Child Maintenance (CSA) questions (merged)

loftus

The natural parent should pay towards the upkeep of their children but I couldn't imagine moving in with/marrying someone with children from a previous relationship and not doing my bit to support my "new" family. A new partner and their children come as a package, not some sort of a la carte menu where you pick the bits you want!

thesaint

exil wrote:

Sorry, that doesn't compute. You marry someone and decide you aren't going to support your new spouse's children? AT ALL?????

I have never been in debt, but I imagine that 'makingendsmeet' is extremely stressed, and fears for his future finances, this has a knock on effect to his relationship with his wife and kids.

I guess that his wife won't get any money from her ex partners if she asked, but the fact that she refuses to try will drive him to think that she cares more about them than her new husband. If she tried and failed, I guess that although not happy, he would feel that she is on his side.

I have been in a relationship with someone with a child from a previous relationship. I never had a problem with paying for her child for things, but it did P*** me off that she never asked her childs father for any money for her upkeep.

All people getting into a relationship with someone who already has children knows that they will dip into their own pocket, but they should not be forced to support them 100%, they should be only enhancing what they already get.

kelloggs36

exil wrote:

Sorry, that doesn't compute. You marry someone and decide you aren't going to support your new spouse's children? AT ALL?????

I didn't say that. I said that it should remain the RESPONSIBILITY OF THE ORIGINAL PARENT and they should NOT expect that the new step parent will absolve them of their responsibiliy. Of course (as I already said) the new step parent will naturally, by default take up that responsibility but it should NOT be to REPLACE that of the original parent.

Sarahpuggy

Hi all,

I am writing on behalf of my brother in law. He is really quite down about the situation so im hoping some of you can help. I did a search but nothing came up on the forums.

Basically, he got involved with a girl probably about 2 years ago, he thought they were very much in love but we (his family) always had a little suspicion something wasn't right.

Anyway she ended up getting pregnant, they got a house together..all seemed well, but then she they were arguing alot, her parents were terrible to my brother in law, so all through the pregnancy he was comign and going, not really together, but not apart totally either. It was hit and miss whether he would be allowed at the birth, in the end he was. She refused to put him on the birth certificate though.Anyway not long after, they hardly saw each other, she sent very nasty abusive texts and phone calls to BIL and his parents. I must stress, my BIL wanted to see his son all along and has really tried to reason with the mother, but to no avail. It seems she got everything she wanted, a baby, a free house and a life on benefits!

So my BIL got a better job, working away from the town during the week to keep his mind off it. He has been very upset by all of this. She sent messages saying she has a new man (whos well off apparantly), a new life, doesn't want him anywhere near etc..

This morning a letter from the CSA arrives. He hasn't been paying anything so far as the relationship got so volatile, he really thought it best to let it lie for a while.

So..if he starts to pay maintence through the CSA, does he have any legal rights to demand to see the child at all?? Does anyone know the percentage of his wages he will need to pay? The letter was something with forms to fill in.

He really cant afford to get a lawyer at all though. Unless he was claiming dole and then they would help him i think. He has been thinking more and more about going travelling for a few months to get away from it all (quite small town), how would this effect things with the CSA?

If anyone has been in a similiar situation or knows any of the answers it would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks

sarymclary

Hi,
What a difficult situation for your BIL. Although I do not have any direct personal experience of this myself, I have been doing a bit of research for a friend of mine who is trying to find out his own position re. his child, difficult ex, CSA, etc. I found the following website, which is relevant to single parents whether they have parental responsiblity (PR) or not. It has a lot of different factsheets which will hopefully give him the basics on his position, and also about how, if he wants, to get his name put on the child's birth certificate retrospectively. It might not be too late for him to look at some kind of mediation support in order to get access to his child, but without any legal knowledge I'd not like to speculate further here.

The rule of thumb is that support for a single child is 15% of net earnings. He should bear in mind that the mother could seek to have the previous 2 years paid too.

Here are two links to be going on with. Best of luck to BIL.

http://gingerbread.org.uk/information-and-advice/Factsheets.htm

http://www.csa.gov.uk/

Lil2002

sarymclary wrote:

Hi,


The rule of thumb is that support for a single child is 15% of net earnings. He should bear in mind that the mother could seek to have the previous 2 years paid too.

Maintenance is only calculated from the day he is first contacted by the CSA. No backmoney will be due.

Good luck to your brother.

Zara33

Afraid he will have no legal rights even if he has to pay child support.

hobo28

Zara33 wrote:

Afraid he will have no legal rights even if he has to pay child support.

Not true. If he is the child's father he has every right to expect contact. The issue of child support and contact are quite rightly dealt with seperately. Ie. he can't say "if I pay, I see" But he can go to court and expect a court to give him contact. First things first though, if thats the way he wants to go, he needs to get some legal advice and firstly get parental responsibility.

That said it may be an uphill battle all the way, just be warned.

Zara33

hobo28 wrote:

Not true. If he is the child's father he has every right to expect contact. The issue of child support and contact are quite rightly dealt with seperately. Ie. he can't say "if I pay, I see" But he can go to court and expect a court to give him contact. First things first though, if thats the way he wants to go, he needs to get some legal advice and firstly get parental responsibility.

That said it may be an uphill battle all the way, just be warned.

To clarify my previous post i was responding to this little snippet

So..if he starts to pay maintence through the CSA, does he have any legal rights to demand to see the child at all??

sorry for any confusion.

**Patty**

If the child was born after 1st December 2003....then he has automatic PR.

If he decides to go for contact, then most family law solicitors will give 20-30 mins *free interview*. I suggest he makes a list of questions before going to maximise the time. They will also give him some idea of cost (although, if she disputes it, expect it to be thousands) should he decide to go to court to press for contact.
Having said that......from your original post, it seems the child is now 2 (?) and he hasn't either seen the child or paid any maintenance since his/her birth. The contact (if he gets it) will probably be supervised at a contact centre to start with......he can't expect to just walk away with a child who doesn't know him.