please help! cant cope anymore!

homealone_2

i came on here originally several weeks ago not long after my husband left me in nearly £30,000 of debt all in my name. i was advised to post an SOA which showed up a minus figure of £275 per month i got lots of helpful advice and i came up with minus £175. my next port of call was CCCS who i didnt find very helpful, in fact were quite rude and unsympathetic but their findings were that i had a surplus of £322 which was big jump from my minus figure, they suggested a DMP and sent all relevant paperwork through, while reading through it all i became concerned by the fact that i was to pay this figure for 8 years and 3 months and i really couldnt see how i could agree to it when even if they found £322 on paper i couldnt find it in my purse. their expenditure form did not allow for the same things on the SOA that is on here. i rang them back saying this and they said they did not think they would change the forms allowances but made an appointment for 10 feb to go through budget again. in the mean time i was advised to try another agency who may be more sympathetic. i rang clear start who advertise helping those who are disabled and suffering financial difficulty i rang them and went through a completely different form from the other two and although they came up with a similar figure of a surplus of £309 due to my son reaching 18 in march he said he could see situation changing dramatically and he said findings were for bankruptcy. an appointment was made for solicitor to call me yesterday at 2 0 clock. i should have taken it as a bad sign when solicitor didnt call. however i spent weekend getting used to idea and although was upset at thought of losing approx £5,000 of shares purchased for kids in the 80's it seemed a small price to pay for peace of mind. since husband leaving he has made no contact or returned any calls and although all the debt is his through a brief call with his mother he has told me to get on with it not his problem, so i was all set for bankruptcy as could see no other choice, paperwork arrived this morning and they had made a few mistakes and needed to tell them solicitor had not called either so rang them again and this time no quite so nice a man answered. once i told him discrepancies he came up with a surplus figure of £510!! i could not believe my hearing, how can these peoples figures differ by so much. i told him that only days ago same company said i should go bankrupt and he laughed and said was i being ridiculous with such a large surplus no one would allow bankruptcy and he said i should have an IVA i thought you had to be employed for an IVA and he said no. i asked him about each company having different sums allowed on their expenditure and he said well some people allow fiction to go on form and if i went along with it all that would happen would be that when real figures were submitted any previous recommendation would be void. i said i needed time to let this all sink in and would ring him back.
all i have done since then is cry and stare long and hard at a bottle of sleeping pills and i know how pathetic that sounds but i just dont know how much more i can dope with. thats 3 different outcomes in as many days and i am still scraping around trying to see how there is any surplus figure at all. i am only one month behind on my payments to creditors but have paid two small payments to them yet at 8 o clock every morning i have halifax calling me telling me to sell jewelery or borrow from my 72 yr old pensioner mother, then sending me letters charging me £10 per call. my credit card company have already added £20 to account and so far only the inland revenue have been understanding by passing it on to a hardship team for things to be reviewed in 6 months time when i thought they would give me the hardest time as half of the entire debt is owed to them. this last agency recommended i pay inland revenue £100 a month to get repayment started as no matter how helpful they may seem they were not going to write it off or wait forever for it.
what do i do now? i dont know what to do? i cant let more charges build up while i faff about not able to make a decision on what to do. why are not all the agencies working off the same expenditure sheet i dont understand why one lets you have your hair cut and the other doesnt i am feeling less and less able to cope. am in so much pain with my back as am trying not to take my usual prescribed doses of morphine as trying to keep clear headed while going through letters and forms. if i go through another advice line what will they come up with? please please please help i feel like i am going out of my mind!!

yellowmonkey

I see your light is not on. I hope you are OK.

I am no expert regarding bankruptcy but try to take stock. It is only money and I know it is a cliche but it is so true.

Try to defuse the Halifax pestering you by getting caller display and just ignore them. It is YOU that is important in all of this and try not to think of doing anything silly as there is ALWAYS a way out of these situations and you have all that to look forward to. There will be a brighter future for you but it is just a bit cloudy at the moment.

All the Advice lines seem to have different guidlines regarding what your allowences should be so god knows how they come up with these figures.

I am on nights tonight until 6am so feel free to come back on if you feel like it and I am here for a chat.

Take care

ym

startagain_2

homealone,
When you wake up this morning and read ym's message and this one from me you will know that there is help and support for you right here.
I can only begin to imagine how much distress and pain your back is giving you - mine was really bad but I never needed morphine. I am so sorry.
Now, is this company that you have rung a paid service? It sounds like it if they are using solicitors who don't come cheap and certainly not free!
You didn't get much help from CCCS why not try National Debtline?
I know that I am guilty sometimes of looking for a "miracle" to get me out of problem situations and any less is considered a failure. Could it be that you thought CCCS weren't helpful enough, it may be worth waiting for the second interview.
yellowmonkey is right - why don't you get caller display on your phone or even anonymous and withheld calls barred. it really works.
Is it worth you popping your SOA on here again for everyone to have another look. You certainly need to start things moving - I am not sure in which direction but it is time to take the bull by the horns.
Post again when you can and we will all put our thinking caps on and help you through this. Put the sleeping pills in the back of the cupboard and the back of your mind......
Thinking of you
SA

tigerfeet2006

Homealone, do as Startagain suggests and pop up your SoA again, make a note of what your income is now and what it will be in March . Don't panic about this please, it is not worth it.

You have taken advice from the agencies but you don't necesarily have to agree with it. As long as you understand all the implications of bankruptcy then you will be fine.

Keep posting on here and talking to us.

wallopadonkey

ha just put up your soa again for us to look at and if you have them to hand see where the other figures differ to those
we are all here to chat elp advise etc just pop in and ask!:A

i found cccs helpful but on different days we had different conversations with loads of them and some where better than others

we are all here for you hunny

dalip

Look HA as TF says you have taken advice just because one says a DMP does not mean you HAVE to do that.

Go on-line, fill those forms in,phone your local court and go bc. It is the only way you are going to get peace of mind. I saw your SOA yesterday and there is no way a judge would refuse you bc. Your health is suffering and that is bad.

I think most of us have felt like we are in a corner at some point. Once you take that positive decision to go bc you will amazed at how calm you will feel.

We will all be here to help with anything you are not sure on,to hold your hand and yes (other thread;) ) to send a few hugs.

Take a deep breath girl and go for it.Dx

sententia_2

i agree with what dalip says. i had a surplus income of some £600 plus per month and it was no issue in me being made BR. The issue was that the monthly repayments to the various creditors exceeded my monthly suplus - ie i was insolvent. If it is a choice between a crippling IVA last 8+ years or a 3yr IPA at a much lower rate following BR I know which one I would choose. The only issue other people may have which I guess would be a consideration as to entering into an IVA would be an attempt to keep their house. This didn't apply in my case as i didnt own a house.

Do what is in YOUR financial interest to do. The banks can go swivel.

Months down the line after BR some banks still ring chasing me despite having been told im BR. I remind them im BR so won't be dealing with them. I also tell them they can offset what I owe them from the £40bn of taxpayers money I've helped contributed to that the government has bailed them out of going BR!!

homealone_2

sententia wrote: »

i agree with what dalip says. i had a surplus income of some £600 plus per month and it was no issue in me being made BR. The issue was that the monthly repayments to the various creditors exceeded my monthly suplus - ie i was insolvent. If it is a choice between a crippling IVA last 8+ years or a 3yr IPA at a much lower rate following BR I know which one I would choose. The only issue other people may have which I guess would be a consideration as to entering into an IVA would be an attempt to keep their house. This didn't apply in my case as i didnt own a house.

Do what is in YOUR financial interest to do. The banks can go swivel.

Months down the line after BR some banks still ring chasing me despite having been told im BR. I remind them im BR so won't be dealing with them. I also tell them they can offset what I owe them from the £40bn of taxpayers money I've helped contributed to that the government has bailed them out of going BR!!

i can see where you are coming from but because inland revenue are not taking any money from me at the moment my monthly expenditure to creditors is £366 and depending on what agency surplus figure you go by i have more than that available at one. CCCS said £322 clearstart said £309 initally and they said bankruptcy which i couldnt understand as CCCS had come to am almost identical amount yet they said DMP and when clearstart altered a figure they got wrong they then gave me a surplus of £510. if i go along with CCCS figure can i contact them and say have looked at their suggestion of using my £322 in a DMP and have decided i would rather go bankrupt could they turn me down or get stropey

deedee_3

The alowances for a DMP are a lot tighter than for bankruptcy, there is a lot more leeway in a SoA for bankruptcy.

Sorry I can't remeber what your SoA looked like so will have to try and search for it. Let me get back to you.

Please don't panic as Sententia said she went bankrupt with a lot of surplus so you can to. If you get an IPA then it can be altered if your circumstances change.

deedee_3

homealone wrote: »

Statement of Affairs & Personal Balance Sheet
Summary
Monthly Budget Summary

Amount(£)

Total monthly income

1,448.24

Monthly expenses (incl. secured loans)

1,564.04

Available for debt repayments

-115.8

UNsecured debt repayments

160

Surplus

-275.8

Personal Balance Sheet Summary

Amount(£)

Total Assets (things you own)

3,000

Total Secured Debt

-0

Total Unsecured Debt

-22,263.45

Net Assets

-19,263.45

Comments on the results
You do not have enough monthly income to meet your expenses and your minimum monthly debt repayments. Seek ways to increase your income and/or reduce your expenditure by £275.8. Whatever your results show, it always pays to seek advice or comments from others. Why not post your SOA details on our Debt Management discussion board or on your preferred discussion forum elsewhere. Thank you for using the SOA Calculator at www.makesenseofcards.com.
Income, Expense, Debt & Asset Details
Income

Amount(£)

Monthly income after tax

386.24

Partners monthly income

0

Benefits child tax credit £91.01weekly

962

Other income

100 What is this?

Total monthly income

1448.24

Expenses

Amount(£)

Mortgage

0

Secured loan payments

0

Rent housing benefit £517.83

517.83

Management charge (leasehold property)

0

Council tax tax benefit £104

104

Electricity

40 Is this really this low?

Gas

25Is this really this low?

Oil

0

Water Rates

28.00

Telephone (land line)

18

Mobile phone

25

TV Licence

12

Satellite/Cable TV

58 Not allowed on your SoA will have to come out of your surplus.

Internet services

9 Ditto

Groceries etc.

350 As son is all but an adult try for £380

Clothing

30

Petrol/diesel

0 Do you not have a car?

Road tax

0

Car Insurance

0

Car maintenenance (including MOT)

0

Car Parking

0

Other travel

0 If no car how do you get about?

Childcare/nursery

0

Other child related expenses

0

Medical (prescriptions, dentists, opticians etc.) tax exempt £10

10

Pet Insurance/Vet bills

0 Any pets?

Buildings Insurance

0

Contents Insurance

20

Life Assurance

18.50

Other Insurance

3.98

Presents (birthday, christmas etc.)

20 some allow some don't but leave and see.

Haircuts

20

Entertainment

0

Holiday

0 £30

Emergency Fund

0

(Unnamed monthly expense)

0

sky repair

8.25 this may be disallowed but leave.

mag subscription

0

18185

15 what is this?

pc world

7.99 What is this?

Total monthly expenses

1564.04

-

figures in red are the new benefits i have started to receive since last posting on here (think i may have answered own question, no doubt new benefits are reason for hike in available funds) still seems very strange to insist on paying someone (inland revenue) when they have said not to for time being anyway i receive dla and ib and my son gets dla too for himself i live here with him 18 and daughter probably here 14 out of 30 day month

Have made a few comments if you could let us know the answers to the questions. When does Child Tax Credit/CHB end?

Dodger61

homealone, firstly you are not alone, secondly everyone will do what they can to help you. Most people posting on here have experienced overwhelming debt and we all have got through to the other side. Sometimes it occupies your every waking moment and all you see is £ shillings and pence in every event in your life. You WILL get through this, be strong. From what you have posted and he advice you have had, if it was me I would go BR. Thats my opinion, various agencies may tell you different, but if you are staring at a bottle of sleeping pills, clearly the advice you have been given has not been of comfort to you. The hardest thing in the world is to make that decision, once made you can start to live again. The easy thing in the world is to give up, dont go there girl, be stong, move forward towards the light.
Dodger x