please help! cant cope anymore!

Broken_hearted

We get nowhere near the amount you get so am with the creditors in that you could pay.

As for DLA it shouldn't be counted but quite often is.

homealone_2

Broken_hearted wrote: »

We get nowhere near the amount you get so am with the creditors in that you could pay.

well its lucky that i am not asking you then isnt it!!

Broken_hearted

homealone wrote: »

well its lucky that i am not asking you then isnt it!!

Yes cos you don't like the truth.

homealone_2

i just cant stop crying and have only my mum and son as family and they are so worried about me already i cant put all this on them as well! i am still coming to terms with my husband leaving me 7 weeks ago. i hate him for putting me in this position but still find myself missing him which makes me really angry with myself. i keep stacking and re-stacking this ever growing pile of paperwork, reminders and letters informing me of charges. each moring i pick up this pile and spend hours making calls and number crunching and then end up in agony and staring at pile at the end of the day feeling i am getting nowhere nearing to sorting this mess out.
i called back the clear start agency and told them what the dla people said and as predicted they said it made no difference to them what it was intended for at the end of the day its income. she went on to say she would help anyway she could if i took the advice already given to go down the IVA route but basically i was on my own if i decided to go bankrupt. as the initial advice was bankruptcy route my papers were sent to a firm of solicitors already so she suggested i waited till they got in touch to talk to them and see what they have to say but she cant see them saying any different. so here i am again at the end of another day in tears. i know it may seem on paper that i can manage ok financially but in reality for whatever reason its not happening. i'm sorry if some of you feel i shouldnt even be on here. but none of this debt is my fault, if it had come about from reckless spending or gambling i would say i had coming to me whatever was on its way. but these were my husbands debts that he left in my name and wont even answer my calls or texts that have begged him to help me since the day he walked out so please dont judge me too harshly

kezza90

Hi homealone,

would it help for you to talk face to face with someone? are you able to visit the citizens advice bureau? they have dedicated people to deal with debt issues, that is where i went and they recommended bankruptcy, the lady was friendly, helpful and full of good advice, plus if she didnt know the answer to a question she was honest with me, tried to find out or pointed me in the right direction. I've got to say it was the best decision i made at the time going bankrupt!

I was the same as you, my ex left me with lots of debt, in my life i have never missed a payment on debt and had an excellent credit rating but he also left me with a house to pay for, unfortunately some people just arent good at dealing with responsibility, but i've found that it isnt until you have to go through something like this that you actually find out how strong a person you are. It's 8 months now since I split with my ex and i still think about him every day but he has never once been in touch to ask how i'm coping with anything and that was after 9 years together, but i have coped.

Please stay strong, your family will be supportive and you have a very good support network on here. Any question you have just ask, we will all try our best to help.

From reading your situation I really think bankruptcy sounds like the best option for you, it would pretty much solve your worries of debt, when you go bankrupt you wouldnt have to put up with the letters or phone calls as your OR will contact them all and you just ignore all of the companies.

Nobody on here will judge you, everyone is on this post for a whole range of reasons, but that is insignifiant now, the only thing to think about is going forward and sorting out this problem. Be strong, you will be surprised how much you can cope with and sort out xxx

RAS

homealone wrote: »

i just cant stop crying and have only my mum and son as family and they are so worried about me already i cant put all this on them as well! i am still coming to terms with my husband leaving me 7 weeks ago. i hate him for putting me in this position but still find myself missing him which makes me really angry with myself.

Things are too new and raw and it may be that you need to give yourself a bit of time, and not try to sort it by tomorrow orr even next week?

i keep stacking and re-stacking this ever growing pile of paperwork, reminders and letters informing me of charges. each moring i pick up this pile and spend hours making calls and number crunching and then end up in agony and staring at pile at the end of the day feeling i am getting nowhere nearing to sorting this mess out.

So promise you will not touch that paperwork tomorrow, or over the weekend?

i called back the clear start agency and told them what the dla people said and as predicted they said it made no difference to them what it was intended for at the end of the day its income. she went on to say she would help anyway she could if i took the advice already given to go down the IVA route but basically i was on my own if i decided to go bankrupt.

First things first, please do not talk to a company that charges fees.

And of course they would like to help you do an IVA - they will get £5-10,000 worth of fees for setting it up.

They are not going to help you go bankrupt because that require fees of about £1500 to be paid out by them. You can do it yourself for about £400 or let the HMRC do it for you at no cost.

these were my husbands debts that he left in my name and wont even answer my calls or texts that have begged him to help me since the day he walked out so please dont judge me too harshly

BH gets her knuckles rapped regularly on here and has some fierce spats with regular posters. She has chosen to do a long DMP coverig their debts.

Do you have £30K to pay off those debts?

If not, stop worrying.

There is one debt that matters, and that is the rent. Get that sorted and forget the rest.

startagain_2

Broken_hearted wrote: »

Yes cos you don't like the truth.

I was under the impression that the forum was for HELP and SUPPORT.

Dare I suggest that if you do not feel in a position or opinion of being able to do so you shouldn't post anything at all?

IMHO

SA

mumoftwins

Hi Homealone,

Sounds like you need financial support and emotional support too. In your case I would suggest that you contact Christians Against Poverty (https://www.capuk.org) on 01274 760720 as soon as you can. You don't have to be a Christian to have their support, they will just help you with your finances, deal with any bankruptcy and give emotional, friendly support for as long as you need it.

I was like you - falling apart about to have a breakdown, contemplating suicide then I phoned CAP who have been and still are the most marvellous support to me.

Give them a ring, please don't suffer alone xx

RAS

MOT

Really great idea. They were wonderful with Calamity, who had been paying a dreadful amount each month on a fee-paying DMP, whilst on benefits.

homealone_2

what should my next course of action be and has anyone worked out exactly what my surplus is i keep getting different figures and have seen quite a few on here now too