket on and go to bed.
Interesting that you have thyroid problem as I had a parathyroidectomy last year and have never been right since.
Depression, agrophobia etc all started then.
Hope everyone can get a bit of peace of mind today.

sandy71

So much for "friends" our coffee and shopping trip never happened. She text me to say a different friend of hers had asked if she could come so she didn't think I would want to go as I didn't know this other woman.

I am so upset I was really looking forward to it. I am finding myself wishing I had taken more tablets before. I will next time.

willa

Have a lovely weekend Unity.
Kittyboo, I know how you feel about the cold thing. I have had 'thermostat' problems for years, sometimes feeling unbearably hot for no apparent reason, but more often the opposite. My feet are like blocks of ice unless the weather is warm.
Sometimes the only way I can get warm, as you say, is to get into a hot bath. The watery heat seems to work where other kinds don't. Hot water bottles are also my very good friends.
I've had my throid tested, fine apparently.
I've got M.E. and I know that affects all the bodily systems and creates lots of weird symptoms.
I once was kindly given some free acupuncture, and the therapist told me I should avoid cold drinks (which I LOVE - cold and fizzy), and cold food, and should wear lots of red because it was good for me. Very interesting.
Anyway, there is a bit of sun outside my window today and I must admit the sight of it gives me some instant cheer of some kind.
Off to lie down on sofa wrapped in a quilt for a bit and watch some David Dickinson.
Bye for now x

KittyBoo_2

willa wrote: »

Have a lovely weekend Unity.
Kittyboo, I know how you feel about the cold thing. I have had 'thermostat' problems for years, sometimes feeling unbearably hot for no apparent reason, but more often the opposite. My feet are like blocks of ice unless the weather is warm.
Sometimes the only way I can get warm, as you say, is to get into a hot bath. The watery heat seems to work where other kinds don't. Hot water bottles are also my very good friends.
I've had my throid tested, fine apparently.
I've got M.E. and I know that affects all the bodily systems and creates lots of weird symptoms.
I once was kindly given some free acupuncture, and the therapist told me I should avoid cold drinks (which I LOVE - cold and fizzy), and cold food, and should wear lots of red because it was good for me. Very interesting.
Anyway, there is a bit of sun outside my window today and I must admit the sight of it gives me some instant cheer of some kind.
Off to lie down on sofa wrapped in a quilt for a bit and watch some David Dickinson.
Bye for now x

It's a nightmare really because you never seem to get warm.
Even though I have full thermals on, the tops of my legs are really cold and I have thermal socks and Ugg boots on and my feet are freezing.
Only place I am warm is in bed and even then it takes me ages to get warm.
I agree about the hot water bottle.
There is something very comforting about them.
Enjoy David Dickinson.

darknesshayz

I have got myself in a terrible state!

I am trying to find someone on Facebook, that I miss alot, well he isnt on there. But I managed to find my abuser on there, and I really wanted to self halm myself, but the only thing I did was pull my hair, and hit my head a few times on the chiar.... I want to do worse, but I cant, would be great saying to my mum ''oh happy birthday mum, guess whos on Facebook?''...... He is on the sex offenders register, surely Facebook cant let that scum on there, I am typing this shaking, raging, crying, pulling hair...... if I dont tell my mum, I know I'll worry about it, but I dont want to spoil her birthday..... I just want to grab a razor blade to make me feel happier.... cause thats what it does makes me happy.....

Surely Facebook cant have sex offenders on there site, can they? if thats the case, then I might have to leave, because I cant deal with knowing Facebook allows scum like them on there. My local Victerm Support tried to do something about it, and I reported him, but I just dont know, I want to do something to end the misery I am feeling, the hurt that im feeling..... I want to hear the words ''its ok, its going to be ok'', but its far from that, and Ive ended up back to square 1.....

I really cant wait to see my counciler, I think I need to see one soon before I lose it complitely!!

Sorry about the post, I am just in a state... I thought I could deal with it being 24, but I cant!!